Wedding dresses

[John81]

I didn't have a bachelor's party, I made it clear I didn't want one. They didn't have bachelorette parties back then, at least not to my knowledge.

Today many women have bachelorette parties and they also have a bridal shower.

For the worldly, the bachelor party has long been viewed as the grooms last time of freedom do as he pleases. Typically this involves sinful behavior done in excess with the strange idea that virtually anything goes and is acceptable for such parties.

Today many women have bachelorette parties (the young lady at our church isn't having one!) where most often they try to party just like the guys. I know of one young woman who was the sister of a woman I know through common friends, for her bachelorette party, it was actually an entire weekend, she went around sleeping with all the guys she had wanted to before, but never did for some reason. She was basically drunk the entire weekend and rather busy otherwise. The following weekend she got married. As bad as that was, I thought it was even worse when I found out that here soon-to-be husband knew of this and was okay with it

Thankfully, the young couple from our church took a more traditional, and especially Christian approach. He had his tame bachelor party while she will be having a tame bridal shower. If I recall correctly, their wedding is less than two weeks away now, maybe 11 days.

On the subject of marriage later in life, a lady friend of our pastor who attended our church was in her 40s before God sent her a husband. Interestingly, most people thought she would never have children given her age and wondered why the pastor bothered to ask for God's blessing on the family they would have, but 10 months after the wedding the baby arrived! To most peoples surprise, God not only blessed her with a husband well into her 40s, but quickly followed that by blessing her with a child she had long hoped for.

[Miss Linda]

I cannot believe that the appallingly promiscuous behavior the young bride-to-be engaged in brought her any sort of happiness. Conduct like that is for animals, not human beings created in the image and likeness of our majestic God. Would she want her own daughter to behave like that before her wedding? Contrast that with the special time of fellowship that the godly bride and groom enjoyed in their last days before their wedding. I'm sure that the groom will reminisce with his friends for many years about the fun day they had, and probably help plan and participate similar occasions for his friends when they celebrate their upcoming nuptials. And the godly bride is giving her family the very best gift a young woman can give--the example of a virtuous, godly life.

I can understand the desire of the groom to have a special time of fellowship with his friends before his wedding day. After his wedding he might not have as much time for his friends, at least for a while while he and his wife settle into their new life together and establish their household. It's quite understandable for him to want to be with his friends and celebrate his new life and new wife. But I see no reason to turn it into a time of debauchery. And, well, for women to behave like that in any way is utterly mystifying.

This "anything goes" culture is turning the human race into animals. If God had wanted us to behave like babboons, He would have made us into babboons.

Thank you for your kind and encouraging words and for the story about the woman you know who was given a husband later in life--and a child too!! God truly is good and kind, and loves the least of His children.

[John81]

My own sister who calls herself a Christian but admittedly doesn't live like one (she "just is" a Christian and she's trusting in that she was baptized when she was a child for her "right standing" with God); acted in a way with her older daughter I can't understand.

Her oldest daughter turned 21 earlier this year. My sister took her to the casino where they gambled and she helped her daughter get literally falling down drunk. Why???? Obviously my sister learned nothing from her sinful youth and thinks it's great to help her daughter follow that same path.

Another relative, who also calls herself a Christian, had an "after wedding party" a few weeks after she was married. They rented a place in a small city, played loud music, served lots of booze, most people got drunk, danced like they had no brain, and then passed out at the hotel. To this day they still don't understand why we (my wife and children and I) didn't attend. It wasn't an appropriate place for me or my wife, and even worse for my young children, but they can't see that.

[BlessedChristianlady8]

When my husband and I first got engaged we went out and told everyone that we would not want a bachelor party or bachlorette party , those parties are foolish because it makes a person regret leaving single life. So they didn't like that idea however they respected our wishes not to have one. I remember in 95 when my oldest sister was getting married. My other sister was her matron of honor I think however she was in charge of her Bridal shower and bachlorette party. While this sister was getting ready for my oldest sister Bachorlette party she was showing me stuff stuff. She got my sister a card with a man exposed with nothing on, she got body anonomy suckers and she got adult content fortune cookies. I wasn't allowed to go this because they all went to a strip club. With all places to go for a party they picked a strip club. While a few dancers came out on stage I heard my mom stuffed money in where your not suppose to and other bad stuff. My oldest sister fiance( her husband now) with the guys bachlor party got wasted and drunk and they hung my brother in law from a tree for awhile and other wicked things. This is why my husband and I opt out of this ungodly ritual because we didn't want to corrupt our new marriage which it got corrupt anyhow.
I think these two things are not because your going to not be single anymore its the last time you can rebel and get away with it and alot of immoral things.

As for the wedding dresses I agree with you all that its sadden todays world wants shorter and skimpy dresses. I today and tonight wore some shorts to move and after that I didn't have a dress I was hot anyhow and didn't feel like putting on a dress or skirt. We ended up in a resturant and Thank God nothing major happend while getting my food. However, I felt naked still going into a public place eating however, after we are settled into our new place I am putting back my modesty on again.

[farouk]

Ms Linda:

Don't give up; my wife and I were older than some when we tied the knot.

It's a matter of keep on praying, 'Thy will be done'.

Edited June 22, 2011 by farouk

[Invicta]

Ms Linda:

Don't give up; my wife and I were older than some when we tied the knot.

It's a matter of keep on praying, 'Thy will be done'.

I used to work with a woman, Miss Barnes, who kept putting off her retirement for a number of years after she could retire at 60, and when she finally left I wished her a happy retirement, she repiled, "I am not retiring, I am leaving to get married."

Here we call such parties, Stag Parties for men and Hen Parties for women. Neither My wife nor I held one, and the only one I attended was for a friend who we joined in a Bangla Deshi restaurant for a meal. Edited June 22, 2011 by Invicta

[farouk]

I used to work with a woman, Miss Barnes, who kept putting off her retirement for a number of years after she could retire at 60, and when she finally left I wished her a happy retirement, she repiled, "I am not retiring, I am leaving to get married."

Here we call such parties, Stag Parties for men and Hen Parties for women. Neither My wife nor I held one, and the only one I attended was for a friend who we joined in a Bangla Deshi restaurant for a meal.

Invicta:

This is a great story!!!!

Never too late, right?

[HappyChristian]

A year or so ago Nancy Leigh DeMoss (I know some don't care for her) did an excellent series of broadcasts on modesty. Apparently many Christian women in the area listen to her. I recall some of the women talking about the program as they were standing together and several of the women proclaiming how wrong it is to expect women to give up their "right" to dress however they want, in whatever they are comfortable in, and how it was the man's problem if he couldn't see her without lusting. Most of the women in this group are members of local churches.

As with anyone, a reader or listener must be sure to see the biblical applications of what NDeMoss (and any other author/speaker) has to say. I have a small book (more like a thick pamphlet) that she wrote about modesty and clothing. She's right on the money, and I don't have any problem quoting her if it arises.

This topic is a microcosm, actually, of what has happened to our culture. Standards fell in the world, and the church followed, instead of leading...

I know I've mentioned this before, but an excellent book to read on the topic of standards is The Fall and Rise of Christian Standards by David Kidd. It's a book that is well worth the price (which is not high) and the time it takes to read. He brings out thoughts on several areas that will cause anyone, no matter how they look at things, to think.

[John81]

I do wish pastors would address this topic from the pulpit and Christian parents would address it with their children. I know there are some who do, but they seem to be few these days, and exceedingly few within "mainstream" Christianity.

It's almost as if this is a taboo subject. Pastors and dads seem to be afraid to confront the issue and to many moms are a part of the problem.

[Anon]

Don't like Nancy DeMoss. Hahaha. She's never had kids yet she tells women not to use birth control. She's never been married yet she preaches at women about obedience to husbands. To me, a woman without a husband and without children should not really be doing marriage counseling and child rearing counseling. haha. I read her book "Lies Women Believe" and I could barely get through it. I'd rather read "Created to be His HelpMeet" if for no other reason but at least I know the writer is writing about things she herself has done, and can now teach others to do!

Okay off my DeMoss soapbox. Heh heh heh...sorry.

Its very difficult to find modest formals and wedding gowns these days. My sister in law bought a strapless one but then bought a cute little jacket to put over it. There really wasn't much else to choose from that didn't look granny-fied.

Modesty is just a whole huge big mess these days. I get frustrated about it myself. I feel like the few of us who still try to at least sort of dress modestly, not wearing pants, etc, are just totally and completely out of our minds, even in IFB circles today.

[farouk]

This sounds more like a subject, rather than for men to lay down the law to women publicly from the pulpit, instead for women to discuss with women privately.

Certainly, general principles can be usefully mentioned from the pulpit, I think.

This whole subject is very much a 19th century issue, from when wearing whalebone corsets was very much in vogue, as well. (At least those are now out of favor.)

Edited June 24, 2011 by farouk

[Miss Linda]

This whole subject is very much a 19th century issue, from when wearing whalebone corsets was very much in vogue, as well. (At least those are now out of favor.)

I respectfully disagree. Modesty is not a "19th century issue" rather modesty in both dress and deportment is an important virtue that should be practiced by every faithful follower of Christ (regardless of gender).

"In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls or costly array; but (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works." (I Timothy 2:9-10)

In the case of women, modesty helps preserve the greater part of our beauty for our husbands' eyes alone. It communicates to the world the great value we place on the dignity of our persons--the bodies of the daughters of the King should not be placed on display like goods in a market place. Modest dress and modest conduct communicate Christian ideals to the world without our ever having to witness verbally. This was true in the time of Abraham, in the time of Christ, and in our time. Edited June 24, 2011 by Miss Linda

[farouk]

I respectfully disagree. Modesty is not a "19th century issue" rather modesty in both dress and deportment is an important virtue that should be practiced by every faithful follower of Christ (regardless of gender).

"In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls or costly array; but (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works." (I Timothy 2:9-10)

In the case of women, modesty helps preserve the greater part of our beauty for our husbands' eyes alone. It communicates to the world the great value we place on the dignity of our persons--the bodies of the daughters of the King should not be placed on display like goods in a market place. Modest dress and modest conduct communicate Christian ideals to the world without our ever having to witness verbally. This was true in the time of Abraham, in the time of Christ, and in our time.

Ms Linda:

I think you mis-read me. What I meant was, in the 19th century, the dress issue was a real live one.

Like with those tight corsets that they used to wear, and their effect .... (say no more...)

Good that those whalebone things are now out of favor... Edited June 24, 2011 by farouk

[John81]

I respectfully disagree. Modesty is not a "19th century issue" rather modesty in both dress and deportment is an important virtue that should be practiced by every faithful follower of Christ (regardless of gender).

"In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls or costly array; but (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works." (I Timothy 2:9-10)

In the case of women, modesty helps preserve the greater part of our beauty for our husbands' eyes alone. It communicates to the world the great value we place on the dignity of our persons--the bodies of the daughters of the King should not be placed on display like goods in a market place. Modest dress and modest conduct communicate Christian ideals to the world without our ever having to witness verbally. This was true in the time of Abraham, in the time of Christ, and in our time.

Very well stated!

[farouk]

Very well stated!

John81:

Yes, a really good post. I agree. (Though it was a response to something I didn't actually think I said. Maybe I have a gift for being misunderstood )