Tragedy

[RayJr]

Bro. thanks for sharing that with us, our hearts and prayer go out to you, God Bless, Ray

[matie-k]

Wow...I'm so sorry to hear about this. I'm so glad you have your pastor and church family for help and encouragement! We'll be praying for you all.

[Annie]

John 81, I don't know what to say other than to let you know my heart hurts for you, and I am praying for you. May you have some precious times in the Word as you seek the wisdom that comes only from above, the grace that only God can give, and the peace which passes all understanding.

[282Mikado]

I'll be praying for you and yours, John.

[speerjp1]

John, we will be praying for God's mercy, grace, strength, and power to be made evident in this situation.

Job 11:18 -- And thou shalt be secure, because there is hope; yea, thou shalt dig about thee, and thou shalt take thy rest in safety.

[dwayner79]

My thoughts are with you bud....

[Bakershalfdozen]

Wow. Praying for you, John. :pray

[John81]

I thank all of you from the depths of my heart for your concern, prayers and words of encouragement.

We are all here at home now. When I was allowed to return home my oldest son acted as if nothing had happened and just started telling me about some stuff from high school. During those three weeks I wasn't allowed here it seems he basically did almost as he pleased and refused to help my wife or take care of things he should have; instead, he seems to have acted like a spoiled child of 7 rather than the 14 year old he is. Our couch is old but was still okay but now thanks to him deciding he could jump on the couch with Dad not around the couch is ruined. He also ruined my recliner, knocked a hole in the stairway wall leaving plaster all over the stairs, broke a fan, banged around the outdoor garbage cans so they are destroyed (he didn't like that his Mom asked him to take the trash to the curb) and he broke the garage doors because he didn't want to cut the grass, etc.

For the most part things are calm at the moment but he really hates it that I told him I won't tolerate him disrespecting his mother and that he's not going to be acting like a little child. Each time I have told him to do something, whether it's just to put his clothes away, to cut the grass or to answer his mother when she asks him a question, he gets this hateful, defiant glare in his eyes and very grudgingly does as I say.

I've tried hard to show him love, care and concern but sadly he's so self-centered he doesn't even notice when myself, or anyone else, does nice things for him or shows him some consideration.

One good thing out of this is that his mother is finally seeing what I've been warning her about and trying to get her to see for years now.

Our youth pastor/education pastor has taken over the high school Sunday School and I have talked with him about all this and he's going to try to do what he can with our son though this and youth group, which he also handles for the high school kids.

Our pastor has lined up a great person to counsel our son if the social workers approve him. I'm not sure yet if they will approve him because he must have specific liscensing before they will approve him. This man is a former police officer, youth counselor and pastor. I really hate the idea of our son being forced into counseling with a worldly counselor.

I don't want to ramble on about our problems too much. I'm looking forward to church tomorrow, our pastor will begin preaching from the second chapter of James and our oldest can attend Sunday School after church.

I'm so very thankful for all of my friends and brothers and sisters in Christ here at OB. You don't know how badly I wanted to be able to get online and "speak" with you during the ordeal in August.

Again, thank y'all sooooooooooo much for your prayers, thoughts and concerns!!!

[Anon]

That has got to be sooo hard. And once the child knows they have the government "on their side", they are even more difficult to control. I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. He's pretty young, even, to think of running away and lying to the police. Praying for you guys.

[John81]

That has got to be sooo hard. And once the child knows they have the government "on their side"' date=' they are even more difficult to control. I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. He's pretty young, even, to think of running away and lying to the police. Praying for you guys.[/quote']

He'll be 15 in November. They could find no proof of abuse and the lead child protective investigator (or whatever his title is) admitted it was obvious we were not bad parents because our children are well mannered when they talk with them and the local police all commented how they are well behaved and polite. Even so, this social worker says he believes at least some of what our son told him even though there is no proof of any of it and his stories don't match that of anyone elses.

I can't say for sure, but some of this probably stems from our neighbor we have had problems with (I've mentioned this in other threads) who used to come storming into the street yelling that I was abusing my children because they were doing yard work. This is the same guy who threated on two different occasions to kill/shoot me; the guy I called the police on last summer because of the threats. I know my oldest son heard him accusing me of abusing him and his younger brother because they were raking in the yard. I can't know for sure, but that's the only place I can think of where ideas of claiming abuse may have begun.

It's amazing to me that my wife stating that I've never abused or hit her or our children, our 10 year old stating that he's never been abused or hit and that they have never seen me abuse our oldest doesn't seem to mean anything. The fact our pastor has seen my oldest son every Sunday for almost 2 years now and has never seen a sign of abuse and the fact that others who have seen him at least weekly have all reported no signs of abuse, all of this seems to mean nothing compared to his claims of abuse.

It's one big mess and now we'll have to deal with these social workers for at least a year.

[deafnva77]

I would move from that neighbor. He obviously bad influence on your children and planting ideas in their head. or at least put up a privacy fence so he can't complain anymore. just an idea, although you might not want to do that right away.

[Anon]

Man, that stinks that they ONLY believe the child, with NO evidence. Children who truly are abused as your son said would have some marks or scarring. Sad.

[JerryNumbers]

My sister was somewhat that way. She felt because they were not her real parents they had no right to tell her what to do & or not do.

If everything was peachy and going her way she was an ideal daughter but if they were not she was a category 5 destructive typhoon. She would attempt to tear up an anvil just to spite father and mother, them be all peachy after the destruction was done. I might add, she made sure that only family saw the fits, in front of others, even our great aunt who was around us quite often, she acted like a perfect daughter.

I remember that from a very early age, she would pitch a fit when I would call them father, mother, or grandmother, she would express loudly in a total outrage that our mother was dead, our father will be coming for us. Seems when she would do this I would just draw closer to father, mother, and grandmother. But the truth be our father got rid of us and didn't want us. I felt for father, mother, & grandmother many times because they loved her so much and tried their best but yet she very seldom treated them with respect.

I know its a different situation, but its some of the same problems. It seems for some reason some children have total rebellion inside of them.

Prayers. :pray

[Bro. Diego]

I would move from that neighbor. He obviously bad influence on your children and planting ideas in their head. or at least put up a privacy fence so he can't complain anymore. just an idea' date=' although you might not want to do that right away.[/quote']

Wise, smart! I back this comment, he has gotten those ideas from somewhere, I think if you get a chance to move it would be good.

[Danny Carlton]

Very few women understand that a false accusation of rape is as horrifying to the man accused as the rape would have been to the woman doing the accusing.

At the same time very few children comprehend that false accusations of abuse are as painful and horrifying (if not more so) than what abuse they might have suffered at the hands of an abusing parent. It seems few social workers understand that either, nor do they understand the abuse those false accusation place on the other children, who must then live in fear of being yanked away from their parents.

I'll be praying for you. I've also had a run in with a lazy, out-of-control social worker who was more interested in making a case than whether or not there was actually any problem. Fortunately for us I was able to solidly prove our innocence, as well as the social worker's incompetence.

But having my own son lie about me, that would simply tear my heart out.

I'll pray for healing and forgiveness for your family. I wish I knew of some other way of helping as well.