Jim Foley Update

[Jim_Alaska]

Over the last few months before Jim had his surgery - in my grief now - I had forgotten. In Jim's prayers, that I heard, he often dwelled on his home in heaven and distinguished it from his home in heaven and his home on earth. To most people that may not mean anything, but for me, it told a lot. He had never really done that before a few months ago.

Now that he is not waking up, the doctors have their reasons why. His brain is severely damaged by the stroke. If he did wake up it is likely that he wouldn’t be able to see, speak, feed himself, or breathe on his own. He has also developed an infection (Pneumonia) in his lungs. But I think there is an added reason - he doesn't want to wake up. He really has nothing to look forward to, he hated what the neuropathy was doing to him and it was getting worse, to the point that at some point he wouldn't have been able to do anything but sit in his chair and wait to die, which he felt he was already doing.

I really think he was ready to go months ago, long before he knew about his heart problem. Even though he did have great hope that he would recover from his surgery and feel better and have more energy. I also feel he was torn between the desire to die and leaving me a widow. But there is also that he felt trapped in his body.

So I have decided that I will let him die peacefully. I think he has a few more days before he has to have the stomach feeding portal installed. I have told them not to. It will also be at that time I will have them remove his ventilator so he can pass peacefully. There really is no hope he will recover, but even if there was - recover to what? To continue his neuropathy deterioration? I really think he doesn't want that, and is one reason he hasn't woke up.

I am sorry, so very sorry. Not just for me, but for him, his family, and his close friends. I don't know the exact date they will do this, but it will happen soon. I will go and see him one last time tomorrow and say my goodbyes. I cannot bear to watch him die. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. But he would not want to live like this, and I am abiding by his wishes. Please know, my heart goes out to you.

Linda, his wife

[Pastor Matt]

Linda, this must be a hard decision to make. We are praying for you and if there is anything we can help in, please let me know.. 

[WellWithMySoul]

Linda, my heart is so burdened and heavy for you.  I'm so glad that you have our Lord Jesus, the Spirit--our great Comforter.  I'm just over on the other side of Mt. Shasta from you, and it was our church that helped to put the roofing on yours just a short while back.  One of the fellas that attends your church has a brother that goes to our church.  I will share with our Pastor and ask for prayer for you and for the family and friends and your church.  I'm lifting you up in much prayer.

[HappyChristian]

Linda, we appreciate your keeping us updated.  While we never met in person, I enjoyed knowing Jim via this forum. He was a godly example and a good administrator. I know he prayed for my family during various hard times, and that has always been a blessing to my heart.

We (my hubs and I) are so very sorry for the results of this journey...other than we know that Jim will be in Glory, whole, and waiting for you. We will continue to keep you in our prayers as you walk this path. God bless you and your family, Linda. 

[Rebecca]

Linda, I understand completely the heart-wrenching decision you have made. My mom and I had to make this same decision for my father just a few years ago. My dad went by Alan on this site and often spoke favorably of Jim when we had in-depth discussions about topics and conversations from this site. I am sure my father and Jim will be rejoicing together that they finally get to meet each other in Heaven. I will continue to pray for you and your family as I know these days and the days to follow will be very difficult. May the Lord bring you peace during this time of decision-making and grief. 

[DaveW]

Linda, although we never met, I have for many years counted Jim as close friend.

I will continue in prayer for you at this time, and also for Brother Jim.

The Lord's will be done, and His peace for you.

Thank you for sharing with us.

Dave.

[swathdiver]

Thank you for the update Linda.  Jim was a trusted confidant and resource on the things of God.  He will be missed but we shall meet again in Glory!

[HappyChristian]

This morning's update from Linda:

"I am going to try my best to explain. They took his ventilator out today. It is true Jim  hasn't passed away yet. But I want to make it perfectly clear - he will pass away at some point. He isn't "ok". Yes he is breathing comfortably and he is relaxed. But this is because he is heavily drugged with morphine and some other strong drug. He isn't in pain. He is still comatose. That isn't going to change. But because he is breathing on his own, the dying process will be prolonged. They do not have him hooked to an IV. Nor are they feeding him through a tube. 

 

They will be moving him to a new unit so he will have more Palliative care. And because he is breathing on his own, it could take up to 3 weeks or more for him to pass.

 

To me, his condition has deteriorated since a few days ago when I saw him. He still responds to them suctioning his mouth out, but it is a much less of a response. He didn't respond to me at all. I don't really think he knew I was there.

 

I really don't know if I will go back until after he is gone to get his belongings. He IS NOT ALONE. Really he isn't, the nursing staff is in and out multiple times a day. And when they do anything to him, they talk to him. 

 

What will happen from here on or how long it takes is unknown. But I know in my heart he is getting the best care he can."

[Jerry]

Wow, in the sense that I wasn't expecting to see something like this today - I haven’t visited the message boards for a while, as I have had problems with my computer and I usually access Online Baptist on it. Praying for the Lord to give Jim peace (if he is at all aware of what is going on), and for the Lord to comfort his family.

Please don't take this as flippant or trying to promote myself, but I have found that the Lord uses some of my poems to comfort and strengthen family members in difficult times like this. These two may be a strength and a reminder of the Lord's care and promises at this time.

https://realmccoy.earnestlycontending.com/one-day-up-in-glory/

https://realmccoy.earnestlycontending.com/through-this-valley/

Edited July 26, 2023 by Jerry

[HappyChristian]

I'm sure this email was hard for Linda to write:

"I have set up donations for Jim's burial:

 

To Jim's many friends and family

 

Please know that your support means everything to me as I navigate this painful time. Even though I realized his life was coming to an end after 80 years, nothing prepared me for it happening so soon. We both thought we would have a few more years together.

 

We did not even consider Jim going to surgery and not coming out feeling better and having more energy. However he never woke up. He had several small strokes during the surgery. As you may know by now, he is off life support and being kept comfortable till his body no longer can sustain his life. As hard as this time is, I are still continuing to honor his wishes as to where he is finally laid to rest and where he wanted that to be.

 

Many of you have reached out to me and have asked how you can help me during this time. I really want to honor Jim’s wishes and I plan to do everything I can to make his wishes come true. One of his long standing desires was to be buried next to his late wife Marcia. 

 

Someone has donated the plot for him, and another is building a casket. However, it is going to cost around another $5,000 more to actually get him laid to rest. If you are able to, and comfortable doing so, I would really appreciate any donation, big or small, towards fulfilling his desire to be buried next to Marcia.

 

Funds for his funeral cost may be sent to: https://www.paypal.com/pools/c/8WcvSEZEvi

 

Thank you again for your support during this time.

 

With appreciation,

Jim Foley’s, wife Linda"

[HappyChristian]

"They have moved Jim to a new room on the same floor where he will get more Palliative care until he passes. He is unchanged from yesterday. He's breathing comfortably and relaxed. He is still comatose. I won't be giving any more updates in email after this one.

 

I am grateful Jim set in drafts all your emails so I could just update everyone with just one email. He tried to think of everything. But that was his way wasn't it? He was a kind and gentle man. I love him deeply. I will miss him for a very long time.

 

I am going to try very hard to bring him home and make it so he can be buried next to his late wife Macia, I know he really wanted that. I ask that those who pray, pray for me to be able to accomplish that. 

 

Linda"

 

[HappyChristian]

"I received news Jim will probably pass away within 24 hours. 

Again I will give my condolences to those who loved and cared for him.  My heart is weighed down and extremely sad for my loss as well. I don't know how I am going to get through this, but I know Jehovah God knows and understands my sorrow and will give me peace. But I also know that will take time. I do pray I have the strength to get through this and continue on without him. It will not be easy. 

 

Linda"

[BrotherTony]

1 hour ago, HappyChristian said:

"I received news Jim will probably pass away within 24 hours. 

Again I will give my condolences to those who loved and cared for him.  My heart is weighed down and extremely sad for my loss as well. I don't know how I am going to get through this, but I know Jehovah God knows and understands my sorrow and will give me peace. But I also know that will take time. I do pray I have the strength to get through this and continue on without him. It will not be easy. 

 

Linda"

Linda, you are in our thoughts and prayers at this difficult time. We're praying that Jim will pass peacefully into his rest and reward. 

Brother Tony and Sister Vivian Lanius 

[Napsterdad]

I did not know Jim too well and don't know if he had ever served in the military. If so, a commonly forgotten vet benefit is burial costs. Contact the Veteran's Administration if Jim served.

While not knowing Jim well, I did enjoy his fellowship here. He will be missed. I have been and will continue to pray for Jim and his family.

[HappyChristian]

8 hours ago, Napsterdad said:

I did not know Jim too well and don't know if he had ever served in the military. If so, a commonly forgotten vet benefit is burial costs. Contact the Veteran's Administration if Jim served.

While not knowing Jim well, I did enjoy his fellowship here. He will be missed. I have been and will continue to pray for Jim and his family.

I passed this on to her just in case she doesn't hop on here again.

 

@BrotherTony, Linda asked me to thank you and your wife.