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John81

Tragedy

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The social workers don't know about this yet. The woman who is in charge of our case should be here on Friday.

My Dad said if these people had any smarts at all they would reconsider all this but they probably won't.

I'll just have to wait and see what they think about it all come Friday.

We were discussing the anger management classes they say I have to take the last time she was here. She told me the reason the preparation session (more like an interview) for those classes can take so long (the anger management lady told me one and a half to two and a half hours!) is because we will have to go over my history of violence. I told her the meeting shouldn't last long at all then since I have no history of violence.

My wife affirmed to these people that I've never hit her or threatened her and that I've never abused the children but that seems to mean nothing to them. :roll

They seem to just take the childs word, regardless of what the parents say, and regardless of the fact there is no evidence of me being violent, having anger problems or having a violent history.

Truth and reality seem to have little meaning to them.

Which reminds me...when the social worker asked us about rules that we have I mentioned the Ten Commandments. She stated that the Ten Commandments can't be kept and are therefore unrealistic and not really appropriate as a basis for the rules of our home! :eek


I would have asked her how many of the commandments she could name. :lol Has your son expressed to you just what it is he wants? I mean, does he understand the consequences that he is a minor and he will have to be under SOMEONES authority regardless until he is 18? If he wants to remain in your care there are some things he is going to need to comply with because at some point you may not be able to fight state intervention. If he is trying to fight you because he wants to leave then I think your idea of getting him full-time help living elsewhere for a while may be the best bet. Otherwise his antics may just escalate. How scary and frustrating. Will continue to pray for your son and family, John. Please keep us updated. I'm so sorry you are having to go through all of this. How is your health issues? Are you doing ok? Let us know if there is anything else we can pray for you about.

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I'm just thinking with my keyboard. But there is no way to get clear of this social worker except to move to another state and they not no where you've gone to.

Now if you were able to move to another state, them you could get whatever type help you thought was right, like sending him to that place in Missouri you have spoken of and or they might be something else some where.

But many people do not have the resources to do such thing, for that could be very costly, I know I wouldn't have it.

I'm trying to look on the bright side of this, at least all of this has come about before something bad and drastic happened. Many times that is not the case.

What the social worker said sounds about normal for a none Christian social worker, but I don't know if they would let a true Christians be a social worker. Seems she is again teaching children not to lie or murder or steal.

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My advice' date=' John...is to get away from this social worker. ASAP. If they are tied to the state and government...I smell a rat already. Actually, I think the man from your church who wanted to help with counseling is the better choice. IMHO. Also, as far as health insurance goes? Have you ever heard of the "Christian Brotherhood"? My in-laws have had them for years and it has been the biggest blessing for them. With my FIL being self-employed and the # of children they raised, and are still raising, it would have been an unbelievable amount of money spent on health insurance for all these years. The "Christian Brotherhood" has been there for many Christians over the years. :amen:[/quote']

The social worker was appointed to us by the state. She works for Children and Family Services, or whatever they call themselves these days. She has to approve who counsels our son according to whatever state guidelines she has to follow. She's not a counselor, just a caseworker who, by state regulations, must stop by and ask us a myriad of pointless questions.

Never heard of the Christian Brotherhood but I will check into that.

Thank you.

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I would have asked her how many of the commandments she could name. :lol Has your son expressed to you just what it is he wants? I mean, does he understand the consequences that he is a minor and he will have to be under SOMEONES authority regardless until he is 18? If he wants to remain in your care there are some things he is going to need to comply with because at some point you may not be able to fight state intervention. If he is trying to fight you because he wants to leave then I think your idea of getting him full-time help living elsewhere for a while may be the best bet. Otherwise his antics may just escalate. How scary and frustrating. Will continue to pray for your son and family, John. Please keep us updated. I'm so sorry you are having to go through all of this. How is your health issues? Are you doing ok? Let us know if there is anything else we can pray for you about.


I'm trying hard to make sure I don't seem confrontational or argumentative about anything. One of their state stipulations is that we "cooperate fully" so I've been minding my tongue.

Tim says he wants to stay with us but my wife and I really believe that's no longer an option. He knows the rules, knows right from wrong yet continually chooses to go against them and we really have no way of changing that. With the continual escalation of the seriousness of the wrongs/sins he's doing we are fearing that he may end up hurting someone or himself, or (God forbid :pray ) killing someone.

He's convinced that anything he decides to do is okay and justified simply because he wanted to do it. He views those who question or try to stop him from doing what he wants to do as being wrong and his enemies. He believes his lies are true because that's what he wants to believe.

I warned him just a week ago about the serious nature of all this stuff he's brought upon us. I told him that if he got into any trouble at school or elsewhere the police or government workers would come in and take him away and his mom and I couldn't stop it. When I reminded him of this he just said, "I don't remember you saying that." Which is what he always says when I remind him or ask him about something I've told him about. The simple fact is, he doesn't pay attention and only bothers to remember or think about what he wants to.

It's very sad and frustrating but for some reason he's hardened his heart. Even after the police talking with him, myself talking with him and his mother talking with him and explaining how serious and wrong his "death list" was he refuses to acknowledge it as such and continues to insist there was nothing wrong with it. He has shown not a tiniest bit of remorse or sorrow, let alone any understanding of guilt. In his mind, he's right in whatever he does and all others are wrong and just out to get him.

I truly appreciate your prayers. I do believe the prayers of my brothers and sisters here have been a major factor in sustaining me/us through this tragedy.

I'm feeling okay right now. Friday I have x-rays taken and a doctors appointment to see if we got all of the kidney stone out of my system. Please pray the stone is completely gone and no further treatments or surgeries will be needed.

My wife needs to have an MRI on her right knee, which will most likely need surgery.

Please pray we may be able to get Tim into a good Christian home for youth that may help him.

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Please pray we may be able to get Tim into a good Christian home for youth that may help him.



John...why don't you contact Dr. Jack High at "Solid Rock" (let him you know me from Cleveland, OH)? I will PM you with my last name. He will know that last name! LOL. One of My BIL's went on a missionary trip to Mexico with him years ago. Also, my old IFB church supports them.


He might be able to direct you in the right path for Tim. Dr. High was a troubled youth himself. He and his wife have helped countless girls...and now the boys' home. :amen: They are an off-shoot of Lester Roloff and another IFB man (the name is escaping me) that other's would know. They are good Christian men! God bless you and your family. :Bible:

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In all His long ages of time, God is at
work for our good. In prosperity, He
tests our gratitude; in mediocrity, He
tests our contentment; in misfortune, He
tests our submission; in darkness, He
tests our faith; in the middle of
temptation, He tests our steadfastness;
and at all times, He tests our obedience
and trust in Him.

-Author Unknown

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Well I just received a phone call from the high school principal and Tim has been expelled for 10 days pending a board hearing. According to him the policy the board must follow means Tim will be expelled completely at the board hearing.

There is some form of alternative school, where they send the trouble makers, that Tim can attend if he goes through a psychiatric evaluation (and passes) at a hospital 90 some miles from here. If we were to go that route, he would have to attend that school for one year with no problems before he would be allowed to return to the regular high school.

Earlier today I spoke with the Christian home in Missouri and they said it will take them about 5-10 business days to process things and set up an interview with us.

This Christian home has their own Christian school, church, etc. They have job assignments for everyone, everyone must attend school, chapel, and there are various Bible study groups and other programs and helps.

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Well I just received a phone call from the high school principal and Tim has been expelled for 10 days pending a board hearing. According to him the policy the board must follow means Tim will be expelled completely at the board hearing.

There is some form of alternative school, where they send the trouble makers, that Tim can attend if he goes through a psychiatric evaluation (and passes) at a hospital 90 some miles from here. If we were to go that route, he would have to attend that school for one year with no problems before he would be allowed to return to the regular high school.

Earlier today I spoke with the Christian home in Missouri and they said it will take them about 5-10 business days to process things and set up an interview with us.

This Christian home has their own Christian school, church, etc. They have job assignments for everyone, everyone must attend school, chapel, and there are various Bible study groups and other programs and helps.


Will pray that the Christian home gets back with you asap, and that the social worker will back off and let you do what you think is best for your son.

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Well' date=' it's not likely right at this point, but I hope being expelled gives him a bit of a jolt. John, do you think Tim wants to go to the Christian home?[/quote']

Well, I basically told him he could choose to go to the Christian home if we can get him in there or he could refuse and let the police or social workers choose some place for him to go. He chose the Christian home.

I pray the social workers won't try to block us from sending him to the Christian home or try to cause any other kind of trouble for us; like taking Tim away or anything else.

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Well, I'm glad he chose the home. I was just thinking that if he really didn't want to go he could cause all kinds of trouble.

You know, if he tells the social worker that he wants to go there, they could just back off. Will be praying about it.

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We'll have to have another talk, or more, with him. He really wants to stay here, but we don't really see that as an option that's good for him, or anyone else really, at this time. That's why I told him he could choose the Christian home or the police or social workers would choose a place for him (foster home, detention center, boys home, jail,).

Once it sinks in that he can't return to high school I think that will make it a bit easier for him to accept...I hope.

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John, I think it's a good sign that he wants to stay at home. Perhaps he thinks he will be able to continue to get away with things, but I think deep down inside he's scared. He is still a little boy, even though he's almost 15. He's trying to be older than he is by being tough and defiant. My heart goes out to you and your wife - and both of your boys. Each of you is hurting in different ways. Know that the God of all comfort is with you, my friend.

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[quote="HappyChristian"]John, I think it's a good sign that he wants to stay at home. Perhaps he thinks he will be able to continue to get away with things, but I think deep down inside he's scared. He is still a little boy, even though he's almost 15. He's trying to be older than he is by being tough and defiant. My heart goes out to you and your wife - and both of your boys. Each of you is hurting in different ways. Know that the God of all comfort is with you, my friend.[/quote]

Thank you so much. Your words, prayers and friendship are a true blessing.

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Yes...LuAnne, I was thinking the same thing myself. John...I will keep you ALL in constant prayer. May Our gracious God and Saviour...lead, guide, and direct you and your wife. :pray May God bless you with this whole situation.

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I can't imagine....I know but for the grace of God I may be here someday, I hope not....but feeling for your troubles very deeply as I have boys that are strong willed...and I know you must be so hurt right now, and hopeless feeling. God will work this out...
:pray

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I can't imagine....I know but for the grace of God I may be here someday, I hope not....but feeling for your troubles very deeply as I have boys that are strong willed...and I know you must be so hurt right now, and hopeless feeling. God will work this out...
:pray



I have a "strong-willed" son myself. Just like both of his parents. :smile


:hijack: He just applied to Ohio University, tonight. :eek Down in Athens, OH. He was all set up to go to OSU. OSU, Miami (of OH)...and now OU? Those are his choices in order of preference... VIA his dad...b/c his dad is paying the tuition. I was very comfortable with Miami. hehe. I need some prayers...as well. :smile You know...stock-pile them in advance? LOL.


We all need a "direct pipeline" up to the Lord Jesus Christ. Well...as my pastor says, we forget about what God does for us ALL...on His own...in His own timing. :pray :Bible:

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I can't begin to list you all by name, but you know who you are since you've been making the posts here :Green , but I want you all to know how much it means to me that you care, are moved by this, and are in prayer for us.

I've received such a large amount of encouragement from y'all, as has my wife as she really appreciates all your prayers as well.

Just knowing y'all are praying for us gives us a greater sense of hope and helps to strengthen me through all of this and to keep my eye on Jesus, my Rock and my Shield.

Thank you all so very, very much!!!

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if he expelled and you decided not to send him to a home. You could talk to the social worker into homeschooling again.
Personally, I think it's better than sending him to a school for trouble boys.. but I don't know.

i agree that could be that he is scared and don't know how to pick up the pieces he broken. It might help if you tell him we'll try again tomorrow and have a fresh start and forget what happen today. but I don't know. My own son gets in a cycle where once he got himself in trouble, he doesn't know how to end it. It like he feels bad that he got himself into it in the first place and just basically want to give up trying, probably just want to hide forever or something. He's a real nervous little guy. I usually give him award sheet though (he is 7 years old) and it seem to help him alot.

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