Would This Be A Good Church?

[Salyan]

I also don't wear dresses.  I dress modestly but not in dresses.  Can someone be straight forward with me and tell me if this is going to be a prOBlem?  No one was ever mean to me about it in the other church but some did look at my legs before my face.  It was weird.

 

That about them looking at your legs first? That's just plain rudeness.

In my church, the standard for serving as a member in church functions is that women have to be wearing a modest dress/skirt. That being said, the individual practices regarding dress at home vary widely. We have members that wear skirts-only, members that will wear either at home based on their activities, ones (like me) that will only wear pants for activities that involve snow & speed (skiing/sledding), and even one that will wear pants to church (that one isn't active in any ministries). That was all to let you know that individual interpretations of dress vary widely.  One can submit to the church's standard for ministry without necessarily adopting that as their own personal standard.
If you end up in a church like mine, or one I would personally choose to attend, you would not be required to wear skirts to attend or even to become a member. If you did join and chose to minister in certain areas, you prOBably would be required to adopt the dress code while serving in that ministry. That's not a big deal - everywhere has dress standards, why not God's house? Might you feel uncomfortable being the only lady in pants? Quite possibly. I would be. That's something you'd have to decide about yourself. I personally wouldn't want to give up on a great church just for that.

[GraceSaved]

Yes.  I agree.  I would adopt to the standard of a dress code as anywhere if there is one.  Since I was new to IFB at the time I first started attending, I noticed the women were in skirts so I asked if there was a dress code because I didn't want to feel out of place or offend anyone.  The pastor's wife assured me that it was based on one's convictions and I should come as I am.  I don't have those convictions and since they told me to come as I am, I didn't conform.  They should have told me this is our standard. 

[Salyan]

 They should have told me this is our standard. 

 

Just to clarify - because IFB churches are independent, there is no 'our' standard. Each church sets its own rules and its own standards. What one church allows another may not. You'll have to take them each on their own merits.

[2bLikeJesus]

My pastor definitely will preach dress standards from time to time, and also hair standards, but would never say a word, nor does anyone in our church say a word to any ladies or men who come in wearing pants or inappropriate hair style for their gender.  The only time I have ever heard my pastor say anything to someone in the congregation about appearance was when he asked one visitor to please cover his highly pornographic tattoos that were up and down his arm.  My pastor does hold those that are in an active ministry to the highest standard he preaches on, so any staff members must wear appropriate attire to the highest standard.  However, I know that our youth pastors daughters, while they always wear dresses and skirts to church or any church function are in pants often in public.  To my knowledge, nothing has been said to him. 

 

You could come to our church for years in blue jeans and no one would ever say anything to you directly, but you might feel uncomfortable with a message from time to time, and may feel self conscious because you would be dressed differently than the majority of the ladies. 

 

Bro. Garry

[HappyChristian]

Well, a church can't really (biblically) demand that all women wear dresses. Now, if a woman wants to teach or something, that's different. But not to just attend church.  Any church that does that doesn't understand how God works with individuals.

 

It is likely that the majority of women at this church do wear dresses.  Call and ask to know what to expect so there's no surprise if the majority of women are in dresses.

[GraceSaved]

Yes.  I already called and left a message to call me back.  I want to start off on the right foot.  However, I don't have any dresses right now if it is their standard.  It will take some time before I can get some.

[HappyChristian]

Yes.  I already called and left a message to call me back.  I want to start off on the right foot.  However, I don't have any dresses right now if it is their standard.  It will take some time before I can get some.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that the pastor prOBably teaches dress standards - prOBably not every Sunday, though   - and that the ladies who teach or do other things on a regular basis in the church do wear dresses/skirts...but that they'll say you are more than welcome even in your slacks. 

[No Nicolaitans]

I also felt like I wasn't getting any meat. 

 

You would definitely get meat from Pastor Brown at Oak Creek. 

[No Nicolaitans]

GraceSaved,

 

Pastor Brown is currently preaching through 1 Corinthians, and now might be a great time for you to start attending there considering the situation with your sister. This is his latest sermon from this past Sunday; it will give you an idea of what his preaching is like...plus...he's preaching on spiritual gifts. This sermon is mainly about the gift of apostleship (the first gift mentioned in 1 Corinthians 12:28).

 

http://www.sermonaudio.com/sermoninfo.asp?SID=97141155344

[GraceSaved]

I went last night and the Assistant Pastor was teaching in Proverbs.  They go through a lot of scripture which I really like.  I really enjoyed it. It is a very small group.  After the service they broke up into smaller groups for personal prayer.  This is what I've been looking for.  I think I can feel like I belong there and not just someone taking up a seat.  I had to kiss a few frogs before I found the prince.  LOL.  

 

I even wore a skirt.  Ha ha.  I wanted to start off on the right foot.  I did tell them I don't have a lot of dresses and will prOBably wear nice slacks in winter and they were very much ok with that and were sincere.  You can just tell.

 

I appreciate everyone on here who gave me advice and prayed for this situation.  This is my online church family.  :-)

[GraceSaved]

No Nic:  Thanks for sharing the link.  I am going to forward it to my sister's email.  Maybe she'll listen to it coming from some other than myself. 

[2bLikeJesus]

And we are as glad you found us as we are that you found a good church!  This is indeed excellent news all around!

 

Bro. Garry

[No Nicolaitans]

No Nic:  Thanks for sharing the link.  I am going to forward it to my sister's email.  Maybe she'll listen to it coming from some other than myself. 

 

Well, unfortunately he doesn't touch on tongues in that sermon...but perhaps it will stir her interest. I'm glad you liked the church! From my understanding the assistant pastor (Pastor Longsine...is his name I think) is fairly new at the church too.

[HappyChristian]

   

 

So, so happy you've found the right place now!