Marriage, Remarriage, Divorce

[John81]

Could part of the prOBlems in our churches and families have to do with lax, unbiblical, feminist and worldly teaching that has found it's way into Christianity.

 

It seems many/most churches once took solid, biblical stances in this area but in the last several decades this has greatly changed.

 

Biblical marriage seems to be little taught in our churches these days. Neither the youth nor the adults seem to be learning  the origin of marriage, importance of marriage, reasons for marriage or the sanctity and commitment of marriage.

 

With Mother's Day approaching there will be many pastors who preach upon the greatness of single mother's. Most often these mother's are single from having children outside of marriage or due to divorce. The way in which the single mother's are often lifted up to great heights tends to gloss over or even give acceptance to the unbiblical reasons for the epidemic of single mothers.

 

Churches are filled these days with groups for single mothers, those divorced, the remarried and such; which if biblically conducted could be a good thing, but for the most part they tend to celebrate and build up these things in an unbiblical fashion.

 

It's so common to hear women in the church telling a divorced woman not to be concerned about their divorce because this is all part of God's plan and He will send them a better husband. Some pastors even pass on such words.

 

Many church ladies seem quick to approve of divorce rather than giving guidance on how to make a marriage work.

 

Men too often seem absent from it all. Why aren't all pastor's taking biblical stands in this area and training up their congregations in this area? Why aren't dads raising their sons and daughters to know about biblical marriage? Why aren't more husbands being biblical examples of godly husbands, both in public and private?

 

Marriage was instituted by God and is illustrative of the relationship between Christ and the redeemed. We know the devil takes every opportunity to attack marriage, to divide husbands and wives, to bring about divorce, to encourage cycles of marriage/divorce/remarriage/divorce/remarriage..., why aren't we putting more effort into teaching, learning and living in accord with Scripture in this area?

 

Christian men are not just "sowing wild oats" when they "trade in" their wife for a "younger model". They are rebelling against God, committing great sin that breeds more sin that engulfs not only themselves but typically their wives, children and many others.

 

Christian women who want to do their own thing so they file for divorce are not just "doing what's best for them"; they are committing a great sin that spreads like a virus.

 

It's so sad to see so many broken homes, divorce after divorce, remarriage (not the biblical reuniting) which is often followed by another divorce, children torn between their divided parents who claim to be followers of Christ while living in sin.

 

Then to hear pastors and other Christians offer little more than what the world offers up about such matters.

 

Scripture has so much to say about marriage. Why do we seem to either ignore this or pay lip service to a bit of it and little more?

[swathdiver]

Could part of the prOBlems in our churches and families have to do with lax, unbiblical, feminist and worldly teaching that has found it's way into Christianity.

 

It seems many/most churches once took solid, biblical stances in this area but in the last several decades this has greatly changed.

 

 

Not in my local church, thank God!

 

The MVs water down or distort what the Lord says about divorce.  

 

Folks also twist and wrest the scriptures to justify keep following their favorite divorced pastor.

 

The world's values are replacing biblical values as you mention, it is indeed tragic.

[John81]

I know some otherwise good churches which barely touch the topic out of fear of offending or upsetting all the single moms and divorced and remarried people in their pews.

 

No doubt the watery churches have decided to go with the flow of the world on these matters. That's not really surprising. The more shocking thing is how this trend seems to be making it's way into many of our own churches.

 

Thankfully our pastor still preaches on the topic. He also won't do the wedding of just anyone who walks through the door and want's to get married, as so many other pastors do.

 

I know folks in some of the churches around here who are on their third, fourth or even fifth marriage. Without sound biblical teaching and guidance, it seems these Christians fall into the same trap as the lost and never learn from their mistakes and sins.

 

It seems, at least in part, the acceptance of worldly marriage views has assisted in the acceptance of homosexuality in some churches. Some churches now allow open homosexual "pastors", who tend to have followed in the footsteps of women "pastors" who have paved the way in watering down biblical requirements for pastors. It seems it's been a small step to go from accepting serial marriage/divorce/remarriage to accepting homosexual "couples" in many churches.

 

I'm thankful I've not yet seen or heard of an IFB church which accepts the homosexual "couples" but with more of them leaning towards worldly ways in other areas one has to wonder how long before we hear of the first IFB church to accept homosexual "couples".

 

All of these things stem back to the what Scripture says about marriage. Biblical marriage is such a beautiful thing! Marriage outside of biblical teaching is the breeding ground for sin and compound sin.

[ASongOfDegrees]

What's done is done. If a pastor has a congregation with divorced, remarried people or single moms/dads with kids there's no sense on pounding on them for how wicked they are because of it. Just because they are easy targets doesn't mean you should go after them.

 

Some of they best Christians I've met have been divorced, remarried or single with kids. 

 

I will agree though, that feminism for women and porn for men have been major roles in the destruction of marriages in America.  Also, the "don't tell me what to do" attitude of Americans in general hasn't helped. I'm not just talking about the women here either.

 

The real reason, IMO, that homo marriage has become acceptable is because hetero marriage has become a sad joke. How can you blast gay marriage when so many straight marriages end in divorce? Not only that but many of them were already dating (i.e. fornicating) before they got married and cheated and abused throughout the marriage.

 

In my family the divorce rate in near 100% with one sibling being married four times.

[robmac68]

What's done is done. If a pastor has a congregation with divorced, remarried people or single moms/dads with kids there's no sense on pounding on them for how wicked they are because of it. Just because they are easy targets doesn't mean you should go after them.

 

 

 

I don't know about going after them, which I doubt John was endorsing, but to stop it, it has to be discussed.  It has to preached upon and taught.  If some are in the congregation and they get offended because of it, that is their prOBlem.  Divorce and remarriage should be preached upon with the same intensity as homosexuality. 

 

 

edited to add:  I believe because divorce/remarriage isn't preached against like homeosexualty is, that we do come off looking like hypocrites.  Its like Christians adopt the attitude that "we can stomach divorce and remarriage so we will give it a pass but sodomy is gross and against nature so we will beat the drum about it."  Sin is sin. 

[John81]

Indeed, I'm certainly not calling for the beating up of those who are divorced, single moms or the remarried; that wouldn't be biblical. What I said we need is biblical preaching and teaching on marriage and related matters. Such biblical preaching should be a benefit to everyone, the never married, the married, the divorced, the remarried, single moms, young and old.

 

Only a few are called to a life of non-marriage, which means most of every congregation is made up of those who want to be married, will one day be married, are currently married, etc.

 

I have heard some that point out how acceptable divorce, remarriage and even adultery and fornication are in the church today, especially when compared to a few decades ago, while things like abortion and homosexuality are continually preached upon. To those who see this, what they take note of is the sin going on within the church is being ignored while what is preached against is primarily going on outside the church and thus not a direct matter to the congregation.

 

That's a real prOBlem. As was posted by someone in another thread recently, the world knows how Christians are to live so they are quick to notice when we aren't living that way and to use it against us.

[robmac68]

 

I have heard some that point out how acceptable divorce, remarriage and even adultery and fornication are in the church today, especially when compared to a few decades ago, while things like abortion and homosexuality are continually preached upon. To those who see this, what they take note of is the sin going on within the church is being ignored while what is preached against is primarily going on outside the church and thus not a direct matter to the congregation.

 

 

^{1 Cor. 5:12-13}

¹² For what have I to do to judge them also that are without? do not ye judge them that are within?

¹³ But them that are without God judgeth. Therefore put away from among yourselves that wicked person.

 

 

Yes, it makes an easy sermon to preach about things outside the church that the whole congregation agrees against, but these nervous-nelly's in the pulpits today won't touch the prOBlems that are actually going on inside the church. 

 

I think someone in another thread actually got the idea that I condoned sodomy because I basically made the statement that I am tired of hearing about it and not other sins.  It is estimated that 2% to 6% of the population are homosexual, yet divorce is in the 50% range. And the reason sodomy is preached on and not divorce is why????? 

[Guest]

Is this a gossip thread?

[EKSmith]

John is not attacking anyone nor just gossiping he is pointing out a very serious prOBlem that's within the church today, which many pastors fail to preach (teach) on. this is a important subject and we should know how to fellowship with one another in love, also we should know the world is watching us here as well.

Thanks brother John   

[Bro K]

Why these subjects are not being taught?  Potential lost of memberships which results in the lost of money!

[ASongOfDegrees]

I don't know about going after them, which I doubt John was endorsing, but to stop it, it has to be discussed.  It has to preached upon and taught.  If some are in the congregation and they get offended because of it, that is their prOBlem.  Divorce and remarriage should be preached upon with the same intensity as homosexuality. 

 

 

edited to add:  I believe because divorce/remarriage isn't preached against like homeosexualty is, that we do come off looking like hypocrites.  Its like Christians adopt the attitude that "we can stomach divorce and remarriage so we will give it a pass but sodomy is gross and against nature so we will beat the drum about it."  Sin is sin. 

I'm not referring to John himself beating up on them but rather preachers from the bully pulpit. It's easy for a preacher from the cozy and secure confines of his church to blast members of his congregation who have had failed relationships. What these people need to hear is how not to mess their marriage up again or to live a pure life. Not about how wicked they are for being divorced, remarried or a single parent. 

 

My sister has been married four times now and this husband is a good Christian man who himself is divorced. Despite how they messed up in the past they are now living right for God. Blasting them from the pulpit on how immoral they are for being divorced and remarried doesn't serve any purpose IMO.

[Guest]

If people have a prOBlem with their pastor, they need to take it straight to the pastor. If you have a prOBlem with God not moving someone take it up with him. So far it reads like you're all talking about 'them' that is gossip plain and simple. Any divorced folks besides me in this thread? 

[JimsHelpmeet]

Why these subjects are not being taught?  Potential lost of memberships which results in the lost of money!

I think it's the case in some churches, yes; however, in some I think it's simply that pastors realize that a sizable portion of the congregation has either been divorced and is either single or has since remarried, so all that would be left to preach on at that point would be the heresy of "perpetual adultery". I do, however, feel it's important for pastors to push for permanence marriage. That, unless under extremely dire and dangerous circumstances, divorce should not even be considered, let alone pursued. That's a very delicate balance between addressing the seriousness of those vows with those who are married without isolating, or shaming, those who have experienced the pain of a divorce. Many people who are divorced, remarried, and in church ended up that way prior to walking with the Lord. 

[John81]

Biblical preaching on marriage, and related aspects, should be welcomed by all believers and should be something that would bless all who have ears to hear. Each person in the congregation hears the message where they are, as they are, and should allow the Spirit to work in them to guide their lives in accord with the Word henceforth.

 

Biblical preaching on marriage is for the present and future. The past can't be undone, whatever sin any of us may have committed in the past, whether marriage related or otherwise.

 

The never married can learn the biblical truth, expectations and commitment of biblical marriage. The divorced can learn what the Lord expects of them at this point. The remarried can learn how to protect and preserve their marriage so divorce doesn't come upon them again. These things and so much more are important for every Christian to learn, to know, to abide in and live by.

 

Being a husband or wife is a high calling and the Lord gives us specific instructions for God honouring marriage. We should all want to know all about this, to live in accord with the will of God and to pass such on to our children, grandchildren and others. All this for the glory of God.

[Arbo]

Folks also twist and wrest the scriptures to justify keep following their favorite divorced pastor.

One name: Charles Stanley.