The Never Ending Story...

[No Nicolaitans]

After several hours of treacherous journeying, Jim and I arrived at our destination...the wilds of West Virginia...where Jim had a date to tame a wild beast of massive proportions...a leverian water newt.

 

[HappyChristian]

...whose last name was Gingrich...

[No Nicolaitans]

When Jim saw the leverian water newt Gingrich, he took a moment to surmise his opponent and plan his attack. Suddenly...with a blood-curdling scream...Jim made his move. As he jumped into the blitzkrieg, he could be heard saying...

[OLD fashioned preacher]

slimy, slippery, successor of the subtil Serpent surely still shall you lie after I insure with this sword that you tell no more lie even as you lie supine in the state in which I shall see you slither last.    (why do those with a lisp design sentences with Ss?)

[Covenanter]

but alas, the slimy, slippery, successor of the subtil Serpent slipped stealthily out of my grip, leaving me

[OLD fashioned preacher]

needing to get a grip on things.

 

Having failed Perkins' memory, it was time to find a less hazardous and less strenuous activity - like climbing Mt. McKinley to bungee jump from a rappelling line before releasing into a 60' dive into a wading pool.

 

While pondering my next move I got a quart Mason jar of ice tea and ...

[No Nicolaitans]

a Moon Pie.

[Covenanter]

then I realised that the slimy, slippery, successor of the subtil Serpent had me in his hypnotic stare

[HappyChristian]

as I began to sing, "the bluest skies I've ever seen are in...

[OLD fashioned preacher]

the depthssssss of your eyessssss ... I've got to break this hypnotic ssssssstare.

 

With that I ...

[Covenanter]

grabbed my only remaining weapon  - my trusty banjo

[Covenanter]

by now hopelessly out of tune

[OLD fashioned preacher]

Boy, this gaze is getting to me, HOPELESSLY out of tune??? It only has to hold tune long enough to send him away.

 

Nothing to tune off of but itself and what ear I have left, hmmm -- I think I have the D close enough to get going, 3rd open to 4th on the 5th fret, 2nd open to 3rd on 4th ------- wait, my G strings tuning app on my phone!!

 

As I progressed from Seeger folk style on At Calvary to Fleck melodic on Nothing but the Blood to Scruggs 3 finger on Power in the Blood, to a clawhammered There is a Fountain the successor of the Serpent acquired a purple tinge like a Blackberry Blossom and the Salty Dog went off like an Arkansas Traveler in search of a Turkey in the Straw.

 

That left me exhausted but concerned so I ...

[Genevanpreacher]

...uh...I...uh...

[ThePilgrim]

....uh . . . . I . . . uh . . . was speechless.