So....I got married

[BibleBeliever123]

Last Wednesday (July 23rd, 2008) godsgurlie_077 and I got married.

We had a very private wedding. Didn't want anything too fancy in considering the judgment seat of Christ; regarding stewardship of finances.

She will be a Biblical keeper AT the home. In contrast to:

1 Tim 5:13
13And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not.

Not some idle woman at home.

Interestingly enough The Bible describes the whorish woman as one who:

Prov 7:11
11(She is loud and stubborn; her feet abide not in her house:


My wife is meek and quiet:

1 Pet 3:1-7
1Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;

2While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.

3Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;

4But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.

5For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:

6Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.

7Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

She knows how to clean; do dishes and iron.

She knows how to cook quite well.

She will also learn how to sew.

Lord-willing if He blesses us with children she will also homeschool them.


Any other ideas?



Thank you very much.

Praise be to God for blessing me with this wife that I did not deserve.

[dwayner79]

Any other ideas?

On what exactly? How to be condescending and chauvinistic?

My only fear is that marriages like this survive solely because the wife is taught that submission means subservient, and out of a fear of God, and often fear of husband, she submits to that.

I do agree with you though... from the sounds of this post, you hardly deserve her.

This post should have referenced Ephesians 5:25ff, Col 3:19, and I Peter 3:7... those passages should give you some ideas.

[kevinmiller]

Congratulations on your marriage. I would strongly suggest that you do consider what Dwayne said, though. I was kind of taken back by your post, since it isn't exactly what I was expecting from a newlywed.

[Guest Guest]

Last Wednesday (July 23rd' date=' 2008) godsgurlie_077 and I got married.[/quote']


Congratulations to both of you on you marriage. :thumb I pray that the Lord will bless both of you so that you may carry out "The Great Commission". May Christ be with you, both. :Bible:

[HappyChristian]

Well, congratulations! We are getting ready to celebrate 22 years, and I do have some ideas...

1. Love your wife as Christ did the church...Christ died for the church - are you willing to die for her? Are you willing to live your life in such a way that she will know you love her? Loving her is so much more than just making sure she walks a straight line.

2. Dwell with her according to knowledge...get to know who she really is, and cherish her for herself.

3. Tell her you love her - often.
Show her that you do - give her flowers or cards or things like that occasionally. Finances can be figured so that you can give her gifts. As a man, you may not understand what that can do for a woman...and she may tell you now that she doesn't want them, but she will cherish the fact that you think of her. You, as the leader, need to continue to woo her. You caught her - now you need to keep her with love.

4. I have to agree with Dwayne - you need to stop being so condescending. Do you realize that you basically said that any woman who works outside her home is whorish? That is so unscriptural and non-compassionate it isn't funny.

A good book for husbands is Reforming Marriage by Douglas Wilson. It might be a good idea to read it. Also, John R. Rice's book on marriage.

To be honest Sean, your post didn't sound too loving toward your wife. Did you marry a companion or a servant? Yes, she is to serve you - but you are to serve her as well. Are you ready to do that?

[Will]

Eph 5:21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.

Eph 5:25-26 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; (26) That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,

Eph 5:28-32 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. (29) For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: (30) For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. (31) For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. (32) This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

Bible Believer's Commentary:

Ephesians 5:25 If the foregoing instructions to wives stood alone, if there were no correspondingly high instructions to husbands, then the presentation would be one-sided, if not unfair. But notice the beautiful balance of truth in the Scriptures, and the corresponding standard they require of the husbands. Husbands are not told to keep their wives in subjection; they are told to love their wives just as Christ also loved the church. It has been well said that no wife would mind being submissive to a husband who loves her as much as Christ loves the church. Someone wrote of a man who feared he was displeasing God by loving his wife too much. A Christian worker asked him if he loved her more than Christ loved the church. He said no. ?Only when you go beyond that,? said the worker, ?are you loving your wife too much.? Christ's love for the church is presented here in three majestic movements extending from the past to the present to the future. In the past, He demonstrated His love for the church by giving Himself for her. This refers to His sacrificial death on the cross. There He paid the greatest price in order to purchase a Bride for Himself. Just as Eve was brought forth from the side of Adam, so, in a sense, the church was created from the wounded side of the Savior.

Col 3:19-23 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them. (20) Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. (21) Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. (22) Servants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh; not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but in singleness of heart, fearing God: (23) And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;

Bible Believer's Commentary:

3:19 The balance which is presented to us in the word of God is beautiful. The apostle does not stop with this advice to wives; he now goes on to show that husbands, too, have a responsibility. They are to love their wives, and not to be bitter toward them. If these simple precepts were followed, many of the problems of married life would disappear, and homes would be happier in the Lord. Actually no wife would be likely to object to submitting to a husband who truly loves her. It has been noted that the husband is not told to make his wife obey him. If she does not, he should take it to the Lord. The submission should be her voluntary act ?as is fitting in the Lord.?

1Pe 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

[JerryNumbers]

Last Wednesday (July 23rd, 2008) godsgurlie_077 and I got married.

We had a very private wedding. Didn't want anything too fancy in considering the judgment seat of Christ; regarding stewardship of finances.

She will be a Biblical keeper AT the home. In contrast to:

1 Tim 5:13
13And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not.

Not some idle woman at home.

Interestingly enough The Bible describes the whorish woman as one who:

Prov 7:11
11(She is loud and stubborn; her feet abide not in her house:


My wife is meek and quiet:

1 Pet 3:1-7
1Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;

2While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.

3Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;

4But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.

5For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:

6Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.

7Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

She knows how to clean; do dishes and iron.

She knows how to cook quite well.

She will also learn how to sew.

Lord-willing if He blesses us with children she will also homeschool them.


Any other ideas?



Thank you very much.

Praise be to God for blessing me with this wife that I did not deserve.

Congratulations, I hope you 2 have a long prosperous marriage.

Maybe I'm dense, but I did not take your post as some seem to have. I took it that the 2 of you have talked this over and you both want to have a home that is based on God's Word & His ways.

Remember, there are always going to be those who try to beat up on those who try their best to trust & obey God in all of His ways. When this happens just keep your eyes on God. After all He is the one your trying to please.

[Danny Carlton]

My wife and I have been married over 15 years and what we've seen is that the church so often plays lip service to what scripture says, then does the opposite. The Bible is very clear on what Sean said, and he's not being condescending saying it. I've met very few women who really, truly submit to their husbands, but plenty who claim they do. The truth is if a woman isn't working at letting her husband take the lead, she will eventually be taking the lead.

Stick to the Bible Sean, and don't let worldy compromise get in the way. Acknowledging the truth of the Bible is never condescending.

[kevinmiller]

I don't suppose it's too difficult to say those kinds of things when you're a man.
I would have far too much respect for my wife to say the things he did. I can't even imagine going to someone and telling them that I got married and, instead of telling how beautiful and sweet she is, listing off how well she cleans dishes and cooks and takes care of the house. Was it a marriage contract or a work contract? :eek

[Guest Guest]

I don't suppose it's too difficult to say those kinds of things when you're a man.
I would have far too much respect for my wife to say the things he did. I can't even imagine going to someone and telling them that I got married and, instead of telling how beautiful and sweet she is, listing off how well she cleans dishes and cooks and takes care of the house. Was it a marriage contract or a work contract?

Good post, Kevin. I'm so glad my husband doesn't just see me as a servant. I cook, clean, do laundry, etc. like a wife should.. and I do my best to be submissive to my husband, but I feel that the only reason it's so easy for me to do all these things with the right attitude is because he makes it easy. He treats me like I'm the most beautiful woman alive and he does everything he can to provide for my needs, so it's easy for me to want to be a "keeper at home".

[Guest Guest]

I think this is turning into a Sean bashing thread. :roll

He didn't say anything wrong, any implication that it was a "work contract" as someone so unkindly put it, is utterly without basis. Obviously godsgurlie agrees with him or she wouldn't have married him. I think I know sean well enough to be pretty sure he doesn't just see his new wife as a servant. :roll


BTW Congratulations Sean, I will pray that the Lord will give both of you grace, peace, and fullness of joy through the power of his Spirit. :Green

[John81]

Congratulations to both of you!

Your post about this would have been far better had it also included Scripture regarding your duty and role as the husband, such as Will's post did; rather than just that relating to your wife.

Keep in mind that our first priority is to make sure we know and live by the Word of God, not that we make sure others do.

I pray you have a blessed marriage. If both of you strive to live according to the Word of God, we know that God will bless that.

[Will]

Congratulations to both of you!

Your post about this would have been far better had it also included Scripture regarding your duty and role as the husband, such as Will's post did; rather than just that relating to your wife.

Keep in mind that our first priority is to make sure we know and live by the Word of God, not that we make sure others do.

I pray you have a blessed marriage. If both of you strive to live according to the Word of God, we know that God will bless that.

Just as a sidenote to what John said here, I think that men too often focus on what the wife is supposed to do, instead of focusing on what we're supposed to do.

[Guest Guest]

Your post about this would have been far better had it also included Scripture regarding your duty and role as the husband' date=' such as Will's post did; rather than just that relating to your wife. [/quote']

What do you call this John?

[John81]

Just as a sidenote to what John said here, I think that men too often focus on what the wife is supposed to do, instead of focusing on what we're supposed to do.

Very true. I wrestled with this some early on. Sadly, I've known several men who would hound their wives night and day about their "duties" while ignoring what Scripture had to say to them as husbands.