Age difference

[Madeline]

My boyfriend turned 29 in March and I turn 20 in September. My co-workers were arguing with me about how my boyfriend is much too old for me. Just out of curiosity...does anyone think that the age differential between me and him is too wide of a gap?

Love,
Madeline

[IM4given]

It doesn't matter what any of us think, what does your father think about the age difference? Does he approve of your new boyfriend?

[HappyChristian]

George Muller's wife was 8 years older than he, and they had a wonderful marriage. My mom's best friend's hubby was 15 years older than she and they had a wonderful marriage. I think if you were talking 30 years age difference, it would be questionable, but the Bible doesn't lay any numbers down for ages - in fact, many of the girls who married wed men quite a bit older than they. If he's sold out to the Lord, and you are, 9 years is nothing (but I do agree with IM4G - your papa should have a say!).

[Madeline]

George Muller's wife was 8 years older than he' date=' and they had a wonderful marriage. My mom's best friend's hubby was 15 years older than she and they had a wonderful marriage. I think if you were talking 30 years age difference, it would be questionable, but the Bible doesn't lay any numbers down for ages - in fact, many of the girls who married wed men quite a bit older than they. If he's sold out to the Lord, and you are, 9 years is nothing (but I do agree with IM4G - your papa should have a say!).[/quote']

My father was a wife beater/alcoholic and died a while back....
I asked my Pastor and my mother and they both feel that he is the one for me. Just curious what some of you thought. Thanks for commenting! :smile

[HappyChristian]

(sorry, I didn't know about your dad!!!)

Then, if you think he's the one God would have you marry - go for it! :wink

[chev1958]

I think age can make a difference, especially in the younger years. I'd be somewhat opposed to a 21-year-old dating a 16-year-old. But you're getting to that age where it doesn't really make that much of a difference, I guess.

However, my main concern as a father would be the man's stand with the Lord. Age makes a different to a point, but the main point is whether his "Christianity" matches up with yours.

My $0.02 worth,

Mitch

[Bakershalfdozen]

How do you feel about it?

Age differences like that don't bother some people but it bothered me when I was in that situation. I dated a guy in college that had about that much age on me. Sometimes he tried to act like my dad because he was 9 or so years older. He was a very nice guy and loved the Lord. He just knew that we were supposed to get married. It was "God's will". I wasn't sure and as time went by I knew for sure we weren't supposed to get married. One of us was wrong; guess who lost. :frog

Anyhoo, sorry for the personal story. The age difference bothered me but apparantly it doesn't bother my SIL who married someone 30 years older than herself. :uuhm:

[Madeline]

I appreciate all the comments sooo much, and it means a lot to me. It is all locking in!!! :sing: :sing: :sing: I'm learning a lot here! :tum :tum :tum :wink

[lettheredeemedsayso]

that was wise of you to talk with your pastor about it since your father is gone. :lol

[BlessedChristianlady8]

My husband is 13 years older then me and I am going to be 30 this November. I chose him because, he treated me nice the way a man should be and later on I found out he was saved and Baptisted at age 8 or 9 and also he was brought up on the King James Bible.

[Psalms18_28]

8 years apart is not that big of a age difference.

Now time for my negative side: be careful who you picked and pray hard!!! make sure he is truly the guy who you want to married and make sure your pastor will teach your boyfriend everything he need to know how to treat his wife (some sort of pre-marial counseling). Because you have a father who was abuser, and women who had fathers like that tend to attract men who later became abuser themselves. I guess they are attracted to their charming personality. I been there myself. My grandma had an abusive father and she married an abusive husband. My mom married an alcoholic who was also abusive in secret (he wasn't always abusive. Just every now and then. Most of the time he stay away from the house) . He never abusive any of his kids so my mom loved him for that. Then me, but I got out of the situation (I wasn't marry to this guy) and now with a wonderful husband.

[Ron]

well, 8 years 11 months and 30 days would have been acceptable, but 9 years is waaayyy too big a gap! hahaha. As long as God feels that he is the one for you then it's all good. :wink

[Madeline]

Because you have a father who was abuser' date=' and women who had fathers like that tend to attract men who later became abuser themselves. I guess they are attracted to their charming personality. I been there myself. [/quote']

That is not the case with him. I have had several boyfriends in the past and none of them were abusive. I don't attract abusive men. My boyfriends mother, sister, and his closest friends all tell me that he is the epitome of a gentlemen. Btw, he is also extremely timid, but is a powerful man of God when it comes to witnessing. I seem to be a magnet for shy guys...I guess it's because I'm a tad shy myself. :smile

[Sojourner]

American women live an average of 79.1 years, while American men average 72.2 years. So if you're not wanting to be a widow for 16 years, you might want to find a younger guy.

Of course this is an average, so you might get "lucky" and get a guy who'll be around to badger you till you're gone.

My one grandfather was 9 years older than my grandmother, but she died at age 77 and he died at age 89, so he was a widower for 3 years.
My other grandfather was also 9 years older than my other grandmother. He died at age 76 and she died at age 87, so she was a widow for 20 years.

Ya just never know.

[Madeline]

you might get "lucky" and get a guy who'll be around to badger you till you're gone.

I don't believe in luck, but then again, neither do you! Well, I'll find out sooner or later. :tum