Christian divorced man

Salyan · October 10

There are so many ministry areas beyond pastor and deacon.... if divorced people want to serve God, they are barely limited by this restriction. I feel like maybe there's some pride involved with those that want to lead despite this disqualification (and if that's the case, they really shouldn't be leading!).

BrotherTony · October 10

7 hours ago, Salyan said:

There are so many ministry areas beyond pastor and deacon.... if divorced people want to serve God, they are barely limited by this restriction. I feel like maybe there's some pride involved with those that want to lead despite this disqualification (and if that's the case, they really shouldn't be leading!).

I agree. I've known many men who were divorced while in the ministry and lived by the biblical restrictions. Yet, they got to teach Sunday School, some became evangelists, and others writers. Same with many of the women in all but evangelists. They did speak at ladies conventions though.

BrotherTony · October 10

On 9/23/2024 at 5:50 PM, TheGloryLand said:

If a pastor is single, this is why it’s better for him to marry a single woman, or a widow. Also, the pastor can remarry if he’s a widow. The next wife could be unmarried or widow. But if he don't remarry at all, this can be much better. Most likely he already has children that are older and grown up from the first wife. He already have his family and the ministry. To start all over you really have to think and pray about it. These days for a pastor that is a widow, to find a good widow or single women never married. Who will support him, one hundred percent in the ministry, which is very hard to find. To marrying a woman who just got a divorce and dealing with her past and her Ex-husband still around it’s not good for Pastor. like you mentioned above. In some cases, you can come home to a surprise. Not a good ending.

My wife and I know several pastors who have been widowed in the past five years and have remarried. They are all in their 50s to early 70s. Two have married widowed women in their congregations and are doing very well. Four of them married women in their 30s, that have NEVER been married before, and two of them are having to take a hiatus to help their brides adjust to married life, not that there's any trouble. The church felt they were owed a little down time. They have some great people in their congregations. Five of these men have married women who were married years ago, divorced early in life, remarried, raised a family, and then were widowed. All of them are doing well. No problems. People need to let these men decide what they believe the Lord would have them to do instead of trying to be an armchair quarterback. I'm sure they know the Lord's leadings better than us.

HappyChristian · October 11

Man-made rules hurt the church so much! I know of preachers who teach that a widowed pastor must never marry again because the Bible says "one wife." Total misapplication of what the verse is teaching.

I've also heard it taught vociferously that a pastor (or someone who is heading that way) must never marry a woman who has been divorced, widowed, or a woman who has , perhaps, been involved in an intimate relationship (before getting right with the Lord). They base this on Leviticus 21, which chapter details how a priest is to comport himself.

But the priests of the OT are not the pastors of the NT. Under grace, there is forgiveness and mercy. That doesn't mean a man who is/will become a pastor shouldn't be careful in picking out his mate. But the Bible teaches that all Christians should be.

BrotherTony · October 11

4 minutes ago, HappyChristian said:

Man-made rules hurt the church so much! I know of preachers who teach that a widowed pastor must never marry again because the Bible says "one wife." Total misapplication of what the verse is teaching.

I've also heard it taught vociferously that a pastor (or someone who is heading that way) must never marry a woman who has been divorced, widowed, or a woman who has , perhaps, been involved in an intimate relationship (before getting right with the Lord). They base this on Leviticus 21, which chapter details how a priest is to comport himself.

But the priests of the OT are not the pastors of the NT. Under grace, there is forgiveness and mercy. That doesn't mean a man who is/will become a pastor shouldn't be careful in picking out his mate. But the Bible teaches that all Christians should be.

The church I grew up in in Pekin Illinois did this to one of the men who had been saved in their church and gone on to Bible college and pastored churches across the country. His dear wife died from brain cancer. He remarried two years later. Several years later, when the church pastor I grew up in retired because of a heart attack, the church started looking for a new pastor. This man came back and candidated for the pastorate, but, several of the newer deacons, some of them Bible college trained, thought they would try to translate that verse that way...the husband of one wife. They were more than proud to have him preach many times over the years after his Bible college days, but they didn't want to have him as their pastor because he had remarried a widow. He later became the president of Midwestern Theological Seminary in Michigan. I always had so much respect for this man as when he got saved he TRULY changed from a drunkard to a man of God. I could NEVER read that verse that way. And, you're right, LuAnne, far too many people try to impose Levitical law on people in the church today.

TheGloryLand · October 13

On 10/11/2024 at 11:37 AM, HappyChristian said:

Man-made rules hurt the church so much! I know of preachers who teach that a widowed pastor must never marry again because the Bible says "one wife." Total misapplication of what the verse is teaching.

I've also heard it taught vociferously that a pastor (or someone who is heading that way) must never marry a woman who has been divorced, widowed, or a woman who has , perhaps, been involved in an intimate relationship (before getting right with the Lord). They base this on Leviticus 21, which chapter details how a priest is to comport himself.

But the priests of the OT are not the pastors of the NT. Under grace, there is forgiveness and mercy. That doesn't mean a man who is/will become a pastor shouldn't be careful in picking out his mate. But the Bible teaches that all Christians should be.

A single Pastor, then married to a widow, a new wife, sounds normal to me. But a woman who is just divorced still have her X husband. They can get counseling and maybe work things out. if the woman has children forget about it, and things will never be right. The woman that had a prior boyfriend or romance, but never live with that other person. Can be the wife to a single or widow Pastor. Now, if this woman did live with a man, it doesn’t matter how long, and now she want to marry the pastor. I wouldn’t recommend that this pastor takes her for a wife, for she may still be on fire for the man who hurt her feelings. This man can make the pastor's life miserable. I am not using scripture here for what I am saying, but it is pretty much practical common sense.

Edited October 14 by TheGloryLand
More information

HappyChristian · October 14

18 hours ago, TheGloryLand said:

A single Pastor, then married to a widow, a new wife, sounds normal to me. But a woman who is just divorced still have her X husband. They can get counseling and maybe work things out. if the woman has children forget about it, and things will never be right. The woman that had a prior boyfriend or romance, but never live with that other person. Can be the wife to a single or widow Pastor. Now, if this woman did live with a man, it doesn’t matter how long, and now she want to marry the pastor. I wouldn’t recommend that this pastor takes her for a wife, for she may still be on fire for the man who hurt her feelings. This man can make the pastor's life miserable. I am not using scripture here for what I am saying, but it is pretty much practical common sense.

Yes, divorce brings a lot of problem. I don't agree that a woman who has kids by other men but never husband would be better...because those kids still have a father who may cause problems. Most definitely there are many issues to consider.

1Timothy115 · October 15

On 9/21/2024 at 8:54 AM, Napsterdad said:

Once again, I am not stating that the prevailing IFB stance of no divorce for a pastor or deacon is wrong, I am just stating that I am not fully convinced.

I can understand Napsterdad...I'm not fully convinced either. I know what Christ said concerning divorce.