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Kitagrl

Long Distance friendships

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Some of my best friends are long distance....unfortunately, I seem to be the only computer geek that actually LIKES communicating online on a regular basis. So sometimes I get to feeling pretty lonely.

Anyone else like a major communication freak and get frustrated when it seems like nobody else does?

Even my family....they rarely email or call but if I don't email them for awhile they complain I never email. :roll If I didn't message my brother, I wouldn't speak to him for months at a time. If I didn't call my sister, I would be at the mercy of her memory to call me. LOL. If I didnt' bug my friends online, who knows how often we'd talk, if ever (and sometimes we still don't if they are unavailable).

Sometimes I just feel like maybe nobody likes me anyway and maybe I should just leave everybody alone and stop bugging them! LOL (And no I'm not talking about chat boards, I'm talking about my own personal friends and family). Does anyone ever feel like this sometimes? Or is it just melancholy Kitagrl? haha.... Sometimes I try to analyze my life and see if maybe I'm not seeing myself as I really am...maybe I'm just a big obnoxious person and everybody is too nice to tell me. :ha

Can you tell I'm lonely and frustrated today? :lol I'll be over it..... and I'm glad you guys are around! You know...I have to say....back when I had a couple good friends to shop with and play Friday night games and eat pizza with...I took it so for granted....I'm learning not to take things for granted....because someday you may not have that anymore and you will really wish you had known how "lucky" you were at the time when you DID have those blessings in your life. So...what I do need to do is look around me and find my current blessings...and I know I have them!!!! But once in awhile every girl needs a good buddy and sometimes I miss that dearly. You know...somebody to miss you when you are away, or seek you out to chat....or suggest lunch....or just want to hang out on the phone for an hour while you clean the kitchen or something. *sigh*
:smile

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I've been in similar situations in the past. Friends and family would rarely take the initiative to contact me, but if I went what they thought was too long in contacting them, many of them would be sure to tell me about it when I finally did call or write. :roll :lol:

In some cases I think people just come to expect that "we" are going to make contact with them so they just wait for us to do so instead of taking the initiative themselves to send that letter, make that call, or write that e-mail themselves.

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one thing I noticed about people is they want to hear from certain people and not just anyone.

Like my cousin who wrote forgotten on his myspace. I send him messages all the time, but he doesn't reply. His mother does too. I asked his mother about this "forgotten" thing, she said his dad haven't been calling him.. Then she began to vent out how she would call him all the time.. but when he call, it was always for his dad. (she was the one who raised him. His dad just came into the picture about 5 years ago). She feels forgotten by her own son.. and her son feel forgotten by his dad.

I noticed this in nursing homes as well. you have residents who tell me they are lonely. But there are like 60 of them who are lonely as well but they won't talk to each other to keep each other company. What they are really lonely for is their family who they love.

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I have one good friend I email often. She lives in another state. I don't write her as often as I should. Most of my family doesn't have email...both of my brothers do, but my younger brother doesn't keep in touch with any of us unless I call and he happens to be home to answer the phone. My older brother emails once in a blue moon, but we talk on the phone a lot - usually for at least 1 1/2 hours or more at a time!! Usually his nickel! :wink

I lost contact with a really good friend of many years. She moved, and I didn't get her address or phone number. We were emailing, but then my email account got corrupted or something and I can't access it anymore (happened several months ago). So I lost her email address. She was getting ready to get remarried, so I don't have a last name, either. It bothers me - we've known each other almost 25 years, and I really hated losing touch. Maybe one of these days she'll call me.

Kita - you can email me anytime, and I'll respond! :thumb

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Yall can email me :smile My sisters dont contact me unless they have to over business issues with the family Ranch. I used to have contact with a few police friends on the other side of the state. We dont keep in contact anymore. I would like to but they seem to busy. One of them is a commander for a Sheriff's Office by Salem OR so I only see him on TV. :lol:

You all are my long distance friends and is wonderful to fellowship with you. :clap:

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Kitagirl, I feel just the same way that you do. I am online a lot and it seems like fewer and fewer people ever want to talk to me, even my own family and my friends in another state. My DH and I moved to NC over a year ago and I miss my best friend and her DH more than I can bear sometimes. My best friend calls me a lot and I call her, which is wonderful, but, and I know this is weird, but I love to talk on the MSN messenger, and I hear from very few people any more. I used to talk with my friends on the messenger and I mentioned to her that I miss that, but she says she would rather call me. She doesn't type very well so I guess calling is easier for her.
My sister and I talk back and forth on e-mail which is great, but I still like messenger better. It is more personal. I guess I am the nut case. I know everyone is busy, so I try not to let it bother me, but I would nearly laugh myself off my chair watching my family and friends teasing each other on the messenger. When they get wound up they are very funny! I have enough to keep me busy too, here at home. I have lots of hobbies and household chores to keep me busy, but they can't take the place of a friend to talk to or to go somewhere with. And, living way out in the country doesn't help much either. My DH is a wonderful guy, but he is not a shopper or a conversationalist.
Kitagirl, you can e-mail or messenger me anytime and hopefully I won't bore you too much. Hee hee.
CJP56.

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Kitagirl, I feel just the same way that you do. I am online a lot and it seems like fewer and fewer people ever want to talk to me, even my own family and my friends in another state. My DH and I moved to NC over a year ago and I miss my best friend and her DH more than I can bear sometimes. My best friend calls me a lot and I call her, which is wonderful, but, and I know this is weird, but I love to talk on the MSN messenger, and I hear from very few people any more. I used to talk with my friends on the messenger and I mentioned to her that I miss that, but she says she would rather call me. She doesn't type very well so I guess calling is easier for her.
My sister and I talk back and forth on e-mail which is great, but I still like messenger better. It is more personal. I guess I am the nut case. I know everyone is busy, so I try not to let it bother me, but I would nearly laugh myself off my chair watching my family and friends teasing each other on the messenger. When they get wound up they are very funny! I have enough to keep me busy too, here at home. I have lots of hobbies and household chores to keep me busy, but they can't take the place of a friend to talk to or to go somewhere with. And, living way out in the country doesn't help much either. My DH is a wonderful guy, but he is not a shopper or a conversationalist.
Kitagirl, you can e-mail or messenger me anytime and hopefully I won't bore you too much. Hee hee.
CJP56.


LOL you can msg me anytime too! I don't even mind phone calls (with close friends or family) but I rarely even get that unless I call first. I feel like some of the best friends I've ever had in the world are no longer "best friends" due to the distance, and our lives drifting apart. Of course my husband but husbands just don't do the "girl talk" thing! haha. I know I get busy too but sometimes its just fun to have someone who I can talk on the phone while I work...I do that with my sister sometimes but she can't do that as much so doesn't. I have one lady in the church that we MSN quite alot in the evenings so that is nice...but with her I do have to watch what I say since she is a church member...you know, no gossip. LOL.

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Some of my best friends are long distance....unfortunately, I seem to be the only computer geek that actually LIKES communicating online on a regular basis. So sometimes I get to feeling pretty lonely.

Anyone else like a major communication freak and get frustrated when it seems like nobody else does?

Even my family....they rarely email or call but if I don't email them for awhile they complain I never email. :roll If I didn't message my brother, I wouldn't speak to him for months at a time. If I didn't call my sister, I would be at the mercy of her memory to call me. LOL. If I didnt' bug my friends online, who knows how often we'd talk, if ever (and sometimes we still don't if they are unavailable).

Sometimes I just feel like maybe nobody likes me anyway and maybe I should just leave everybody alone and stop bugging them! LOL (And no I'm not talking about chat boards, I'm talking about my own personal friends and family). Does anyone ever feel like this sometimes? Or is it just melancholy Kitagrl? haha.... Sometimes I try to analyze my life and see if maybe I'm not seeing myself as I really am...maybe I'm just a big obnoxious person and everybody is too nice to tell me. :ha

Can you tell I'm lonely and frustrated today? :lol I'll be over it..... and I'm glad you guys are around! You know...I have to say....back when I had a couple good friends to shop with and play Friday night games and eat pizza with...I took it so for granted....I'm learning not to take things for granted....because someday you may not have that anymore and you will really wish you had known how "lucky" you were at the time when you DID have those blessings in your life. So...what I do need to do is look around me and find my current blessings...and I know I have them!!!! But once in awhile every girl needs a good buddy and sometimes I miss that dearly. You know...somebody to miss you when you are away, or seek you out to chat....or suggest lunch....or just want to hang out on the phone for an hour while you clean the kitchen or something. *sigh*
:smile


LOL it's funny, but we are so much alike! I have felt like this so many times.

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I feel better! Sayyyy you should get on MSN sometime. ;-)

I still get frustrated at church sometimes....I guess you only come across bosom buddies a few times in life and there aren't any here yet....so sometimes I get bummed....but then I get over it for while until the next moody time. haha.

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Well, all of my friends and family are long distance. But I must be blessed because I'm usually in some sort of communication with atleast one of them whether it's via email, msn messenger, or rare phone calls. There have been times when it seems they are more busy than usual and it's less frequent, but then there are times that I'm also more busy and don't communicate with them as well either. I have been a little frustrated with my immediate family at times because it seems they forget to tell me the "news" from back home, and I hear about new babies, engagements, weddings, etc. 4 months after they happen! But my mil has decided recently that she's going to call us weekly, and so that should greatly reduce that problem! Generally speaking though, I don't like talking on the phone very often unless I'm very comfortable with the person. I have had times in the past where I've felt very isolated from family and friends here when they are especially busy - the only problem is that it usually falls during holiday times when I'm especially lonely. :roll

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I feel better! Sayyyy you should get on MSN sometime. ;-)

I still get frustrated at church sometimes....I guess you only come across bosom buddies a few times in life and there aren't any here yet....so sometimes I get bummed....but then I get over it for while until the next moody time. haha.


I have had "kindred spirit" friends who were taht way until they moved away or got married/had kids and then they just seemed to drop off the face of the earth! :P I tried to keep in touch, but you get so tired of it when you're the only one doing the calling/writing/visiting. After a while you just feel like you wish they'd think of you once in a while. LOL is that selfish or WHAT??

I have met some really nice people at church, and one gal who I hit it off with really well, but she has a 2 year old son and is home with him all the time. It's hard for her to have time to chat. I'm hoping once my boy is born and toddling around we might be able to get together more often.

Also one of my old friend from back when I was 16 (she was my brother's girlfriend at the time) apparently lives 2 miles from my house!! We met by accident at the local library and that was incredible! I hadn't spoken with her for years but the kindredness was still there. :) We have yet to get together because I've been sick so much lately. BOTHER!

Sometimes you just ache for a really really good friend, but they're so few and far between. Then when you find one and get really excited about it you're worried about driving them away because you're so excited so you back off a bit. LOL!

One of my friends (I'd consider her my best one since I was 11) has just recently started calling me again. SHe got married 3 years ago and pretty much just stopped calling anyone. I think she's now beginning to realize that even though you're married you still need girlfriends. The other day I saw she had called my cell and I'd missed it. I was scared to listen to the voicemail because I thought for sure something horrible must have happened for her to call me....here she was just calling to see how I was doing! She had not done that for 2-3 years! I called her back just to thank her for calling me. :P

Sometimes I feel like I'm just silly about friendships, but I really care about how people feel towards me. If I know someone doesn't like me I try soooo hard to make them like me. LOL I love close friendships and talking with people I'm not afraid to open up to. Long-distance friendships take work and a caring heart...and well, I admit as much as I'm willing to give to it, it's hard to find someone that also feels that way. My sister-in-law calls me almost every day and that's awesome. She's really great to talk to, even though we disagree on some things. It's beena joy to see her grow in the Lord.

LOL so I wrote a super long and rambly uninteresting post. :P You don't have to read it if you don't want to. :P

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LOL so I wrote a super long and rambly uninteresting post. :P You don't have to read it if you don't want to


don't you think that by the time I get to the bottom, it's alittle too late for that? :Bleh

btw, been there, done that. So I know what it is like.

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Rachel I didn't think your post was uninteresting! LOL.... I'm glad you might have some local friends to hang out with! Especially in a newer church, it takes awhile to get "into" things sometimes.

BTW I forgot what town you live in? You can PM me if you want....

Matie it must be hard being so far away! I guess mentally the distance is harder because you can't just jump in the car and drive somewhere. I feel like I'm so far away from everybody I know too sometimes....and my family, especially my dad, aren't particularly affectionate and doting LOL so I try to just not expect close family communications. They are saved, just not the communicating type, and there are a few other issues. And all my good friends are long distance too.

I have friends here but not really anybody "close" (esp with the preachers wife thing going on LOL) and not anybody you just wanna drop everything and grab lunch with. There is a real nice older lady that I chat with alot online and she has a shore home in NJ and invited me there for a night or two but unfortunately she has cats which I am highly allergic to. :-(

But hey I guess we are all friends here right! And we all get online and chat regularly!!!! We need an OB reunion someday...we've talked about it in the past just jokingly but we should start planning like two years in advance and have a real one! (Then go home and decide we really don't like the real people behind the avatars....LOL!)

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Rachel I didn't think your post was uninteresting! LOL.... I'm glad you might have some local friends to hang out with! Especially in a newer church, it takes awhile to get "into" things sometimes.

BTW I forgot what town you live in? You can PM me if you want....

Matie it must be hard being so far away! I guess mentally the distance is harder because you can't just jump in the car and drive somewhere. I feel like I'm so far away from everybody I know too sometimes....and my family, especially my dad, aren't particularly affectionate and doting LOL so I try to just not expect close family communications. They are saved, just not the communicating type, and there are a few other issues. And all my good friends are long distance too.

I have friends here but not really anybody "close" (esp with the preachers wife thing going on LOL) and not anybody you just wanna drop everything and grab lunch with. There is a real nice older lady that I chat with alot online and she has a shore home in NJ and invited me there for a night or two but unfortunately she has cats which I am highly allergic to. :-(

But hey I guess we are all friends here right! And we all get online and chat regularly!!!! We need an OB reunion someday...we've talked about it in the past just jokingly but we should start planning like two years in advance and have a real one! (Then go home and decide we really don't like the real people behind the avatars....LOL!)

:eek :uuhm:

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LOL no you don't understand...I say that because I would be worried the whole time that everybody was thinking, "You mean THAT is that 'Kitagrl'? Oh my word, I can't believe I even chat with her....ugh." haha.

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I was thinking about me ( :roll :Green ) this morning and realized that I'm quite insecure about friendships sometimes. For instance, recently a friend and I had some relationship problems, and then got it ironed out, but then I didn't hear from her almost all summer, and I figured she must have decided I wasn't worth the trouble, and thought I don't blame her at all cuz I don't much like myself either! I'm amazed any of my friends like me much.

Another problem I have is that I have a REALLY REALLY hard time making new deep friendships. Most of my deepest friendships are from way back, and I feel like my newer friends don't really know me well and that I sort of fake familiarity with them. I have such a hard time relaxing and being myself around new friends. This is a great frustration for me when dealing with the Chinese people because I KNOW I'm not very warm and approachable (quite the opposite actually), but I have such a hard time relaxing around them. I have a few close friends back home who are praying for me to find a close friend here in China, but I think it would take a major miracle for that to happen! I have a hard enough time connecting with people of my own culture much less a culture that's as far opposite as can be. sigh! :bonk: :roll

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I was thinking about me ( :roll :Green ) this morning and realized that I'm quite insecure about friendships sometimes. For instance' date=' recently a friend and I had some relationship problems, and then got it ironed out, but then I didn't hear from her almost all summer, and I figured she must have decided I wasn't worth the trouble, and thought I don't blame her at all cuz I don't much like myself either! I'm amazed any of my friends like me much. [/quote']

Oh, Katie, you sound just like me! :badday: (And having said that, I feel thoroughly sorry for you...) :sad :lol:

I wonder of lots of us suffer from such microanalysis of friendships?

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LOL no you don't understand...I say that because I would be worried the whole time that everybody was thinking' date=' "You mean THAT is that 'Kitagrl'? Oh my word, I can't believe I even chat with her....ugh." haha.[/quote']
Oh, well, if that's what you're worried about, I could just pm people.... :lol: j/k!!!

I think the majority of women over analyse our friendships! I know when I meet someone for the first time I am concerned with laughing too loud, talking too much (which I tend to do at times) or even not talking enough and making the other person uncomfortable with not knowing what to talk about!!!

I think an OB meeting would be great! It would put personalities to posters, and that would be fun.

Katie - I understand your concerns about making a close friend. Being in a foreign country is hard enough without that kind of lack. Will be praying with you about it!

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Its really too bad, isn't it...guys can just get hooked up with a bunch of people they don't know and start talking sports or hunting or fishing or cars.... and all is cool.

Women, when with people they don't know, eye each other for awhile and make tense small talk.

Isn't it AWFUL!!!!!!!!!

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Ya'll have been reading my mail, haven't you? :frog I am so tense and nervous about new friendships. I'm not talkative anyway unless I am super comfortable with the person. I haven't had a really close (in person, I mean; not online) gal pal since 2003. I'd love to be able to go out with another woman w/o the children once in awhile just to chat, shop or eat Mexican food. :lol:

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Ya'll have been reading my mail' date=' haven't you? :frog I am so tense and nervous about new friendships. I'm not talkative anyway unless I am super comfortable with the person. I haven't had a really close (in person, I mean; not online) gal pal since 2003. I'd love to be able to go out with another woman w/o the children once in awhile just to chat, shop or eat Mexican food. :lol:[/quote']
I know a really nice Mexican restaurant just down the road...think your hubby will watch the kids? :Green

Seriously, I hear you. But at the same time, I am so busy, other women are so busy - who has the time for something like that? I enjoy the time I am able to spend with my hubby now that our son is gone (although he will be home SOON!!! :clap: ). I do have a friend that I could really enjoy spending a bit of time with, and we have some. But she's getting ready to have baby #8, so time's limited with her. *sigh*

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