Long Distance friendships

[JerryNumbers]

Rachel I didn't think your post was uninteresting! LOL.... I'm glad you might have some local friends to hang out with! Especially in a newer church, it takes awhile to get "into" things sometimes.

BTW I forgot what town you live in? You can PM me if you want....

Matie it must be hard being so far away! I guess mentally the distance is harder because you can't just jump in the car and drive somewhere. I feel like I'm so far away from everybody I know too sometimes....and my family, especially my dad, aren't particularly affectionate and doting LOL so I try to just not expect close family communications. They are saved, just not the communicating type, and there are a few other issues. And all my good friends are long distance too.

I have friends here but not really anybody "close" (esp with the preachers wife thing going on LOL) and not anybody you just wanna drop everything and grab lunch with. There is a real nice older lady that I chat with alot online and she has a shore home in NJ and invited me there for a night or two but unfortunately she has cats which I am highly allergic to. :-(

But hey I guess we are all friends here right! And we all get online and chat regularly!!!! We need an OB reunion someday...we've talked about it in the past just jokingly but we should start planning like two years in advance and have a real one! (Then go home and decide we really don't like the real people behind the avatars....LOL!)

:uuhm:

[deafnva77]

LOL (I'm so not meeting kitagrl.. afraid she won't like me JK)

[Anon]

LOL no you don't understand...I say that because I would be worried the whole time that everybody was thinking, "You mean THAT is that 'Kitagrl'? Oh my word, I can't believe I even chat with her....ugh." haha.

[matie-k]

I was thinking about me ( :roll :Green ) this morning and realized that I'm quite insecure about friendships sometimes. For instance, recently a friend and I had some relationship problems, and then got it ironed out, but then I didn't hear from her almost all summer, and I figured she must have decided I wasn't worth the trouble, and thought I don't blame her at all cuz I don't much like myself either! I'm amazed any of my friends like me much.

Another problem I have is that I have a REALLY REALLY hard time making new deep friendships. Most of my deepest friendships are from way back, and I feel like my newer friends don't really know me well and that I sort of fake familiarity with them. I have such a hard time relaxing and being myself around new friends. This is a great frustration for me when dealing with the Chinese people because I KNOW I'm not very warm and approachable (quite the opposite actually), but I have such a hard time relaxing around them. I have a few close friends back home who are praying for me to find a close friend here in China, but I think it would take a major miracle for that to happen! I have a hard enough time connecting with people of my own culture much less a culture that's as far opposite as can be. sigh! :roll

[Salyan]

I was thinking about me ( :roll :Green ) this morning and realized that I'm quite insecure about friendships sometimes. For instance' date=' recently a friend and I had some relationship problems, and then got it ironed out, but then I didn't hear from her almost all summer, and I figured she must have decided I wasn't worth the trouble, and thought I don't blame her at all cuz I don't much like myself either! I'm amazed any of my friends like me much. [/quote']

Oh, Katie, you sound just like me! (And having said that, I feel thoroughly sorry for you...) :sad

I wonder of lots of us suffer from such microanalysis of friendships?

[Anon]

*Raises hand* ME! ME!!! haha.

[HappyChristian]

LOL no you don't understand...I say that because I would be worried the whole time that everybody was thinking' date=' "You mean THAT is that 'Kitagrl'? Oh my word, I can't believe I even chat with her....ugh." haha.[/quote']
Oh, well, if that's what you're worried about, I could just pm people.... j/k!!!

I think the majority of women over analyse our friendships! I know when I meet someone for the first time I am concerned with laughing too loud, talking too much (which I tend to do at times) or even not talking enough and making the other person uncomfortable with not knowing what to talk about!!!

I think an OB meeting would be great! It would put personalities to posters, and that would be fun.

Katie - I understand your concerns about making a close friend. Being in a foreign country is hard enough without that kind of lack. Will be praying with you about it!

[Anon]

Its really too bad, isn't it...guys can just get hooked up with a bunch of people they don't know and start talking sports or hunting or fishing or cars.... and all is cool.

Women, when with people they don't know, eye each other for awhile and make tense small talk.

Isn't it AWFUL!!!!!!!!!

[Bakershalfdozen]

Ya'll have been reading my mail, haven't you? :frog I am so tense and nervous about new friendships. I'm not talkative anyway unless I am super comfortable with the person. I haven't had a really close (in person, I mean; not online) gal pal since 2003. I'd love to be able to go out with another woman w/o the children once in awhile just to chat, shop or eat Mexican food. :lol:

[HappyChristian]

Ya'll have been reading my mail' date=' haven't you? :frog I am so tense and nervous about new friendships. I'm not talkative anyway unless I am super comfortable with the person. I haven't had a really close (in person, I mean; not online) gal pal since 2003. I'd love to be able to go out with another woman w/o the children once in awhile just to chat, shop or eat Mexican food. [/quote']
I know a really nice Mexican restaurant just down the road...think your hubby will watch the kids? :Green

Seriously, I hear you. But at the same time, I am so busy, other women are so busy - who has the time for something like that? I enjoy the time I am able to spend with my hubby now that our son is gone (although he will be home SOON!!! ). I do have a friend that I could really enjoy spending a bit of time with, and we have some. But she's getting ready to have baby #8, so time's limited with her. *sigh*

[Anon]

Everybody is so busy...but why can't we make time for friends? I think that's half the problem with Christians anymore, we are all "too busy" for each other. The NT church centered around fellowship. Seems like today, all we have time for is MAYBE squeeze in church, and ten minutes of chatting afterwards.

It is hard to open up to others...and then sometimes I feel like when I finally have opened up to some people, deciding "I think we'd make good friends" they either evidently don't feel the same way, and don't open up back....or in our church, a few have ended up moving away before we could get to know each other well enough.

I think my "best friend" here in this church is a very sweet lady, in her early 70's, who plays the piano and has no children or grandchildren.... but I'm allergic to her houseful of cats and she goes to the shore with her husband most weeks so we just chat online as if we lived far away. LOL.

[HappyChristian]

Everybody is so busy...but why can't we make time for friends? I think that's half the problem with Christians anymore, we are all "too busy" for each other. The NT church centered around fellowship. Seems like today, all we have time for is MAYBE squeeze in church, and ten minutes of chatting afterwards.

Yep! :goodpost:

[Anon]

I've complained about that here (it was easier down south I think to have outside friendships) but everybody is so busy with jobs and family that I've been here 6 years and I still don't know of too many in our church who actually do things with each other when the church doors aren't open! We've even been guilty of just not having time to invite people over as much as we'd like and etc....and even if you do, its hard sometimes to schedule something.

Too bad isn't it.

[HappyChristian]

It is too bad, Kita! We have such a small house that it's hard to have company. So we generally take people out to dinner or meet them somewhere like the park of library. Not always real great, but the best we can do.

[deafnva77]

does your church have a ladies group?