Prayer for my Father

[John81]

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. We had to face something similar with my Mom and choosing to reject permanent, bedridden care in a hospital in favor of hospice was not an easy thing to deal with.

Praise God your dad is ready for the journey from this life to the next.

When facing these sort of decisions we shouldn't only think of the negative aspect (such as are we killing them if we don't do _____?), but also consider if we may be thwarting God's plan to bring them home by trying every trick in the book to keep them alive, even if incapacitated.

Scripture is clear this life isn't something to be clung to, nor something to take lightly, and we know all our hours are in God's hands. Especially in the case of the believer I take comfort in the fact absent from the body means present with the Lord.

Are we trying to keep our loved ones alive longer because it's best for them or because we think it would be best for us? That's one of the ways I discussed the matter in my mind with regards to my Mom.

May God bless and keep your family and grant your mother the wisdom, peace and strength to make the best decisions and walk through this valley.

[Jim_Alaska]

Brother Mike, I and my family had to go through this very same decision making process in May concerning my brother-in-law.

The doctors were keeping him alive and comfortable, but they made it clear that what we were seeing at that time was the best he would ever be. My sister had to make the decision to take him off of the ventilator. The problem there was that she was also in the same hospital and not really able to think clearly enough to make that decision.

As a family we prayed for guidance and how to deal with the situation. Then we prayed about how to present the reality of his situation to our sister. Thank God she was able to think clearly enough to make the right decision. He was taken off of the ventilator and was able to breath on his own. They moved him to long term acre where he finally went to be with the Lord a few days later. We and my sister knew that he would never want to be kept alive at all costs, only the be vegetative in the end.

I told you all this to say that you are not alone, others have had to make the hard decisions too. Pray for guidance and wisdom for both your father as well as your mother. I will be praying here on my end for wisdom and comfort for all of the family during this time of uncertainty and pain.

Once more I remind you that I am here and can be there shortly if you need anything at all, even a sympathetic ear or prayer partner. Unfortunately My cell service it almost non-existent, so the best way to reach me quickly is email, which I check many times per day. You have my email address.

God bless and help you and yours in your time of need,

Jim

[MountainChristian]

I'm still praying for you and your family. My cousins had to let their dad go off the machines and pass over to Jesus' side Saturday. Even in the church I prayed and thought a lot about what you are going through. A few years ago I had to let my dad go. I wish so much there was something I could say that would make it easier.

[Rosie]

I went through the same thing with my Mother, we opted not to put in a feeding tube just to keep her alive... May God guide you in this decision.. God bless and be with you at this time..

[Jeny]

It is really hard when it is our parents. My father is in the hospital too, very weak and it is hard to think that he could die and leave us any moment. The posts here are very encouraging. God makes no mistakes and His way is perfect. May God comfort us all during these trying times. God bless everyone and let us pray for one another.

[Ukulelemike]

Thanks all for your kind words and shared experiences. We are at the hospital waiting to speak with the doctor. 

The weird thing is, I don't have a lot of pain for myself: I am secure in his going to glory and that I will see him again-rather my pain comes in thought of the pain of others over it, I hurt that my mother will hurt and my sister. But in all I think this time of waiting has been good, because it has helped my mother accept what's happening much better-shes no longer saying she's going to follow him immediately, but is making plans for a move to Louisiana with my sister and her husband and three strong strapping sons who will be able to see to caring for her-four good Christain young men, from 19-8. SO I am encouraged.

Thanks again all. Fellowship makes things easier to bear. 

[John81]

Thanks all for your kind words and shared experiences. We are at the hospital waiting to speak with the doctor. 

The weird thing is, I don't have a lot of pain for myself: I am secure in his going to glory and that I will see him again-rather my pain comes in thought of the pain of others over it, I hurt that my mother will hurt and my sister. But in all I think this time of waiting has been good, because it has helped my mother accept what's happening much better-shes no longer saying she's going to follow him immediately, but is making plans for a move to Louisiana with my sister and her husband and three strong strapping sons who will be able to see to caring for her-four good Christain young men, from 19-8. SO I am encouraged.

Thanks again all. Fellowship makes things easier to bear. 

Praise God even in the midst of such times our gracious Lord looks out for us and truly works all things together for good. Thank you for the update and sharing this with us so we may share in it with you.

[282Mikado]

Thank you for the updates. Continuing in prayer.

[Ukulelemike]

Final update:

   My father passed peacefully into glory yesterday about 3pm. They removed the ventilator, and his breathing slowly passed after about two hours. No struggling, no pain, I suspect he was already gone before this. My mother held his hand, while the rest of us stood by.  I didn't get it at first, but I firmly believe that my mother really needed the time to process everything as it happened, and when the time came, she was able to let him go. Last night and today she's been surrounded by my youngest sister and some of her grandchildren and great-grandchildren, (I had to come home today), going through stuff with them. She's decided to get rid of a lot of her stuff and then move with my sister in Louisiana.

Fun time: tomorrow I do a funeral for a lady from my church who passed away about a month ago-her kids are very sorry that it happened to coincide with my father's passing, but I assured them I was at peace with my dad, and am quite ready to see to their needs.

So again, thanks so much for shared experiences and love and prayers during this time. Its weird but at 51, this is the first close family loss I have experienced, so it was a new experience for me and I appreciate all the kindness.

[Jim_Alaska]

My sincere condolences to you and your family Mike. What a blessing to know he was saved.

[Rosie]

my pleasure to pray... so sorry and so happy he isn't suffering anymore... yesterday I got the news that a faithful member of my Mich church passed away and then a couple hours later my Pastors brother passed away... my condolences to your family

[Alan]

My condolences to all of you in your time of grief. May God give your mother special comfort and a peace in her heart.

"For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain." Philippians 1:21

Alan

[OLD fashioned preacher]

2Co 1:3-4 Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.

[Ukulelemike]

Thanks again for all the kind words. Here's something now for prayer that is associated with the former posts:

With my father in glory, it will take a couple months for my mother to begin to get any survivor benefits, so she'll basically be berift for a couple months; in general this isn't a big deal, there's plenty of family to see to her needs. However, she has to be out of her apartment at the end of October, and the plan is to move her to Slidell, LA, with my sister and her family. But, everyone is pretty tapped out from the whole recent ordeal.

So, asking for prayers, maybe ideas, for getting her there. My hope is, if my Bronco gets done in time, to pull my trailer with her necessities out there, while she drives with my wife in her van-this will save a lot, in not having to rent a truck and fly her out there. But money is still an issue, so please, prayer that the Lord will provide. Thanks, all!

[John81]

Praying the Lord will grant wisdom and provision to meet these needs.