The Truth...whether You Like It Or Not!

[JerryNumbers]

A lady in our church told my wife that she (my wife) and I were the only two people that she (aforementioned church lady) had ever met that reads the instructions!

 

Why would you read instructions?  Isn't instructions for the last resort? that is after everything else has failed.

[JerryNumbers]

Husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge-just the point I was going to make.

 

I suspect, however, that women don't really understand men any better than men understand women. We could if we wanted to, but I suspect many just don't want to make the effort-men treat women like a man, and women treat a man like a woman, as far as thinking processes.

 

Like, Women, please don't make men read your mind-speak your mind, don't make us guess. 

 

No! That's totally wrong.

 

Like in a movie I once saw, this man had come back from the war & his girl friend was dating someone else.

 

She says something like this, "You never asked."

 

He says, "No, I didn't, but that's the way its suppose to be, you know it, I know it, everyone knows it, so I don't have to ask."   

[JerryNumbers]

If women came with instructions, the instruction book would be larger than a Bible & would be so complicated no man would ever understand.

[HappyChristian]

For the last three years of my marriage, before my wife walked out on me, I had no idea there was anything wrong. After she left and we were talking again, she admitted that she never said anyting was wrong, and it caused her to resent me terribly because I couldn't figure it out myself. This is the problem-its not a man needing clarification, it a woman who says NOTHING, and expects us to know what is wrong.

 

Its not just men, though, because women treat each other the same way-they will carry something against anoother woman and never say anything until it becomes hatred. My wife had a friend who recent;ly dcided she was moving, For the last few days she never spoke to my wife, though before that every thing was very friendly, so there was no reason to think anything was amiss. The day she told us she was moving-that day-, my wife said she was acting very angry at her, but wouldn't say why. All she said was, "You should know what's wrong!" She doesn't-to this day.

 

Men tend to be more open and direct, both to women and other men. We get things out, which is why we can go to  blows with someone and hvae a burger together the next day-once its done, its done.

 

Yup, us men are pretty much perfect. 

Oh, I agree there are women who don't say anything, nor even give a hint that there's a problem (or at least that they think there's one).  It's kind of hard to ask for clarification in a case like that, and that's not what I was referring to.  (See, even though I've already said it twice, it's still being misunderstood. Men!  )  I'm talking about when a woman DOES say something and the hubby doesn't understand...he shouldn't act like he does, nor should he assume he knows specifically if he's kind of doubting.  Asking is simple, and, believe me, women appreciate their men thinking enough of them to ask for clarification if they kind of misunderstand.  Now, if you ask and she says, "nothing" she really means something, but usually just wants a hug. (I say usually, because there are always those women who really just want to pout and cast blame).

 

Yes, men tend to be more open and direct, but there are times they aren't. More often than you might think, actually, since you are a man (and other men, too  ).  There are times my hubby will say something and he will think that I know exactly what he's referencing (yes, I do it to him, too...). When I ask for clarification, he will sometimes get upset because he honestly thinks I'm playing dumb.  When I explain to him why I didn't understand, HE understands and clarifies.  Communication is a two-way street and all too often men, who are usually open and direct with their male friends, aren't as communicative with their wives as they might think they are.   Because, you know, it's that perfection thing...

[HappyChristian]

Sorry I misunderstood what you meant. I was referring to when people don't tell someone something and then expect for them to figure out how they feel, or such things. And yes, I agree that there is something very wrong in the marriage when it causes those things. But, as anyone who deals with people on a regular basis knows, it happens all to often. The worse thing that a upset husband or wife can do is to go tell all their "friends" what their spouse did to upset them. But, again, it happens all to often.

Agreed - so, really, you thought I was saying the opposite of what I was saying.  hehehe - see, clarification is sometimes needed.  LOL.

 

It does happen all too often, and lack of genuine communication is the key (of course, one's spiritual maturity is uppermost the reason). I totally agree that it is horrid for a spouse to talk about their spouse in that manner.  I've made it a practice purposely NOT to talk bad about my husband - now, I will tease him. Like last night, he was waiting for me when our prayer group got out.  Often he comes to our group and I'm speaking with one of the ladies (usually the same one) and he takes my arm or something.  We all laugh. And at times, I tease him about me waiting for him, which I do, while he's chatting with someone.  It's all in good fun, and we aren't criticizing each other at all.

 

But! If we have a serious disagreement, no-one knows about it.

 

I had a friend who was dating someone and she would come to me to talk about things.  She was not married to him yet, so he wasn't her head. She had been married before and had a big trust issue due to her former husband having been a whoremonger from the get-go in their marriage.  Anyway, because of that, she would often talk to me about things they discussed.  After they had dated for a while, and it was obvious that marriage was going to be the result, I began to get more and more uncomfortable with some of the discussions we had.  So, after talking it over with my hubby, I went to the man (in the halls at church, never in private) and asked him how I could help the situation. Among other things, he told me that he was really trying to get her to understand that when she had problems, she needed to go to him about them instead of everyone else.  That was all I needed to hear.  The next time we talked, I told her that, as much as I loved her, she could no longer discuss with me certain things, that she HAD to trust the man she was about to marry or her marriage would not be what it should be.  It seemed like a light went off in her head at that, and that was all it took.  They have a strong marriage, we are still good friends, but she doesn't talk about issues she shouldn't.  Sometimes all it takes is a friend to point out what should be obvious, but in this voyeuristic society in which we live it isn't.

[Pastor Scott Markle]

Concerning the "humorous" point that it is impossible for men to understand women, I must admit that I am a bit grieved by our continuing focus as believer upon this point of humor.  Indeed, I fear that this point of humor is easily employed by our adversary the devil as a tool to deceive our hearts and thereby to destroy our marriage relationships.  Yea, the deception is as follows:  If it is practically impossible for a man to understand a woman, and as a corollary for a husband to understand his wife, then there is no point for the husband even to make the attempt.  Yet God's Holy Word in 1 Peter 3:7 instructs the husband to dwell at harmony with his wife in accord with his knowledge and understanding of her.  By implication this Biblical instruction gives to the husband the responsibility to pursue knowing and understanding his wife.  Furthermore, God's Word never indicates the idea that it is practically impossible for a husband to know and understand his wife.  Therefore, the truthfulness of this socially acceptable maxim seems to lack any real Biblical authority.  Finally, the claim within this socially acceptable maxim that there is no instructive guide for the husband in seeking to know and understand his wife is Biblically false.  Pursuing a knowledge and understanding of one's wife (or, of any individual for that matter) is primarily founded upon the principles of good, godly communication.  Even so, God Himself had indeed given us an instructive guide for the husband to know and understand his wife through good, godly communication.  This instructive guide is God's Holy Word itself!  Yes, the guidance and instruction of God's Holy Word concerning interpersonal relationships and concerning the marriage relationship is all-sufficient for the husband's responsibility to pursue knowing and understanding his wife.

 

Well, that was my soapbox moment for this morning.

[Galations 2:20]

God has given us much instruction in His Word about marriage.  Often either Christians have not read these instructions in His manual or listen to the world's solutions instead.

 

Marriage is a triangle relationship between God, the husband, and wife, in that order.  We must understand God before we can understand and relate in other relationships, especially marriage!

 

Our marriages are an outer picture of our inner heart condition.  Like a reflection of our relationship to Jesus Christ.

[JerryNumbers]

Amazing that some chime in because of the humor of this topic giving lectures.  And the fact is this topic started out with humor so no one should be surprised if much humor is passed out all though this topic. >The first post in this topic can be seen right here. So if you have a problem with the humor side of this topic when you read that 1st post you should just quietly drop out & ignore it letting others share a bit of humor.

 

Having been married since May 18, 1968 never separated never a threat of separation I feel i could give some very good advice on the subject of marriage, & one I will give now, never forget to included some humor in your marriage, along with laughter.

 

Pr 17:22 A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.

 

I sure don't want to be like the last part of that important verse from the book of Proverbs.

 

PS. If this first post under this topic had not been humor & was addressing an important issue about marriage I would not be making this post & would think we should stick to the point trying to help that person. >Again, see the 1st post.

[HappyChristian]

Amazing that some chime in because of the humor of this topic giving lectures.  And the fact is this topic started out with humor so no one should be surprised if much humor is passed out all though this topic. >The first post in this topic can be seen right here. So if you have a problem with the humor side of this topic when you read that 1st post you should just quietly drop out & ignore it letting others share a bit of humor.

 

Having been married since May 18, 1968 never separated never a threat of separation I feel i could give some very good advice on the subject of marriage, & one I will give now, never forget to included some humor in your marriage, along with laughter.

 

Pr 17:22 A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.

 

I sure don't want to be like the last part of that important verse from the book of Proverbs.

 

PS. If this first post under this topic had not been humor & was addressing an important issue about marriage I would not be making this post & would think we should stick to the point trying to help that person. >Again, see the 1st post.

Even humor threads can turn serious...

[heartstrings]

Marriage is a sanctum best fortified with love and generous amounts of humor.

[Pastor Scott Markle]

Amazing that some chime in because of the humor of this topic giving lectures.  And the fact is this topic started out with humor so no one should be surprised if much humor is passed out all though this topic. >The first post in this topic can be seen right here. So if you have a problem with the humor side of this topic when you read that 1st post you should just quietly drop out & ignore it letting others share a bit of humor.

 

Having been married since May 18, 1968 never separated never a threat of separation I feel i could give some very good advice on the subject of marriage, & one I will give now, never forget to included some humor in your marriage, along with laughter.

 

Pr 17:22 A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.

 

I sure don't want to be like the last part of that important verse from the book of Proverbs.

 

PS. If this first post under this topic had not been humor & was addressing an important issue about marriage I would not be making this post & would think we should stick to the point trying to help that person. >Again, see the 1st post.

 

Brother "No Nicolaitans,"

 

I took notice that you have expressed your approval of Brother Jerry's rebuke by "liking" it.  Since you started this thread and thus possess some level of ownership over it, and since both of my posting on this thread could be classified as "lectures" and thus would be encompassed under Brother Jerry's rebuke, I wish to publicly ask your forgiveness for so invading your thread in this manner.  Brother "No Nicolaitans," will you forgive me?

[No Nicolaitans]

Brother "No Nicolaitans,"

 

I took notice that you have expressed your approval of Brother Jerry's rebuke by "liking" it.  Since you started this thread and thus possess some level of ownership over it, and since both of my posting on this thread could be classified as "lectures" and thus would be encompassed under Brother Jerry's rebuke, I wish to publicly ask your forgiveness for so invading your thread in this manner.  Brother "No Nicolaitans," will you forgive me?

 

You have no need to ask for an apology Bro. Scott.  

 

My original intent for posting the joke (and the title of the thread) was two-fold...

1. I thought the joke was funny and thought others might enjoy it.
2. While it is a joke, it touches on a problem that I hoped might make people stop and think. I also thought that pastors or teachers might could implement the joke into their teaching as a way to "break the ice" if they ever preach or teach on the subject covered in the joke.

You brought out a lot of great points, and I certainly wasn't offended by what you posted in any shape, form, or fashion.  Sometimes humor has a way of breaking down some barriers that other approaches fail in.

[JerryNumbers]

Even humor threads can turn serious...

 

 

Yes it can but the lecture on humor should have been completely left off being as it started off with humor for its quite clear he was putting us down, scolding us when he should not have.

[JerryNumbers]

Brother "No Nicolaitans,"

 

I took notice that you have expressed your approval of Brother Jerry's rebuke by "liking" it.  Since you started this thread and thus possess some level of ownership over it, and since both of my posting on this thread could be classified as "lectures" and thus would be encompassed under Brother Jerry's rebuke, I wish to publicly ask your forgiveness for so invading your thread in this manner.  Brother "No Nicolaitans," will you forgive me?

 

As for me, Forgiven.

[JerryNumbers]

Marriage is a sanctum best fortified with love and generous amounts of humor.

 

Yes, for sure.

 

Once several years back a person asked me how long Linda & I had been married, I said forever.

 

He them said the next time he saw Linda & I together he was going to ask her that question, & he did.

 

My wife totally surprised, you could see it in his eyes, him giving him the same answer I did, I believe he rightly hoped it would not go that direction but cause conflict.