Lord, Please Forgive Me

[swathdiver]

Several years ago our family met a young man and his mother.  We came to know each other on Independence Day and learned that the mother was Catholic and had moved here to protect her son from the violence of NYC.  Her oldest son was murdered right in front of the two of them.  I had hoped to share the gospel with them, urged my family members to do so also but the opportunity never presented itself.  When we learned that they were dis-invited to a Thanksgiving Dinner, we quickly called and they accepted our invitation to join us.  Again I had hoped to share the gospel with the boy and again circumstances prevented it.

 

Nearly two years later, the other day we learned that the boy died, killed himself while drag racing, his passengers, twin boys, survived.  Services were held at a local Catholic church and I do not know if he ever heard and accepted the Gospel.  From my distant vantage point, Mom is still clinging to the Papists.

 

Our family is going through enormous trials these past years, we're homeless and having to move again in January.  Only the Lord knows what is in store for us but I feel strongly that very trying times are ahead.  That being said, there's no excuse for not having reached out to that boy when he came into my presence at least twice.  I tried, the burden was there, but not hard enough, and now he is gone. 

[candlelight]

Several years ago our family met a young man and his mother.  We came to know each other on Independence Day and learned that the mother was Catholic and had moved here to protect her son from the violence of NYC.  Her oldest son was murdered right in front of the two of them.  I had hoped to share the gospel with them, urged my family members to do so also but the opportunity never presented itself.  When we learned that they were dis-invited to a Thanksgiving Dinner, we quickly called and they accepted our invitation to join us.  Again I had hoped to share the gospel with the boy and again circumstances prevented it.

 

Nearly two years later, the other day we learned that the boy died, killed himself while drag racing, his passengers, twin boys, survived.  Services were held at a local Catholic church and I do not know if he ever heard and accepted the Gospel.  From my distant vantage point, Mom is still clinging to the Papists.

 

Our family is going through enormous trials these past years, we're homeless and having to move again in January.  Only the Lord knows what is in store for us but I feel strongly that very trying times are ahead.  That being said, there's no excuse for not having reached out to that boy when he came into my presence at least twice.  I tried, the burden was there, but not hard enough, and now he is gone. 

 

Swathdiver, I feel so terrible for what you are going through.  I understand that feeling of being homeless, although, when we lost our home, over 5 years ago... we moved in with my oldest brother.  His home is also more spacious and in a better neighborhood.  We could have bought back our home, although, it would have been on market value.  Living in this house, with my brother, is more affordable.  However, we don't know where the Lord is directing us next.  My brother's job is not secure... so we may be homeless again.  I try to keep in mind that we are just sojourners passing through this place called, 'life."  The Lord Jesus Christ has prepared us many mansions with Him in heaven.  How awesome is that? 

 As for this family, and boy?  Please don't be so hard on yourself.  I wanted so desperately to witness to my ex husband's dad before he passed on, almost a year ago; however, the opportunity was not there.  I tried one time before, as well.  Sometimes, we can't control external things that come into our paths.  Thankfully, I was able to witness, a bit, to a man at my father in law's funeral.  Believe it or not... the RCC priest sounded more like a Baptist than a Catholic.  The Lord slightly opened a small door for me to witness to a man I didn't know.  Please remember all the good things that you did for this family, and try not to focus on regret.  Regret is like a cancer.  It can chew a person up and never let go.  As the saying goes, "Let Go and Let God."

 

You seem to me like the kind of man that carries the world's burden's on your shoulder.  I am the same way.  I have been directed, by my godly husband, not to do that so much.  Burdens and worries take it's toll on the body, spiritually, emotionally and physically.  Remember, you have a wife and daughters that need you.  They don't need a big house or even a small one.  They need your love and support.  You have much spiritual support to give all of them, as you are a godly man that keeps them from the world's temptations.  I don't know where you are located.  I am going to add you as a friend on OB.  If you would like to talk further, maybe I can be of some help to you.  Joe, my husband, is looking for places for us to live, in case my brother is not able to find work with better pay, soon.  I will ask Joe's friend if he will send you some homes, apartments, leases, etc. as my husband is working with this childhood friend to find something for us, if we need to move.  Matt is just starting out in real estate.  He used to work in retail.  I am sure he would be happy to send you some information on houses for lease, rent and mobile homes.  I know we didn't get off to a good start on OB... and I apologize for that.     Keep the faith brother, and don't try to solve the world's problems in a day.    Leave Jesus to do that.  The Lord will direct your every step and help you with your burdens.  He will never forsake his kids.  He never has and He never will.

[HappyChristian]

I'm so sorry, swath!  That is a burden that is impossible to bear.  "Casting all your care on Him, for He careth for you." 

[JerryNumbers]

I believe things like that has happened to all of us. Thank goodness for God's grace we can seek forgiveness.

[swathdiver]

Yes, the Lord forgives and while I think on it and posted about it, it doesn't bother me that much, if only because so many other troubles are constantly being fended off leaving me little time to think maybe.  Lately, I've been coming here at night, while working at my desk to post and spend time with the Lord in His Word.

[JerryNumbers]

Yes, the Lord forgives and while I think on it and posted about it, it doesn't bother me that much, if only because so many other troubles are constantly being fended off leaving me little time to think maybe.  Lately, I've been coming here at night, while working at my desk to post and spend time with the Lord in His Word.

 

I think this comes into play, as we grow in Christ, as we learn more about Him, & what He would have us to do, the life He would have us live, looking back we can remember errors we made in our judgment. And all of these things do not come to mind at one time, usually at different times, & for some reason because of something we may read from the Bible, something the pastor may say in his sermon, something in Sunday school, something a Christian friend says, or something posted here, will bring something from our past we did wrong.

 

I think this happens to all of us Christians who are honest with our self, & to our Savor.

 

What counts is what we do from this day forth, & lets try to let Christ live though us as best as we can, & not be selfish with our life, living for self. With all that goes on around us, all the temptations, that can be very difficult for all of us.

 

Yet the more we fellowship with Christians, the less with the world, the stronger Christians we can become, with a few less temptations.

[Ronda]

Dear brother in Christ, Most (if not all) of us can honestly say we have passed by opportunities to witness to others because the timing did not "seem right" to us and later regretted it when that person dies, or moves away, etc.   I had an experience very similar and once I lost the chance to ever witness to that person again I also felt a deep regret and not knowing if that person accepted Christ or not before his death.  I prayed for forgiveness and I am sure I am forgiven of that sin. 1st John 1:19 "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

I just want to assure you that the Lord knows your regret over this, and if you pray for forgiveness, He will forgive!  I think things like that happen so that we realize just how short our time is on this earth and that we grab each opportunity to witness as we can.  I am not writing this to tear you down but to build you up in your daily struggles (as we all have).  I am praying for you (and in love of Christ),  I am relatively "new" here, and am hoping to have friendship and fellowship with other Christians who also believe the bible as I believe the independent Baptist church preaches.