Funny question that's really not funny

[Anon]

Okay seriously. Pastors....how would you handle it if you had a woman in your church who kinda acts like a "bus mom" but really isn't a bus mom....but the hygiene is so bad that people notice the smell even after she has left the room. We've had complaints about it and everything. Some days you can just walk in the church and it reeks. Its going to be hard to embrace visitors like that. We have given her gift baskets of hygiene stuff and body sprays and stuff....but otherwise nobody is brave enough to actually come out and flat out ask her what the problem is. They don't have much money but deodorant is .99 and so is soap. Its becoming a real problem. I honestly and purposely think the person doesn't believe in wearing deodorant and doesn't care, but that is my theory and I am too chicken to actually come out and ask the person.

Advice? Help?

[John81]

Find someone who isn't too chicken to ask. If the gift baskets didn't work, asking outright is probably necessary.

Some Mennonites don't believe in using deoderant, not sure why, but WOW!, you can tell they don't if you are around them after they've been doing roofing work all day in the summer!

Other than them I've only known one other person who didn't use deoderant and they didn't really have, or at leas didn't give a reason, other than that they just didn't like to. I had to wrestle him in PE and when I pinned his arms back to pin him to the mat the smell literally almost gagged me. I almost lost my hold on him because of that and I can remember the coach yelling at me and all I could think was that I didn't think I could hold my breath long enough for the three count. I managed to get the three count and I got away from there fast!

[Brother Rick]

My pastor had to deal with something similar to this. He said he just finds an "alpha-female" and asks her to go and talk to the lady.

How unbelievably awkward, it's amazing the things that pastors have to deal with.

[John81]

My pastor had to deal with something similar to this. He said he just finds an "alpha-female" and asks her to go and talk to the lady.

How unbelievably awkward, it's amazing the things that pastors have to deal with.

You got that right!

[Bro Jim]

I agree find a lady in the church who will do it and will have a Christian attitude about it. I try and use "soul winning " training to address bodily order.

Some people are so into the natural thing that they don't like the chemicals in deodorant, talk is the the aluminum in them also lead to Alzhiemers. I have seen and read that white vinegar works well for BO, and when I was in the movie "Comanche Moon" the wardrobe people use "vodka" as a spray for the armpits of the costumes, to fight he oder form the actors.

But it sure has to be done in Christs love. And if all else fails, then a pastor must do it.

[Brother Rick]

You know the whole "all-natural" thing is overrated, and it forgets, oftentimes, that nature fell and was cursed in Genesis chapter three.

In other words, "Use the deodorant so you'll stop stinking up the place!!!!" :icon_mrgreen:

[Anon]

Use deodorant AND take showers, for pete's sake..... *sigh*

[HappyChristian]

I was delegated by the pastor in a previous church to deal with two similar situations - only the ladies were active members of the church, and on church staff.

It is a difficult thing to do, but it is actually quite necessary - for her sake as well as everyone else. Many times ladies aren't aware of the odor (truly - olfactory nerves don't always alert us to odor that others are smelling...) and a loving chat could go a long way.

I don't think I would approach it simply as a sit-down and let her know she smells. Perhaps take her to lunch and work at befriending her so she realizes she is not the target of hateful criticism (unfortunately a lot of people feel that way when something is pointed out...sometimes justly!).

I hate to say this, Suzi, but, unless there is a lady in your church who is willing to step in at your request, you da one!

(just a bit of trivia: taking alfalfa tablets cuts down on both BO and bad breath...)

[Pastor Matt]

Has she been baptized? If not it may answer your prayers for a week. I'm just saying.

[John81]

Has she been baptized? If not it may answer your prayers for a week. I'm just saying.

:th_laugh1:

[trc123]

It is absolutely the pastor's wife's responsibility to deal with the ladies in the church in this manner! What were you thinking? :smilie_loco:4

[Bro Jim]

It is absolutely the pastor's wife's responsibility to deal with the ladies in the church in this manner! What were you thinking?

Scripture please. The only responsibility my wife has in the church is to be my wife, anything over and above that is her decision to serve the Lord.

[John81]

Scripture please. The only responsibility my wife has in the church is to be my wife, anything over and above that is her decision to serve the Lord.

True, and I think trc agrees with this.

[HappyChristian]

Well, I guess trc was making reference to my comment that Suzi was da one if no other woman would do it. Maybe not, but just in case, let me clarify: she's the one who is concerned about it...so, if there's no one else to do it, she's the one who needs to...because she's concerned about it. Whether or not she's the pastor's wife.

[Bro Jim]

True, and I think trc agrees with this.

Your probably right John, maybe just touchy a little bit, run it to this once in awhile. "She is the pastor's wife she should do it." I ask them the same question, the only thing that Peter's wife gave him was a sick mother-in law.