Put Your Bad Jokes Here...

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Edited March 19, 2023 by ...

[No Nicolaitans]

What rhymes with orange?

No it doesn't.

[Joe Coley]

using perverted bibles is like the man who raised chickens for a living. he had a hen setting on a nest and decided he would save money so he mixed saw dust in with his laying mash. well the hen set on twelve eggs. finally eleven of the eggs hatched and they all had wooden legs.then the 12th one hatched and he was a wood pecker.

[Pastor Matt]

My battery had an alkaline problem, so it went to AA meetings

[DaveW]

1 hour ago, BroMatt said:

My battery had an alkaline problem, so it went to AA meetings

You're a dad aren't you..........

[DaveW]

Three pieces of string were wanting a cup of coffee each.

The first one walked into the cafe and asked the barista for a cappuccino. The barista looked him up and down and said "We don't serve string here". The piece of string walked out both feeling sorry for himself.

The second poece of string walked into the cafe and asked the barista for a flat white. The barista looked him up and down and said "We don't serve string here". The piece of string walked out both feeling dejected and suffering from coffe cravings.

The third piece of string had watched this happen and formulated a plan. He unravelled his top and tied a half hitch in his middle, then walked into the cafe and asked for a latte. The barista looked him up and down, considered for a minute then said to "Are you a piece of string?"

To which the third piece of string answered, "Frayed knot"..........

[DaveW]

Two blondes are walking along in the country when they come upon some tracks.

The first blonde says "They are rabbit tracks".

The second says "No, I think they are deer tracks".

The first says "No, you are wrong. They are definitely rabbit tracks."

The second, speaking adamantly now proclaims "No, they are without doubt deer tracks".

 

Then they got hit by a train...........

[DaveW]

Two atoms meet up one day for lunch, and the first one says to the second one" So how are you?".

Atom 2: "Not feeling the best - I've lost an electron."

Atom 1: "Are you sure?"

Atom 2: "Yep. I'm Positive."

[No Nicolaitans]

I can't stop laughing at that one! 

It's all scientificky 'n such! 

[No Nicolaitans]

How many psychoanalysts does it take to change a lightbulb? 

 

None. The lightbulb must want to change itself.

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Edited March 19, 2023 by ...

[Bouncing Bill]

Did you hear about the invisible man who married the invisible woman?

 

Their children were nothing to look at.

[SureWord]

Q: What do you call a dog with no legs?

A: It doesn’t matter, it’s not going to come anyway.

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Edited March 19, 2023 by ...

[rstrats]

Lum - Where is the first cigarette mentioned in the Bible?

Abner - I don't know.

Lum - In Genesis where it says that Rebekah lit off a camel.