Inconsistency

[Salyan]

2B had posted something in another thread that I'd really like to discuss. In order not to hijack that thread, I've brought it over here.
 

My pastor definitely will preach dress standards from time to time, and also hair standards, but would never say a word, nor does anyone in our church say a word to any ladies or men who come in wearing pants or inappropriate hair style for their gender.  The only time I have ever heard my pastor say anything to someone in the congregation about appearance was when he asked one visitor to please cover his highly pornographic tattoos that were up and down his arm.  My pastor does hold those that are in an active ministry to the highest standard he preaches on, so any staff members must wear appropriate attire to the highest standard.  However, I know that our youth pastors daughters, while they always wear dresses and skirts to church or any church function are in pants often in public.  To my knowledge, nothing has been said to him. 

 

This business about pastors preaching dress standards but not requiring it of their own daughters is something I have noticed before.I've seen it where the leader of a Christian camp will be enforcing a dress standard of the camp visitors when his own daughters are pushing the limits.  It is a huge inconsistency, and it really bugs me.  Do these pastors actually believe what they are teaching, or not? 

[HappyChristian]

Agreed, it is an inconsistency.  And shameful. Either follow what you (generic) teach/preach, or shut up. 

[2bLikeJesus]

2B had posted something in another thread that I'd really like to discuss. In order not to hijack that thread, I've brought it over here.
 

 

 

This business about pastors preaching dress standards but not requiring it of their own daughters is something I have noticed before.I've seen it where the leader of a Christian camp will be enforcing a dress standard of the camp visitors when his own daughters are pushing the limits.  It is a huge inconsistency, and it really bugs me.  Do these pastors actually believe what they are teaching, or not? 

In our case, the worker is not a pastor, we don't have a paid staff youth pastor, he is just a Sunday school teacher for the teens (for over 22 yrs now) .  Also his daughters are all adults now over the age of 25.  I have never seen his wife in anything but dresses and skirts in public including at work and she works 40 hours a week on a u-pick farm.  None of my pastor's, or my associate pastor's daughters own a single pair of pants, or a dress or skirt that is even slightly questionable as to its modesty, to the best of my knowledge.  I just don't think he would remove a Sunday school worker for an indiscretion by his adult children who are no longer in his household. 

 

Bro. Garry

[Salyan]

Okay, that makes sense in the situation you mentioned, 2B. When you're dealing with adult children who have left the home, that's a different matter. But I have seen pastors with teenage daughters still at home who are allowed to push the envelope on the standards their fathers enforce elsewhere.

[Miss Daisy]

I was thinking along the same lines as Saylan when read the other post also. Adult daughters are a different story. I assumed they were young.

[John81]

I've seen this sort of thing cut both ways on the matter too.

 

Preachers, and some individuals in churches too, preach and give out rebukes regarding dress standards, yet their own wives and/or daughters are not held to those same standards.

 

Not only is this a prOBlem with young daughters at home, but also sometimes extends to adult daughters in the way their parents/preacher deals with them. While it's true they can't rule the daughter once she's moved out, they can give the same rebuke to their daughter and they can refuse to accept a daughters immodest dress. Instead, what I've seen many times is a daughter who was made to dress modestly while living at home goes to college and not only starts dressing immodestly, but very immodestly. The parents (whether they like it or not) go along with it, bringing them to church in their immodest dress, going out to eat and other places with them dressed very immodestly, smiling and taking pictures with them in their very immodest attire. All of this shows approval, whether that's their intention or not, and yet so many of these will still chide others for the dress of their daughters.

 

I've not always agreed with what my daughter wears since she moved out, but she's never worn anything very immodest. If she did, I would let her know that's why I wouldn't attend an event with her, or take pictures with her, or go out in public with her.

 

I'm the same way with my sons. When our oldest son called once and was using some rather coarse language (not outright cussing, but bad enough) I told him he would either talk decently or the phone would be hung up. Sure, he's of age, on his own, but I still expect him to show respect (especially towards his mother) and I'm not going to condone bad behaviour by ignoring it or going along.

[1Timothy115]

I can't make anyone think 'modest' in their wearing of apparel. I can let them know that women (I can't speak for women about men) who dress immodestly may be a pitfall for men.

[John81]

I can't make anyone think 'modest' in their wearing of apparel. I can let them know that women (I can't speak for women about men) who dress immodestly may be a pitfall for men.

​The growing trend seems to be for women to say that's the men's problem and the men need to deal with their sins rather than women needing to dress differently.

[MountainChristian]

I don't think I've ever heard a woman at church say "That man's shirt/pants are indecent." I've heard them say, if he must wear a tee shirt on Wednesday it should be plain or have a Christian graphic. I'd like to know if men stumble over the sin of lust more than women. 

 

There is one inconsistency at my church, the women do almost all the cooking. Tonight the men are cooking for the women, I'm sick with some kind of bug/sinus infection so I'm staying home. All the other suppers and dinners the women cook. They cook all the meals for families who have a death. 

 

[Salyan]

The women might not say it, but they think it on occasion. I think women struggle more with inappropriate emotional attachments than visual lust, though.

[John81]

The women might not say it, but they think it on occasion. I think women struggle more with inappropriate emotional attachments than visual lust, though.

​That's consistent with what I've heard Christian women say.

[1Timothy115]

​The growing trend seems to be for women to say that's the men's problem and the men need to deal with their sins rather than women needing to dress differently.

​Women can be a pitfall for we men but, we Christians have to take responsibility beyond the casual 'noticing' the immodesty. If we dwell on it then it is our responsibility to take it to the Lord and get the Lord's strength to keep it from becoming sin. Satan's battle for the soul is first won or lost in the mind.

[John81]

​Women can be a pitfall for we men but, we Christians have to take responsibility beyond the casual 'noticing' the immodesty. If we dwell on it then it is our responsibility to take it to the Lord and get the Lord's strength to keep it from becoming sin. Satan's battle for the soul is first won or lost in the mind.

​Absolutely! Tina Tiny Dress might cause all eyes to notice her but it's up to us what we dwell upon, what we do with our eyes afterward, what our thoughts and prayers will be.

At the same time, Tina Tiny Dress is responsible for her choice of dress and being a potential stumbling block and tool of temptation.

Whether we allow ourselves to be an agent of temptation or we are the one facing temptation, we are called to recognize such and rightly deal with it.

In my early 30s I worked a job where we men wore jeans. I had never given a thought about the jeans I wore beyond whether they fit or not. Then one day I overheard some women talking about how they liked how I looked in my jeans and especially how good it was (to them) on the rare occasions I wore the one and only pair of black jeans I had. That was the first time I had heard women talking like that.

When I went home that night I told my wife I wanted to buy a different style of pants to wear to work so we went out and I bought what's usually called "carpenters pants". These pants are looser fitting and that's the type of jeans I've worn since that time.