Communication

[AVBibleBeliever]

It is a scientific fact that ALL communication is 93% non verbal.

 

So then if that be true we are using only 7% of our ability to communicate clearly in this forum.

 

How do we improve our communication abilities in this forum so that people are not misunderstanding, misjudging, taking things the wrong way, when 93% of our communication is missing?

 

We are trying to communicate here with 7% of our ability communicate and it seems no one realizes that and so they interpret everything according to their mind set of any given individual then go on the defensive.  Generally making accusations they are rude, or being condensating but yet how do you know or judge that for sure when all you are dealing with is 7% of actual ability to communicate?

 

in the bible is is called using unbalanced scales or unjust weights.

[John81]

No, that's not a scientific fact.

 

Many postings are made too hastily, sometimes with too much emotion, sometimes more from the flesh than the Spirit, often without enough thought or proof reading.

 

We can help the communication process by taking more time with our writing. We should post from a position of calmness, not frustration, anger or rage. We should be careful not to assume a word or statement is meant to be bad, unless such is clearly the case. It would help to ask questions if we are concerned about something and to do so in a good manner. If we post out of love, our posts will be much more readable and less likely to upset.

 

All too often the flesh is evident in our postings when we act offended, lash out, make a discussion personal, take verbal jabs, accuse and insinuate.

 

None of us are perfect so there will always be some miscommunication issues. If we really worked at communicating, rather than simply trying to prove ourselves right at any cost, that would be a big help. If we were truly posting for the glory of the Lord, in accord with His commands regarding love and the other fruits of the Spirit, remembering we are His family called to love one another and help one another, that would change the way we post.

[AVBibleBeliever]

John it is a fact.  It comes straight from JAMA as they have been studying it for years in trying to improve teamwork through collegian interaction.  It is a solid scientific fact the 93% of communication is non verbal. 

 

then that would mean we are using only 7% of our ability to communicate clearly.  leaving the reader to interpret the other 93% with their mindset and attitude to interpret what someone says and means.

 

So how could we improve our communication on forums when we are only using 7% of our communication abilities?

 

Let me start.

 

We must be willing to admit we are missing 93% of effective communication and thereby re-read things three times and without interpreting with a pre-imposed attitude. 

 

We need to try and bring about a change in forum communication to where people are not so easily offended and attacking each other.

 

You were quick to reply that it is not a scientific fact.  And there in as you say lies part of the prOBlem, quick replies.  Take a few minutes to meditate on the subject, go back reread, meditate some more, then reply with grace.

 

In forum communication we lack 1) eye contact, 2) body language, 3) intonation of speach, 4) emotional interaction.  All we have on forums are written words that lack all other parts of communication.

[AVBibleBeliever]

Just so no one misunderstands I am not talking about how God's word has been preserved for us.  God has communicated in and with all means of the communication spectrum.  what we have left is only the preserved written medium in the AV Bible.

 

This thread is on how WE communicate poorly and need to better communicate our ideas and thoughts without attack and criticism dripping from every sentence.

 

Were are to mutually respect one another but lately some are acting very disrespectful and I am deeply hurt by it.  And in trying to understand I have found that the prOBlem is us We are human and we are not perfect and we will make mistakes, and that we are using a very poor medium in which to communicate.  and in such many are misinterpreting what others are saying.

 

So then if this be true then how can we improve our experience here and enjoy each others fellowship, and share our thoughts and ideas without it turning to childish banter and false accusations as a means of reply.

 

I am not perfect and I only want to make this a better place and better forum for us over all.  I hate all this childish sarcasm and labeling, and the biting words meant to hurt and not encourage.   It is discouraging.

 

I and others have been devastated by some of the hurtful words and actions of many of you here.  Why wont you help make this a better place, a place we can actually say is "Christian".  Because if you don't those who come here will say, this is nothing different than the forum over on Huffington Post.

[Invicta]

Is not the communication on this site non verbal?

[ThePilgrim]

Is not the communication on this site non verbal?

Yes indeed it is and I am glad it is.  You see some (such as I) have trouble with face to face communication.  I can't explain why that is, and I can't say it is a scientific fact, but it is a fact.

I can converse much easier with the written word than I can vocally, face to face.  I have a slow brain I guess, but I need time to pull together what I want to say . . . . to attempt to have it make any semblance of sense at all to another person.  And sometimes even after spending time to pull my thoughts together it still makes little sense to another person.  When speaking I do a lot of stumbling, trying to find a word that might communicate my thought to the other person in a coherant fashion.

 

I agree we should think about what we are going to say before we say it and I also think sometimes I think we should be silent.  The forum format gives the time to post or respond to a post after a time of thought.  We don't have to put our mouth in gear before the brain is fully engaged.  This brings to mind the posts on time . . . . we creatures have it . . . . lets use it.

 

I spent some time on this and it may not make any sense but it is what I wrote so I am stuck with it.  

[2bLikeJesus]

Personally, I am a MUCH better communicator through text, emails, forums, blogs, or any written communication than I am verbal.  My mouth too often runs ahead of my brain and I say stupid stuff and have to put my foot in it.  My fingers don't seem to have this prOBlem since I have to think more to use them and I have the luxury of time to think things through before I type them.  If I am forced to talk to someone, even then I prefer it to be on the phone rather than in person. I do not know why this is, but I have always been at my best when communicating non-direct.  It has nothing to do with shyness (I cold call door to door for soul winning), and I have no issues with speaking in front of large crowds if I have well prepared material and plenty of practice time.   I do not do impromptu well at all, and being called on during church to lead in prayer about causes me to run screaming from the sanctuary.  Thankfully my pastor knows this now and does not call on me.  I guess I am a complicated mix of introvert/extrovert.  

 

Bro. Garry

[woolysheep]

Yes indeed it is and I am glad it is.  You see some (such as I) have trouble with face to face communication.  I can't explain why that is, and I can't say it is a scientific fact, but it is a fact.

I can converse much easier with the written word than I can vocally, face to face.  I have a slow brain I guess, but I need time to pull together what I want to say . . . . to attempt to have it make any semblance of sense at all to another person.  And sometimes even after spending time to pull my thoughts together it still makes little sense to another person.  When speaking I do a lot of stumbling, trying to find a word that might communicate my thought to the other person in a coherant fashion.

 

I agree we should think about what we are going to say before we say it and I also think sometimes I think we should be silent.  The forum format gives the time to post or respond to a post after a time of thought.  We don't have to put our mouth in gear before the brain is fully engaged.  This brings to mind the posts on time . . . . we creatures have it . . . . lets use it.

 

I spent some time on this and it may not make any sense but it is what I wrote so I am stuck with it.  

Thanks for sharing.

 

 Much of what you write I understand personally.

 

Though my brain goes too fast

[AVBibleBeliever]

Is not the communication on this site non verbal?

Yes and as such we lose 93% of the way we communicate with people because 93% of our communication is non-verbal.  some disagree but that is a scientific fact.  and as such we need to be careful not to interpret written words with out own preconceived attitudes and emotions or assumption of attitude and emotion.

 

When we lack voice intonation, body language, emotional intonation and eye to eye contact we must then first as writers write clearly and express ourselves very clearly so nothing is left for misinterpretation or misunderstanding.

 

AS readers must must note whether the writer has clearly input his emotion and attitude into the text.  If it is not there we must re-read with no interpretation or emotion and and take it as if they have none.  If they have none then we cannot react to their writing as if they did. 

 

Some interpret arrogance when there was none.  How is that because people ASSUME from phrases that the persona is speaking in arrogance, when in fact it was not communicated in the text for the writer to take is that way.  If you think that and there is no arrogance communicated then you would be wrong to assume arrogance or any other attitude.  You must re-read the text through a few times making the last read through without a preconceived attitude or emotion and respond in like tone.

 

But some have communicated exactly who they feel without regard to how it affects the reader.  Eventually all you see is banter and arguing.

 

We must identify what word convey attitudes we would not want people to misunderstand and interpret it in that way and the reader must also know that not allows are people speaking the way they feel one is.  give each person the benefit of the doubt before responding in like manner.

 

Paul put it this way, Php 2:3, 4 Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.   Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.

 

Have lowliness of mind when reading and responding you might come out a bit more knowledgeable in true love and esteem for others.

[Anon]

Pretty sure the study is alluding to the fact that communication is more about attitude, facial expressions, and body language than it is the words. Which has nothing to do with an unbalanced weight.

I can say the word "Wow", and depending on my body language and face, it can mean anything from surprise, to disgust, to excitement, to sarcasm. That is just one small example on communication being mostly non-verbal.

[DaveW]

The "93%" is not relating to written words at all.
The original study that came up with that figure was about relating emotions, not information.
It is often wrongly applied to general speech as it has been here.

But it makes a better story the way it is related here - even if it is totally irrelevant to written communication and to communication of information.

[ThePilgrim]

The "93%" is not relating to written words at all.
The original study that came up with that figure was about relating emotions, not information.
It is often wrongly applied to general speech as it has been here.

But it makes a better story the way it is related here - even if it is totally irrelevant to written communication and to communication of information.

Yeah I know it isn't but I don't think a lot of non-verbal communication makes verbal communication that much clearer.   I have to wonder what the percentage of non-verbal information is really relevent communication.

I mean how much is used for adding meanings and cues that do not really clarify what is said verbally.  For instance, eye contact, facial expressions, and body and hand movements can be manipulative.  They can be a means of concealing the real truth of what is verbally communicated.  They don't necessarily help in conveying truth.  

 

Feigned excitement or remorse or whatever does not make for good communication . . . . and some people are really good at it, especially if the verbal communication is something the listener wants to hear.

 

Nuff said.

[Alimantado]

I am not perfect and I only want to make this a better place and better forum for us over all.  I hate all this childish sarcasm and labeling, and the biting words meant to hurt and not encourage.   It is discouraging.

 

I and others have been devastated by some of the hurtful words and actions of many of you here.  Why wont you help make this a better place, a place we can actually say is "Christian".  Because if you don't those who come here will say, this is nothing different than the forum over on Huffington Post.

 

Appreciate your efforts here, AVBB. In my opinion, though, it's not something that 'many' on the forum are doing. I think most folk are able to discuss, get their points across and wind up a discussion without any reviling. The last few contributors to this thread spring to mind: The Pilgrim, Kitagirl, woolysheep, 2bLikeJesus. Maybe you and I should watch what they do, AVBB.

[AVBibleBeliever]

Remember that most people write the way they speak, not as journalist, not a novelist or other writers.

 

and many are not interpreting their post as such.

 

It is just about being careful about how you read into text things (ie attitude and emotion) the text does not say or reveal.

[DaveW]

It is scientific fact that the 93% figure is not universally accepted in any case, and it relates ONLY to the emotions and feelings that are related in speech.
It has absolutely nothing to do with written information.