Wedding dresses

[John81]

Why do so many Christian women, just like secular women, get married wearing strapless wedding dresses that cover very little? I've noticed even among Christian women who typically dress modestly, when they get married they wear one of these dresses. Why are these style of dresses considered appropriate for a Christian woman to wear for her wedding? Why would a Christian husband want so much of his bride to be exposed during their wedding? What about the parents and others? What about the pastors performing the weddings and so often having their picture taken with the bride?

I've wondered about this for some time but I've never heard a good answer.

[Miss Linda]

I can only guess that they succumb to a desire to "look fashionable" during one of the most important days of their lives. While I can understand the desire to look one's best on one's wedding day, this truly is not the way to do it.

If you conduct a Google search for "modest wedding dresses" it is quite shocking to see what people consider modest. I see pictures of exposed neck and chest areas, arms and/or shoulders exposed--not a high-necked dress among the lot until you see the Muslim wedding gowns which are stunning in their beauty and their modesty.

Like you, John81, I am mystified by the lack of standards when it comes to the wedding gowns Christian women choose to wear. The bride will be the focus of more attention during that ceremony than she might otherwise experience in her life. A wedding is an important opportunity to express to those who are watching that modesty is an important virtue and that Christian women are not pieces of meat to be placed on display for any eyes to see.

[HappyChristian]

I can honestly say I've never attended a wedding where the bride wore an immodest gown. I have seen pictures, though...

When standards drop due to the idea that we have personal liberty, and cultural changes are allowed to be added into standards, all sorts of things change.

[JerryNumbers]

Most of them do not know any better, they grow up in liberal Christian homes attending liberal churches while their father and mother only act Christians at the times they're in church while letting their children do many things that no child should partake of, because its leads them to walk with old Satan.

[Crushmaster]

It don't make sense to me, but that's how it is.
God bless,
Joel ><>.
2 Chronicles 7:14; Romans 5:8.

[John81]

I'm not all that surprised by those who come from more liberal churches, but I've seen this even among Christian women from the more conservative churches. I think it was last year that I saw pictures in a local paper of a pastors daughter from a biblically sound, conservative church wearing such a dress. That was surprising to me.

Being in such a rural area I guess the papers have little else to do so they print lots of wedding pictures and the vast majority of brides are wearing this style of dress.

Myself, I wouldn't even think a good Christian woman could feel comfortable dressed in such a revealing dress, especially in front of so many other people and inside a church. I know as a groom I wouldn't feel comfortable with my bride dressed like that.

It is true that what many consider modest today isn't even close. For many, unless private areas are not completely exposed, they are being modest. Sad to say, many Christian woman hold to this view too.

A year or so ago Nancy Leigh DeMoss (I know some don't care for her) did an excellent series of broadcasts on modesty. Apparently many Christian women in the area listen to her. I recall some of the women talking about the program as they were standing together and several of the women proclaiming how wrong it is to expect women to give up their "right" to dress however they want, in whatever they are comfortable in, and how it was the man's problem if he couldn't see her without lusting. Most of the women in this group are members of local churches.

[BlessedChristianlady8]

When I was picking dresses with my mom my mom picked out with her first attempt to show me a dress. This dress had long sleeves, the bust area was covered and it went on like a normal dress and a long puffy train. The back of the dress crossed over like a heart shape. I told my mom I wanted this dress. No woman or bride to be picks her wedding dress is on shot I must be an odd ball. I didn't spend no more then 5-10 mins looking while my mom seen the dress.
I don't like strapless anything however, I settled for some strapless for the brides made dresses because it had a scarf type of thing for them. My sister had inserted spahgetti straps on hers. I wanted a more traditional color and type but, the girls picked out the style , I picked out the color. However they looked nice actually.

Also about Nancy Leigh Demoss about modesty I listened to that program and I agree with her. When I and my husband renews our wedding vows in a few years or so its going to be in a Baptist Church , old fashioned way and no dancing , no drinking and no partying, Its going have a dinner after the cermony and I and my husband wants to do this to witness to our families and also other people what a tradional wedding and marriage suppose to be.

[John81]

When I was picking dresses with my mom my mom picked out with her first attempt to show me a dress. This dress had long sleeves, the bust area was covered and it went on like a normal dress and a long puffy train. The back of the dress crossed over like a heart shape. I told my mom I wanted this dress. No woman or bride to be picks her wedding dress is on shot I must be an odd ball. I didn't spend no more then 5-10 mins looking while my mom seen the dress.
I don't like strapless anything however, I settled for some strapless for the brides made dresses because it had a scarf type of thing for them. My sister had inserted spahgetti straps on hers. I wanted a more traditional color and type but, the girls picked out the style , I picked out the color. However they looked nice actually.

Also about Nancy Leigh Demoss about modesty I listened to that program and I agree with her. When I and my husband renews our wedding vows in a few years or so its going to be in a Baptist Church , old fashioned way and no dancing , no drinking and no partying, Its going have a dinner after the cermony and I and my husband wants to do this to witness to our families and also other people what a tradional wedding and marriage suppose to be.

:clapping:

[Miss Linda]

Just look at this photograph of a wedding party. Everyone is dressed in a modest and dignified manner. The bride is properly covered, and her bridesmaids actually look like maidens--rather than women of ill repute. Why do contemporary bridesmaid dresses display as much of the upper body and arms as possible (without getting arrested), and practically all of their legs?

Were I ever to have been married, this would have been the style of wedding dress I would have chosen (well, perhpas without quite such a long train). Of course, I turn 45 in two weeks, so clearly that's not going to ever happen. :badday:

[Miss Linda]

When I was picking dresses with my mom my mom picked out with her first attempt to show me a dress. This dress had long sleeves, the bust area was covered and it went on like a normal dress and a long puffy train. The back of the dress crossed over like a heart shape. I told my mom I wanted this dress. No woman or bride to be picks her wedding dress is on shot I must be an odd ball. I didn't spend no more then 5-10 mins looking while my mom seen the dress.
I don't like strapless anything however, I settled for some strapless for the brides made dresses because it had a scarf type of thing for them. My sister had inserted spahgetti straps on hers. I wanted a more traditional color and type but, the girls picked out the style , I picked out the color. However they looked nice actually.

Also about Nancy Leigh Demoss about modesty I listened to that program and I agree with her. When I and my husband renews our wedding vows in a few years or so its going to be in a Baptist Church , old fashioned way and no dancing , no drinking and no partying, Its going have a dinner after the cermony and I and my husband wants to do this to witness to our families and also other people what a tradional wedding and marriage suppose to be.

David Cloud wrote a wonderful book that I recommend: "Dressing for the Lord". I highly recommend it.

[John81]

Just look at this photograph of a wedding party. Everyone is dressed in a modest and dignified manner. The bride is properly covered, and her bridesmaids actually look like maidens--rather than women of ill repute. Why do contemporary bridesmaid dresses display as much of the upper body and arms as possible (without getting arrested), and practically all of their legs?

Were I ever to have been married, this would have been the style of wedding dress I would have chosen (well, perhpas without quite such a long train). Of course, I turn 45 in two weeks, so clearly that's not going to ever happen.

Beatutiful! Younger people seem to think we must have been married in winter because of the modest wedding dress my wife wore.

There was a big wedding near here of a girl and boy from a Christian family and they put huge pictures of themselves and the wedding party in a local paper. I had seen some short dresses at weddings before but most of the dresses at this wedding looked more like mini-skirts! Of course they were all strapless and with being like mini-skirts those "dresses" probably didn't cover much, if any, more than what a towel wrapped around them would have.

With Christians being so much like the world is it any wonder so many see nothing in Christianity that appeals to them? After all, why bother with all that "church stuff" when your life is already about the same as those "church people"?

[Miss Linda]

With Christians being so much like the world is it any wonder so many see nothing in Christianity that appeals to them? After all, why bother with all that "church stuff" when your life is already about the same as those "church people"?

That is so very true. Sometimes attending weddings and funerals are the only occasions a person might have for actually setting foot in a church. If that is the case, shouldn't godly people use that opportunity to show that there is a better way than the world's way? On a wedding day, of all days, one should seek to honor God while seeking His blessing on your earthly life together.

[John81]

This thread also reminded me of how the tradition of bachelor parties, and bachelorette parties today, go. For the most part, Christians have very similar, and sometimes the same, type of parties as do the lost. Many Christians in this area go to the casino on the other side of the river for their parties. While bachelors parties have the reputation for being wild and sinful, it seems today bachelorette parties are just as bad or worse.

I've heard, and even seen pictures posted online, of Christians bachelor or bachelorette parties and virtually all of them involved excessive drinking of alcohol, often there is gambling, many times there is a perverse sex aspect (whether a porn movie, stripper, etc.). These are the Christians! Such parties would be bad enough if they were only attend by other Christians like them but most often they have many lost friends there as well. What must they think of these Christians?

One thing that really made me think of this recently was that we have a young couple in our church that will be wed in a couple of weeks. Prior to our Sunday school class I heard the young lady mention that her fiancee had his bachelor's party the day/night before and wouldn't be there that morning. At first I was a bit shocked and hoping that he hadn't went out and got drunk. Then she told us what they had done for his bachelors party and the fact that it was some distance away which is why he wouldn't be there that morning.

For his bachelors party they went out playing golf in the morning. In the afternoon they went skeet shooting. That night they had a BBQ at a friends house in the country and later shot off a bunch of fireworks.

That was it. No booze fest, no gambling trips, now wayward women. Just the groom-to-be, a few male friends and male family members, and an entire day doing "guy things". What a breath of fresh air and what a wonderful witness!

[HappyChristian]

That's such a neat picture, Miss Linda! The dresses are similar to what you would find at weddings in our church. I say similar, because the bridesmaid dresses might not always be floor length - but they are never above the calf. Some of the wedding dresses might have a long train, but not all of them.

My wedding dress was modest. It was, however, more like a day dress. It was not floor length, but did come below my knees well. At the last minute, I had to have a substitute for my maid of honor, so one of my sisters-in-law stood with me. The amazing thing is (God is good, even in "little" things) that she had a blue dress that was identical to my wedding dress! Our wedding was supposed to be blue (I guess red, white and blue , unintentionally, because My hubby wore a blue suit, as did our dads; the flowers were all red roses; my matron of honor was in blue, and I was in white. ). We got married in my hubby's parents' yard - under two trees that joined together in an arch. It was lovely.

We don't have bachelor or bachelorette parties. We do have a bridal shower, but it's just plain clean fun. No booze of any kind, just cake, punch and possibly some snacks. (Sometimes not even cake, just different snacks). Games and gifts. That's it, pretty much. Sounds banal, but it's always fun.

Oh, and BTW, Miss Linda - it's never too late! Many people get married at the far end of 40 or later... :saint2:

[Miss Linda]

I shudder to think of a "Christian" bachelor party conducted in the way of the world. When did bachelor and bachelorette parties become a license to debauchery? And when did we start having "bachelorette" parties anyway? I seem to remember that there were bridal showers for the bride and a bachelor party for the groom. Perhaps the bride and her brides"maids" decided the men were going to behave badly so they would to?

I like the idea of a bachelor party such as the one you described, John. How wonderful that they took him to a country house and had a fireworks display!! I can just imagine the fun they had--young men, open fields, explosive devices--what's not to love?

LuAnne, your wedding day sounds so beautiful! And so patriotic! The kind of bridal shower you describe is just what we do too. Homemade treats, held in someone's home or at the church, lots of laughter and wonderful fellowship. No alcohol consumption, no hotel rooms, no trips to Las Vegas that no one ever speaks about. At the end of the shower everyone gathers in a circle with the bride-to-be in the center, and we each take turns praying for her. It's such a wonderful, sweet time of fellowship!!!

LuAnne, thank you so much for your kind words. I don't hold out much hope, but I try to remind myself that God knows the plans He has for me, "thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end." I confess that as each year passes by, I recognize the likelihood of that ever happening is slipping away. But, at least I know that if it ever did happen I could make my own wedding dress! :)

Edited June 21, 2011 by Miss Linda