Moving in together

[Madeline]

Me and my BF are thinking of purchasing this Condo and moving in together. Would this be a dangerous move since we're not married yet? He usually stays overnight at my apartment on the weekends (no funny business) and is extremely committed to remain celibate until we're married, and so am I. So, I'm thinking it would be ok for us to move in together? What do you think?

Love,
Madeline

[Flourgirl]

I personally do not think that it would be a good idea. I know that you say that both of you are committed to save yourselves for marriage, but that old ugly temptation is always there to bug us. And what kind of a testimony would you be portraying by moving in with your boyfried? Please know that I am not trying to judge you, just trying to answer your question, and give a little advice. I will be praying that you make the right decision. :pray

[Madeline]

And what kind of a testimony would you be portraying by moving in with your boyfried?

I know you're not juding me and I gladly appreciate any advice. Concerning moving in together...we're actually trying to move in together because of the Condominium. It is in a perfect location for the both of us and very convenient in terms of commute. If we put our finances together we can purchase it before someone else does.

Love,
Madeline

[5dumplings@home]

Not a wise idea. First of all, co-habitating is very dangerous. No matter how committed you may be to celibacy, tempation grows.

Next, you may not be together next month. What if you own a condo together?

Next, as separated Christians, we ought to be portraying ourselves differently from the world views on co-habitating.

And probably a million different reasons that aren't even coming to mind.

[speerjp1]

Why not just get married?

Problem solved. :thumb

[kevinmiller]

Whoa....not a good idea. You might feel like you can handle it, but a guy living alone with a girl is not a good idea, especially when he has feelings for her. No, no, no, not a good idea. The Bible makes it clear that a woman leaves her father and mother at the time of marriage to cleave unto her husband, not before. Living together would not be moral and could quite possibly take you down a road that you don't want to go. Suppose you break up? Just suppose. Then what? What do you do with the condo? What if something does happen that you never meant to? Way to many risks.

And then there's the issue of your testimony. You might not be sleeping together but everyone on your block and everyone else who finds out about it will assume that you are. Even if you tell them you're not(which you won't be able to do to the vast majority), they won't believe you. In my opinion, it has great potential for damage to the reputation of Christ.

[Psalms18_28]

Don't do it, I been there before I was saved. It's a major heartbreak. And you will be stuck with a condo payment if things don't work out for you and him. It is very easy for two people to break up than to divorce so that's why I said you will end up being stuck with the payment.

Even if you don't have sex, It is still a bad role model for younger teens.

Don't worry, the Lord will provide for you if you wait.

[Anon]

Madeline you know the Bible too well to ask such a thing...to avoid fornication let every man have his OWN WIFE right?

You know better. :smile

[IM4given]

Me and my BF are thinking of purchasing this Condo and moving in together. Would this be a dangerous move since we're not married yet? He usually stays overnight at my apartment on the weekends (no funny business) and is extremely committed to remain celibate until we're married, and so am I. So, I'm thinking it would be ok for us to move in together? What do you think?

Love,
Madeline

You should not even allow him to stay overnight before you are married. I noticed he is still in the "BF" category and that you did not even say "fiance" - does your family/his family approve of such an arrangement? By allowing him to stay for overnight visits, they may fear that you are "leading him astray" or vice versa.

If you are going to go by what scriptures teach us, HE should be the one to buy/lease/own the Condo (or other home) then after the wedding, HE brings you to live in the home together. I know that order of things is VERY OLD FASHIONED, but that is what the scriptures teach.

One other word of caution - please do not get married because it is convenient to do so - marriage is a lifetime commitment and should not be taken lightly.

[Psalms18_28]

btw, you will not going to feel any better if you live with him. In fact, you will feel weird and uncomfortable which is more likely to dampened your relationship with your BF. Which I think you are already feeling that way otherwise you wouldn't be asking that question. It's your guilty conscience that made you want to know if it is ok.

I know I did not feel good about myself when I put myself in that position. I did the spend the night, no funny business too. It was wrong.

[Madeline]

Oooooooooook! I can't argue with the responses. I may be a bit reluctant in accepting some of it, but I think I know when I stand corrected. As for the scripture on avoiding fornincation and marriage...don't know what I was thinking. I guess I was too love-struck to notice it. Anways, I will continue to pray on this...

[lettheredeemedsayso]

Madeline, I will not go into the biblical aspect of it as many here have already touched on that. Statistics show that couples that live together before marriage have a much higher divorce rate when they do get married. This proves that what scripture teaches about marriage is true. Of course we as Christians should do it because God honors His Word and because we are indebted to Him for all He has done for us.

[kevinmiller]

Not to nitpick, but an interesting thought. My mom has said several times how she does not understand why people say that they are going to pray about things that God has already made clear in His word. God isn't going to answer a prayer that He has already given an answer to previously, in His Word.

[Larry02]

Me and my BF are thinking of purchasing this Condo and moving in together. Would this be a dangerous move since we're not married yet? He usually stays overnight at my apartment on the weekends (no funny business) and is extremely committed to remain celibate until we're married, and so am I. So, I'm thinking it would be ok for us to move in together? What do you think?

Love,
Madeline

1Th 5:22 Abstain from all appearance of evil.

[lettheredeemedsayso]

God isn't going to answer a prayer that He has already given an answer to previously, in His Word.

that would be asking amiss. James 4:3