new member question

[chev1958]

A family has been visiting our church regularly for a couple of months. I've had private meetings with the family and feel confident they are saved (at least the parents) and scripturally baptized.

However, this family is coming from a split church in a neighboring town (actually most of those members were members of my church before it split about 4 years ago -- that was before I came into town).

This family doesn't adhere to the KJV, and are somewhat contemporary in worship style. But there aren't many Baptist churches to choose from, so they're are coming to mine. It seems I get into some sort of debate with the father after every service. The family was invited by one of our member families who was also involved somewhat in that same church split, but our member family is very humble and eager to work.

Recently, the father ran into my 23-year-old daughter at a Burger King, and they ate together. During the meal, he proceeded to tell her where I was wrong on my KJV stand and how "hard" I was preaching (I gave him two articles Jerry likes on the KJV issue).

He said the church would never grow because I was too strict in my standards and I wasn't reaching out to those folks who are hurting because of the splits. He basically told my daughter that I was an idiot. She got uncomfortable and kept telling him to talk to me, but she felt like he was trying to get her to "cross over to the dark side."

I sense a divisive spirit in the father. The wife/mother is a joy to work with, and has jumped in with a couple of projects the women are doing for our missionary families for Christmas. But the father, well, let's just say I'm getting a little tired of all the debates. My preaching spirit is actually suppressed somewhat because I get concerned with what's he's thinking about the message.

I haven't re-approached the family recently about joining. Part of me wants to talk to the father about his divisive spirit and suggest he seek a church more to his liking. Another part of me wants to sock him in the nose for trying to get my daughter to question me and her upbringing. A third part says leave it to the Lord and He'll take care of it.

I may be "borrowing trouble," as my wife likes to say, by being concerned about something that's not happened yet. But I'd like to be somewhat prepared if the family says they want to join this next Sunday.

Should I head the situation off at the pass, or just wait until they make their move?

Mitch

[Pastorj]

He has already displayed a divisive spirit by telling your daughter and not you about where you are wrong. I would make an appointment with him. If he refuses to hear, thank him and let him know that he is welcome to attend as long as he does not cause any trouble or he can find another church.

[Mike]

Sounds like he is tring to cause a division in your church.Also he is disrepecting the office of a Pastor.We had something like this in my Church and finally my Pastor had to take some Men with him and confront the issue.The family wouldn't heed and were finally asked to leave because they wrer causing so much problems.My advise would be to talk with him with some men and tell him he is still welcome to attend but the "attitude" must go or he will be asked to go.

[Anon]

Good posting PastorJ.... (Mike, you too :) )

Those "split" situations are no fun at all. Our area has three main IFB churches that seems like 75% of the people have been to at least two of them, if not all three, at one point or another. There are other Baptist churches that are full of people from splits off of one of our three churches too. People like that are often (though not always) full of bitterness and critical, and easily hurt or offended. Difficult to work with. God will give you wisdom! Doesn't sound like he should be a member at all though, if he isn't willing to submit his beliefs under the pastor's, then he would be better off in a place he can agree with.

[rwilson]

Chev1958,
I don't know anything of this situation except of what I have read here, but the first thing that came to my mind was that I wonder if he is the one who caused the first split? He might be saved, but from the sounds of it, if he is saved he is definitely backslidden,and oppressed by Satan. I don't believe that a Christian can be posessed by Satan, but a backslidden Christian can be oppressed by him. I have been through a couple of splits in my life, and I know that they can be very dangerous and hurtful to alot of people. I would say beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you are doing a great work in this church. If not, Satan would be leaving you alone. I'll be praying for you everytime I go to prayer. I cannot help but think what Paul says in Ephesians chapter 6. I know that it's verses are something that we can recite from memory, but I pray that in this situation it will be an ecouragement to you.
006:010 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.
006:011 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.
006:012 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
006:013 Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
006:014 Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;
006:015 And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;
006:016 Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.
006:017 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:
006:018 Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints;
006:019 And for me, that utterance may be given unto me, that I may open my mouth boldly, to make known the mystery of the gospel,
006:020 For which I am an ambassador in bonds: that therein I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak.

Praying for you right now.

Because of the Cross,

Bob Wilson

[chev1958]

Thank you all for your advice and counsel (and, of course, your prayers!). I have an appointment with our sending pastor to get his viewpoint on this -- I'll let y'all know what comes of this whole thing.

Mitch

[dwayner79]

Mitch,

It should be obvious that this man is in the wrong. I think that he has submitted himself to your churches guidence if not by a paper membership, at least by regular attendance for a significant period of time. You have every right as a christian brother to go to him about his divisive spirit. I think he is free to believe the way he does, but not to cause divisivness as a result. He should apologize (repent) or follow church discipline. I do not think that a paper membership is required for the Matthew 18 process to apply.

It is a tough situation, Sorry you have to deal with it, but it may be a real turning point in the guys life. Gal. 6

[lettheredeemedsayso]

I believe at this point the best thing to do is keep it before the Lord. Many times when christians handle things themselves they get in the flesh. God can take care of things. He doeth all things well. Trust Him for it.

[solozealot]

Just like what 'My Saviour Leads Me' says. Prayer is the most important thing in the situation. If it is the Lord's battle, then we will not be alone in the fight. So we must continue bring it before the Lord until it is resolved.

[chev1958]

I've got an update on this situation. The family has missed three consecutive services, but with it being the holidays, I didn't think too much about it.

However, I got a letter from the father today and he said he and his family would continue to look for another church. While he said he enjoyed the preaching and how the new work was going, he was not comfortable with KJV only and a church that conducted closed communion. The one thing he didn't mention -- that I'm pretty sure was another sticking point -- was our "traditional" music and my lack of contemporary worship style.

Oh, well, the Lord took care of it without a confrontation. Now, I can concentrate even more on building the work properly.

Thanks for all your prayers and advice concerning this matter.

Mitch

[JerryNumbers]

Mitch, Glad it all worked out without much trouble.

If he had talked to my daughter about this and not me, I feel I would have had to speak to him, telling him, he needs to come to me, not my daughter.

We to have closed or maybe its called restricted communion, that is we will only serve the Lords Supper to the local church members, I firmly believe that is what the Bible teaches.

May God Bless,
Jerry808

"Let not your heart be troubled" John 14:1

[Jesuspaiditall4all]

Thanks for posting the update, Mitch!!

Isn't GOD great...HE is able to take care of our concerns and eliminates the hassles too... :mrgreen:

[John81]

Praise God!

At least the guy had enough decency to send you a letter, that's better than nothing.

May the Lord bless and keep your church!

[solozealot]

[quote="John81"]
At least the guy had enough decency to send you a letter, that's better than nothing.
[/quote]

Maybe his conscience was being convicted, and he was trying to ease it a little? :frog

[Psalms18_28]

If he is really concern for younger generation's souls, He need let go his minor issues such as KJV if the church preach the gospel he agrees with. The last thing a young teen need is seeing a church getting into an argumen, telling each other that they are wrong. It confuses the teen, and wonder maybe everyone is wrong. That's how my aunt began turn her back against churches. If he the minority, he will need find a church he feels comfortable, or sit in you church and deal with it.