Tragedy

[Guest Guest]

As I step parent I stepped bak and the second oldest whom I have a great relationship with was exposed to pornography through the elder. It was happening for about a year. Before then I knew something was wrong but he had my wife conviced I was out to get him. It was not true I simply want the best for my kids and saw that he was not honest and bullied his mother into his way. I had to save my marriage so I steped back and it all unfolded he even tried to set the house on fire. My wife and his Grandparents decided it would be best if he lived with them. Know we realize we should have had him committed. He is worse now and thinks eveyone owes him something. I tried to do my best and it is in the Lords hands now. Do all you can while he is under your guardianship after he is of age you have virtually no control. Tank

Oh...Tank. This breaks my heart. We "try" as parents to do the best job that we can. Our parents and grandparents did the same thing. You didn't know what else to do. Maybe if you would have had him committed it could be worse? Only Jesus knows the "whole picture" and as the Irish prayer says..."He is holding him in the palm of his hand." Sometimes I feel that the Lord is holding our youth in His arms tightly. :pray



Something for all of us to remember..."Waiting on the Lord speaks of all Christian's private life. Your life behind the door in your personal prayer closet will determine the effectiveness of your life in the eyes of people." (Tom Malone).

[John81]

Tank, our son is the same way with thinking everyone owes him. A week or so ago he told me that the doesn't see that myself or his mom have very done anything for him! :-S I asked him who takes care of him when he's sick, who puts a roof over his head, provides a bed for him, keeps his belly full, bought all the stuff he has, takes him out to eat sometimes, etc.

His reply, "Well, I don't think of those things." Said in a very hateful manner.

[Guest Guest]

Tank, our son is the same way with thinking everyone owes him. A week or so ago he told me that the doesn't see that myself or his mom have very done anything for him! :-S I asked him who takes care of him when he's sick, who puts a roof over his head, provides a bed for him, keeps his belly full, bought all the stuff he has, takes him out to eat sometimes, etc.

His reply, "Well, I don't think of those things." Said in a very hateful manner.

Hey, John. Do you have health insurance so that you can get him evaluated? If so...I would highly recommend some testing. It can't hurt to see if their is an issue. JMHO.

[Anon]

That's a good point...things like low thyroid or other health problems can cause depression and moodiness.

[Guest Guest]

That's a good point...things like low thyroid or other health problems can cause depression and moodiness.

That is exactly what I was thinking, Kita. It could be a medical issue, and NOT.. psychological. There is so much out there in terms of testing. You can basically get ANYTHING from someone's blood. They have testing for everything now.

[Trish]

That is exactly what I was thinking, Kita. It could be a medical issue, and NOT.. psychological. There is so much out there in terms of testing. You can basically get ANYTHING from someone's blood. They have testing for everything now.

Quite true, my oldest was VERY moody before we figured out her food allergies. She is like a different person when she dosen't eat right.

[deafnva77]

my son lack of sleep from eczema and his wheezing makes him irritable.

[JerryNumbers]

John, So sorry that you and your family are having to go thru this. I know its going to be a very tough road to go down. My prayer is that God will give you all the grace that is needed to deal with this situation. I don't know just what you may have to do, but it may be something that's extremely difficult, just keep leaning on our Lord, He will give you the strength to get thru it and do whatever is necessary.

13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

Phil 4:13 (KJV)

19 But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

Phil 4:19 (KJV)

No doubt, many things are to difficult for us, but nothing is to difficult for Him, and He promised never to forsake us or leave us.

[John81]

Hey, John. Do you have health insurance so that you can get him evaluated? If so...I would highly recommend some testing. It can't hurt to see if their is an issue. JMHO.

No, no health insurance.

[John81]

That's a good point...things like low thyroid or other health problems can cause depression and moodiness.

The way he is doesn't come and go, it's ongoing and has been for years. Rather than growing out of it or coming to Christ, it's just getting worse.

We are hoping to be able to get some mental and medical evaluations done at some point, it's just not clear yet when or who will do them.

[John81]

John, So sorry that you and your family are having to go thru this. I know its going to be a very tough road to go down. My prayer is that God will give you all the grace that is needed to deal with this situation. I don't know just what you may have to do, but it may be something that's extremely difficult, just keep leaning on our Lord, He will give you the strength to get thru it and do whatever is necessary.

13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

Phil 4:13 (KJV)

19 But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

Phil 4:19 (KJV)

No doubt, many things are to difficult for us, but nothing is to difficult for Him, and He promised never to forsake us or leave us.

Thank you Jerry. This is indeed very difficult and the decision to send him to a Christian Youth Recovery Home was a very difficult one to make. Like my wife said, we've done everything we can for him yet he doesn't appreciate it or even see it. As well, we've done all we can for him yet he continually chooses to go against our biblical standards, beliefs and rules (as well as against the Word of God).

At this time we believe he needs full-time supervision and help but it's like his mom told him, if he doesn't take the help offered and work to make the necessary changes he won't get any better and will likely end up in jail or prison.

[Anon]

Well you are already in "state custody"....so....maybe ask around your church for anyone who knows of a good therapist or psychologist to check him out...?

[John81]

Well you are already in "state custody"....so....maybe ask around your church for anyone who knows of a good therapist or psychologist to check him out...?

There is a man at our church who is a former police officer, youth counselor and pastor. He has offered to counsel our son. This man is supposed to be very good and can likely tell us what the problem is.

[trc123]

There is a man at our church who is a former police officer, youth counselor and pastor. He has offered to counsel our son. This man is supposed to be very good and can likely tell us what the problem is.

Wow, that is a huge blessing! Very gracious of him......

[John81]

Wow, that is a huge blessing! Very gracious of him......

Yes it is. The church he pastored decided to consolidate with their sending church so they closed the doors and now all attend the sending church. He felt led to remain where he was, not to pursue further patoring at this time, and he came to our church. Now he leads AWANA at our church, drives a school bus and substitute teaches at the high school.