So....I got married

[John81]

[Will]

[okjac80]

um, maybe I am alone on this ,but I think I would have told my husband exactly what he could do with that iron if he ever talked like that!!


yes, I cook, clean, and "keep house", but I do it b/c I love my husband. He treats me w/ honor and respect and I do the same for him. I am not some maid that he can brag about to his friends about my ability to clean!

[John81]

[Guest Guest]

Very true. I wrestled with this some early on. Sadly, I've known several men who would hound their wives night and day about their "duties" while ignoring what Scripture had to say to them as husbands.

Perhaps our backgrounds shape our perspective to a degree... I have known a few IFB men who were very overbearing and controlling of their wives. That was not good, it is ungodly and an ugly thing to see. However, for each one of those I have known ten, no twenty men, who only hesitatingly led their wives if at all. The end result of this was that the wives took charge spiritually and became bossy to a degree that it was clearly evident even in church. The men were miserable, the wives were miserable, the children were miserable, and to a degree the church was miserable all because the men couldn't bring themselves to take charge and fulfill their God given roll. A marrige like that becomes a curse not a blessing...

Scripture teaches that a man is the head of his family. That means he is responsible to God for:

Himself.

His Wife.

Any children they may have.

This goes for both the Spiritual and the physical. No the husband should not lord it over or be unkind to his wife, but no one said he should. WAY to many Christians start out their marriage on the wrong foot. The husband should love his wife, treat her with consideration and deference, but the buck for all decisions stops with him. "The woman which thou gavest me" doesn't cut it. I have seen WAY to many men who allow their wife to take the buck metaphorically speaking. It isn't good for the man, it isn't good for his wife, and it is absolutely horrible for their children... If there is one thing I can't stand it is a bossy lady, or should I say bossy woman, ladies are not bossy. :cool

I think Sean understands both ends of that quite well, I think all of you are overreacting. I think, from what I have seen on this board, godsgirlie will make him a godly wife, and he will make her a godly husband. She could have done a lot worse. :wink

[kevinmiller]

um, maybe I am alone on this ,but I think I would have told my husband exactly what he could do with that iron if he ever talked like that!!


yes, I cook, clean, and "keep house", but I do it b/c I love my husband. He treats me w/ honor and respect and I do the same for him. I am not some maid that he can brag about to his friends about my ability to clean!

I think a man can and should show his love for his wife by helping out with those kinds of things, anyway. And good post.

[John81]

Perhaps our backgrounds shape our perspective to a degree... I have known a few IFB men who were very overbearing and controlling of their wives. That was not good, it is ungodly and an ugly thing to see. However, for each one of those I have known ten, no twenty men, who only hesitatingly led their wives if at all. The end result of this was that the wives took charge spiritually and became bossy to a degree that it was clearly evident even in church. The men were miserable, the wives were miserable, the children were miserable, and to a degree the church was miserable all because the men couldn't bring themselves to take charge and fulfill their God given roll. A marrige like that becomes a curse not a blessing...

Scripture teaches that a man is the head of his family. That means he is responsible to God for:

Himself.

His Wife.

Any children they may have.

This goes for both the Spiritual and the physical. No the husband should not lord it over or be unkind to his wife, but no one said he should. WAY to many Christians start out their marriage on the wrong foot. The husband should love his wife, treat her with consideration and deference, but the buck for all decisions stops with him. "The woman which thou gavest me" doesn't cut it. I have seen WAY to many men who allow their wife to take the buck metaphorically speaking. It isn't good for the man, it isn't good for his wife, and it is absolutely horrible for their children... If there is one thing I can't stand it is a bossy lady, or should I say bossy woman, ladies are not bossy. :cool

I think Sean understands both ends of that quite well, I think all of you are overreacting. I think, from what I have seen on this board, godsgirlie will make him a godly wife, and he will make her a godly husband. She could have done a lot worse.

I agree with the bulk of what you wrote; I can't say that I agree with the last paragraph ONLY because I don't know enough to speak on that.

I believe the point some of us were making, myself anyway, was that the post would have been better had it been balanced. It's best when the man/husband begins by acknowledging his part in the relationship. In the initial post that's not clear enough because the post is so heavily weighed towards the duty of the wife.

I'm with you Seth, keep them women in line and thump them with a solid old KJB if necessary :Green j/k

I know what you are saying and I agree. Again, it requires balance. The man isn't to be an overbearing tyrant but neither is he to be a husband who let's his wife play boss.

If both husband and wife strive to fulfill their marital responsibilities, and help their spouses with this along the way, God will reward that.

[JerryNumbers]

I think this is turning into a Sean bashing thread. :roll

He didn't say anything wrong, any implication that it was a "work contract" as someone so unkindly put it, is utterly without basis. Obviously godsgurlie agrees with him or she wouldn't have married him. I think I know sean well enough to be pretty sure he doesn't just see his new wife as a servant. :roll


BTW Congratulations Sean, I will pray that the Lord will give both of you grace, peace, and fullness of joy through the power of his Spirit. :Green

Yes, and they are still at it. Some just do not like a solid stand on God's Word, they have fallen for the water down word.

[Will]

Yes, and they are still at it. Some just do not like a solid stand on God's Word, they have fallen for the water down word.

You and I must be reading completely different threads.

[speerjp1]

Congrats, Sean!

(Don't listen to the PC crowd in here. Do what the Bible says and you'll never ever go wrong! :thumb )

Just for the record: Ephesians 5:21 is addressing neither husbands nor wives, but, in the context of that passage, it is addressing folks who attend church together and how they are to treat each other in the context of fellow-laborers, not marriage. After that, wives, husbands, and children and so on are addressed individually. Always keep the Bible in context to avoid confusion.

[joyfulpraise93]

Hi Sean! Congratulations on your marriage! I understand that you and your wife want to have a godly marriage based on the Bible. Understand something important...a woman is a responder. If you love her as the Bible says you are to love her..she is going to have NO trouble being submissive and caring for you as she should. Don't expect her to be the wife she should be if you aren't the husband you should be. That's the great thing about marriage, both people working to be what the other one needs them to be. It's 100% give-give on both parts.

God bless you, and I hope that you have a beautiful and Christ-glorifying marriage! :)

[OLD fashioned preacher]

Quite interesting!! (to say the least). Having never gone back to read sean's previous posting history, I may be out of touch here - but did it ever occure to anyone that he may not express himself in print as thoroughly as in person. That's one problem with non-presonal contact, tou have to read inflection and emotion in (and may get it wrong).

That said, Congrats sean. My wife & I are still on our honeymoon (after 31 years)- the secret? - I strive to be what God expects of a husband (according to Scripture) and she strives to be what God expects of a wife. Since she is my sister in Christ, any and all passages relating to the attitude towards and interaction of Christian siblings apply to us as well. Hope she's more beautiful, wondrous, and special to you after 60 years of marriage than after 1 week.

Does this thing have a spell check? if so, where?

[Guest Guest]

Quite interesting!! (to say the least). Having never gone back to read sean's previos posting history, I may be out of touch here - but did it ever occure to anyone that he may not express himself in print as thoroughly as in person. That's one problem with non-presonal contact, tou have to read inflection and emotion in (and may get it wrong).

That said, Congrats sean. My wife & I are still on our honeymoon (after 31 years)- the secret? - I strive to be what God expects of a husband (according to Scripture) and she strives to be what God expects of a wife. Since she is my sister in Christ, any and all passages relating to the attitude towards and interaction of Christian siblings apply to us as well. Hope she's more beautiful, wondrous, and special to you after 60 years of marriage than after 1 week.

Does this thing have a spell check? if so, where?

Get Firefox 3... it comes with a built-in spell check. :smile

http://www.mozilla.com/en-US/firefox/all.html

[Kayla]

And Firefox 2.3 too for that matter... Firefox 3 isn't my fave. :bonK:

[Salyan]

Congratulations, Sean & Godsgurlie! :woohoo: