Family Picture

[PreacherBen]

Hey ya'll, it would be so nice to see your smiling faces. We enjoy such fine fellowship here, but what do you look like. I'm sure this has been posted before, but we took another family pic last Sunday at a church where I preached. Here we go!

The Ben Smith Family (minus our 22 year old son, plus Mama is expecting in February!):icon_biggrin:

[Pastor Matt]

Nice family picture!! As soon as find them, I will have to get some of my family pics up.

[quinkie]

Beautiful family. Thanks for sharing.

[Janice]

I'm just simply curious as to what you and your wife do as far as your job employment to financially support so many children in one household. I'm sure that you and your wife have already set up college funding for each of these children. I do know that pastors of most churches don't make alot of salary so do you work outside of being a pastor? Do you not worry about the age factor of yourself and your wife. I know that at 40 I had my last child and even at that age it was a major concern. You posted that you and your wife had a 21 year old is he in college?

[elijahruth]

I'm just simply curious as to what you and your wife do as far as your job employment to financially support so many children in one household. I'm sure that you and your wife have already set up college funding for each of these children. I do know that pastors of most churches don't make alot of salary so do you work outside of being a pastor? Do you not worry about the age factor of yourself and your wife. I know that at 40 I had my last child and even at that age it was a major concern. You posted that you and your wife had a 21 year old is he in college?

Not to answer Preacher Ben here or anything, but when you live your life without all the expensive and material extras, you can live fairly cheaply. My guess is his wife has a garden and him maybe have a few animals. Tell me if I am wrong. I have lived similarly and plan to do so again. When you raise kids away from t.v. and stuff they do not ask for all the toys that every other kid thinks they need. It has come to the point that if kids don't have a t.v., computer and dvd in their rooms, they are deprived. In reality they are being deprived of the Word of God and simple, joyful, fulfilling living.

[Janice]

Not to answer Preacher Ben here or anything, but when you live your life without all the expensive and material extras, you can live fairly cheaply. My guess is his wife has a garden and him maybe have a few animals. Tell me if I am wrong. I have lived similarly and plan to do so again. When you raise kids away from t.v. and stuff they do not ask for all the toys that every other kid thinks they need. It has come to the point that if kids don't have a t.v., computer and dvd in their rooms, they are deprived. In reality they are being deprived of the Word of God and simple, joyful, fulfilling living.

Yes, I agree with you 100% that today if a child does not have these things which you brought up they do feel so deprived, yet as you posted in reality they are deprived most probably in God's word and His teachings. I suppose the one thing I was questioning in general was thier children's future college plans and the college funding for that. I know that on a pastor's salary it is not possible and I figured with this man and woman having so many kids that the woman probably did not work outside of the home. One day all these kids which these parents have will one day have to be on thier own and will have to have a very good college education to get good paying jobs now days just to make simple ends come together financially. I do understand and agree with what you posted. It was only the future education of college degrees for these children that I was wondering about.

[Anon]

We aren't worried about our kids college. In the "old days" kids worked themselves through college anyway. I think its pretty wrong these days that people don't want to consider having kids unless they can start a college fund!!!! We will train our boys to work and save money and then we will help them when we can, but they can very well get a job and work through college like so many have before them.

Sorry but I think its pretty rude to judge this man for having "so many kids" and asking personal questions about his financial status. If God gave them children, God will allow them to provide for them.

[elijahruth]

We aren't worried about our kids college. In the "old days" kids worked themselves through college anyway. I think its pretty wrong these days that people don't want to consider having kids unless they can start a college fund!!!! We will train our boys to work and save money and then we will help them when we can, but they can very well get a job and work through college like so many have before them.

Sorry but I think its pretty rude to judge this man for having "so many kids" and asking personal questions about his financial status. If God gave them children, God will allow them to provide for them.

Also, about the college, I know of some christian colleges that let you pay tuition quarterly and at a very reasonable rate. Crown College in Powell, Tn is one. I know people who have gone through the college and their money always came through when they put their faith in God.

[Anon]

Fairhaven and also Pensacola are also very reasonable.

[Annie]

We aren't worried about our kids college. In the "old days" kids worked themselves through college anyway. I think its pretty wrong these days that people don't want to consider having kids unless they can start a college fund!!!! We will train our boys to work and save money and then we will help them when we can, but they can very well get a job and work through college like so many have before them.

I agree, Kita. Good posting.

Sorry but I think its pretty rude to judge this man for having "so many kids" and asking personal questions about his financial status. If God gave them children, God will allow them to provide for them.

It would be pretty rude to do this, but I'm not sure this is what Janice has done. My parents, who are the sweetest people alive, have expressed the same kind of concern about our kids' college education. (We have five and live on a "ministry salary.") They (and that generation in general, it seems) were the kind of people who worked extra jobs, scraped, and saved to give their two kids something they never had, and something they considered necessary for life in today's society. Both my sister and I graduated debt-free from university, and never had to worry about where a dime of that money was coming from. Meanwhile, my poor dad was working literally 70-to-80-hours a week in order to foot the bill, while my mom worked hard managing the restaurant they owned "on the side." My sister and I were spoiled in a big way! Now, I am SOOO thankful for my parents' sacrifices, and I will appreciate what they did until my dying day...but that is just not how it works for everyone. My parents themselves will tell you that they look back with regret on some of the years they were raising us...They worked so hard, and we were so busy at school, that family times were few and far between. As a teenager, I was selfish and took everything my parents were doing for granted. Our relationship was, well, really nonexistent, since we never really saw each other. When we finally grew up, around age 25 or so, we realized just how much had been done for us, and were grateful. I have a great relationship with my parents today.

My husband, on the other hand, had to pay for half of his university education. He also graduated debt-free.

We have a while before we'll be sending the kids off to university. Sure, we'll save what we can, but I'm sure our kids will have to rely on scholarships and good ol' hard work to gain the adequate money...not to mention whatever they receive "free" from our good God who owns the cattle on a thousand hills!

[Janice]

I agree, Kita. Good posting.


It would be pretty rude to do this, but I'm not sure this is what Janice has done. My parents, who are the sweetest people alive, have expressed the same kind of concern about our kids' college education. (We have five and live on a "ministry salary.") They (and that generation in general, it seems) were the kind of people who worked extra jobs, scraped, and saved to give their two kids something they never had, and something they considered necessary for life in today's society. Both my sister and I graduated debt-free from university, and never had to worry about where a dime of that money was coming from. Meanwhile, my poor dad was working literally 70-to-80-hours a week in order to foot the bill, while my mom worked hard managing the restaurant they owned "on the side." My sister and I were spoiled in a big way! Now, I am SOOO thankful for my parents' sacrifices, and I will appreciate what they did until my dying day...but that is just not how it works for everyone. My parents themselves will tell you that they look back with regret on some of the years they were raising us...They worked so hard, and we were so busy at school, that family times were few and far between. As a teenager, I was selfish and took everything my parents were doing for granted. Our relationship was, well, really nonexistent, since we never really saw each other. When we finally grew up, around age 25 or so, we realized just how much had been done for us, and were grateful. I have a great relationship with my parents today.

My husband, on the other hand, had to pay for half of his university education. He also graduated debt-free.

We have a while before we'll be sending the kids off to university. Sure, we'll save what we can, but I'm sure our kids will have to rely on scholarships and good ol' hard work to gain the adequate money...not to mention whatever they receive "free" from our good God who owns the cattle on a thousand hills!

Thank you for not judging me as the prior poster did. This poster was judging me because she thought in her own opinion and jumped to the conclusion that I was judging someone else. This poster seems to joy in doing this. I was only inquiring as to a concern to those childrens college funds and yes God does provide but He also wants us to support our children in helping with these very costly college expenses. My kids did work and are working thmeselves thur college with the help of scholarships. I definitely (did not) feel I asked (personal) questions in regards to my post. I can not and do not understand why that poster jumped so quickly on that conclusion. For any concerned and loving parent to say - - We aren't worried about our childrens college really causes me much concern. I love my children so much and I am definitely concerned and I worry and as a parent to me that is normal although I do put my faith, trust and hope all in God but as I said He wants us to help in all of this and not just lay back and leave it all up to Him. I suppose I need to post exactly as this poster(kitagrl) feels I should but then I am not a mind reader. I don't know why she likes to be so critical of me on every post.

[HappyChristian]

Janice - kita hasn't been critical in every post. The first posting which you felt she was critical was a mistake on your part: you took her signature quotes to be a criticism of you, but they were not. They have been in her siggy for quite a long time.

As far as her being critical of your asking questions of a financial nature to PB = well, I have to admit I wondered about it when I read your post, too...simply because there are so many people, Christians included, that feel that unless people are pretty well-to-do, they shouldn't have more than 1.5 kids. KWIM? Please understand and don't take that as a criticism of you - and know also, that, as a relatively new poster, we don't know you very well, yet. I'm sure that as we get to know you better through more of your posts, we will see that you are not being judgmental...and you will, in turn, see that we aren't always being critical when we point out something about a post that makes us pause...

As far as college - our son has paid for his own attendance at the colleges he has attended. I had to pay for my own college, since my parents didn't have the money (I truly think that, even if they did, I would have still been required to pay my own way - that is the way my family has always been, from generations back). My parents did give me a couple hundred dollars as part of my graduation gift, which enabled me to pay off the bill completely. That was wonderful!

I learned a lot about faith when I was in college. I had several jobs, but they didn't come until after I'd gotten started. God provided every step of the way, and I am so thankful for what I learned in faith and in experience in the jobs I held.

PreacherBen - you really do have a lovely family! I wanted a large family so badly. But God saw fit to give me just one son. He is almost 22, so the same basic age as your eldest.

[trc123]

Thank you for not judging me as the prior poster did. This poster was judging me because she thought in her own opinion and jumped to the conclusion that I was judging someone else. This poster seems to joy in doing this. I was only inquiring as to a concern to those childrens college funds and yes God does provide but He also wants us to support our children in helping with these very costly college expenses. My kids did work and are working thmeselves thur college with the help of scholarships. I definitely (did not) feel I asked (personal) questions in regards to my post. I can not and do not understand why that poster jumped so quickly on that conclusion. For any concerned and loving parent to say - - We aren't worried about our childrens college really causes me much concern. I love my children so much and I am definitely concerned and I worry and as a parent to me that is normal although I do put my faith, trust and hope all in God but as I said He wants us to help in all of this and not just lay back and leave it all up to Him. I suppose I need to post exactly as this poster(kitagrl) feels I should but then I am not a mind reader. I don't know why she likes to be so critical of me on every post.

While I am not judging you and am perfectly happy to have you hold to an opinion opposite of mine. I disagree with you concerning the statement, ".....but He (God) also wants us to support our children in helping with these very costly college expenses."

I've found no place in the Scriptures that indicate we owe a "college" level education to our children and as a matter of practical observation I believe this very concept is responsible for the decline of certain values in our society.

[PreacherBen]

Thank you, elijahruth, I could not have put it better. I am the sole provider for our family and we live very plain and simple. We garden, have goats, chickens, and bees. My wife and girls make all their own outfits (except for us boys,) and we try to avoid unnecessary extravagancies.

As far as college goes, I don't have a college plan for my girls, I am raising wives and mothers. My goal is for my girls to be godly and have character, I am not raising career women, I personally don't agree with that way of life, though I do not condemn the sisters who have "had" to do that (single mom's etc.) This is the way of life for us.

I work in telecommunications and make a fair wage, enough to get by. My wife is expecting #9 baby in Feb. 2010. We have not had major complications and are just trusting the Lord. My son trains Tennessee Walking Horses. He is considering the Navy or Air Force.

Bro. Ben

Not to answer Preacher Ben here or anything, but when you live your life without all the expensive and material extras, you can live fairly cheaply. My guess is his wife has a garden and him maybe have a few animals. Tell me if I am wrong. I have lived similarly and plan to do so again. When you raise kids away from t.v. and stuff they do not ask for all the toys that every other kid thinks they need. It has come to the point that if kids don't have a t.v., computer and dvd in their rooms, they are deprived. In reality they are being deprived of the Word of God and simple, joyful, fulfilling living.

[Annie]

Thank you, elijahruth, I could not have put it better. I am the sole provider for our family and we live very plain and simple. We garden, have goats, chickens, and bees. My wife and girls make all their own outfits (except for us boys,) and we try to avoid unnecessary extravagancies.

As far as college goes, I don't have a college plan for my girls, I am raising wives and mothers. My goal is for my girls to be godly and have character, I am not raising career women, I personally don't agree with that way of life, though I do not condemn the sisters who have "had" to do that (single mom's etc.) This is the way of life for us.

Preacher Ben, in my previous post I should have commented on your lovely family picture. I respect your way of life and often envy the skills of those who grew up in such surroundings. No doubt you are rearing hard-working Christian sons and daughters who will live to please the Lord. Of course, I was reared quite differently, and walk in different circles than y'all today (although we do try to avoid extravagancies, media/culture saturation, and live as simply as is possible for us). I share your goals for daughters: ask any of my girls what they want to be when they grow up, and they will say, "A mommy." I do not desire careers for my girls, and did not pursue one of my own. I have all confidence that these values will have permeated my girls so that even if/when they attend university, they will not do so to pursue a career, but to increase their knowledge of God and wisdom that will help to guide them through their lives. (That's what university did for me, anyway.) And, if one or more of them end up single, they'll have a way to provide for themselves, if it works out that way.