Hand holding....

[Anon]

My son is allowed to sit by, ride with, talk with, pray with, go to church with, play games, go fishing, go bowling, skating, whatever....they spend MUCH time together.....but they are chaperoned and they are not allowed to hold hands, kiss, or lay on each other. After they are married , then they can touch all they want.

More than I got, dating at college.... sounds like a great arrangement to me! You go, Dad!

[Madeline]

I think one should consult with their father, a brother, and/or their pastor. Generally speaking though, it may also depend on the persons age, their intent upon marrying you, his ability to marry you, etc... But generally speaking I think that if he can treat you with "...with all purity" (1 Tim. 5:2) I don't think holding hands is automatically a problem. I'm having problems with this site, I can post entir

[Guest Guest]

LOL if you even knew Kathie's story, she didn't even LOOK for this guy...she didn't even WANT him.

Katy-Anne

Exactly!!! :saint

[Guest Guest]

A young lady, holding hands or laying on young man, is making provision for the flesh.

And where in the Bible do you find this great, deep truth? :puzzled:

A young man, moving out on his own, before marriage, when his girlfriend has proven that she cannot seem to control herself, and has shown much evidence of rebellion, is making provision for the flesh. You can say what you want, but I have set a standard and a limit. WHen your children reach this stage, you will be in my shoes, then you will remember this. I hope that you handle it well.

A young man (a boy, rather) who does something like this is indeed in rebellion. My dad has not placed a boundary like this on me, though he has stated that he is not in favor of hand-holding before marriage. Since it's not a "rule," and he allows me to have my own standards to a certain point, then I have come to my own conclusions about this issue. This passage, in no way shape or form, can be honestly construed to say that it is wrong for a man to touch a woman in the way you are trying to apply it. It is clear that a sexual touch is wrong; but to simply state that it is sinful to hold hands or hug or things like that is simply ridiculous! In fact, sometimes the Bible tells people to "greet one another with an holy kiss." Now, with regard to that passage, is kissing outside of marriage sinful? Provide BIBLE VERSES, por favor.

If you love your kids, you will set boundaries and limits while they are under our protection and authoirity, just as God does us all. My limits are for them to keep their hands and bodies to themselves until they are married.....and to not leave home until they are married.. After that, they are on their own.

It is clear that as far as your son is concerned, he is totally out of line. As your son, he should respect and obey you, until he is a Biblical adult (most agree this is around age 20) and is responsible before God for his own actions. Yes, your son is wrong to disobey and rebel, but that is simply because he rebels against your rules, not the Bible. In essence, he could be defended to be correct Biblically, but he's actually not because of his rebellion.

[Guest Guest]

And where in the Bible do you find this great, deep truth? :puzzled:



A young man (a boy, rather) who does something like this is indeed in rebellion. My dad has not placed a boundary like this on me, though he has stated that he is not in favor of hand-holding before marriage. Since it's not a "rule," and he allows me to have my own standards to a certain point, then I have come to my own conclusions about this issue. This passage, in no way shape or form, can be honestly construed to say that it is wrong for a man to touch a woman in the way you are trying to apply it. It is clear that a sexual touch is wrong; but to simply state that it is sinful to hold hands or hug or things like that is simply ridiculous! In fact, sometimes the Bible tells people to "greet one another with an holy kiss." Now, with regard to that passage, is kissing outside of marriage sinful? Provide BIBLE VERSES, por favor.



It is clear that as far as your son is concerned, he is totally out of line. As your son, he should respect and obey you, until he is a Biblical adult (most agree this is around age 20) and is responsible before God for his own actions. Yes, your son is wrong to disobey and rebel, but that is simply because he rebels against your rules, not the Bible. In essence, he could be defended to be correct Biblically, but he's actually not because of his rebellion.

Good post, Vince :wink

[pneu-engine]

MC1171611 wrote:::

... to simply state that it is sinful to hold hands or hug or things like that is simply ridiculous!

...and where in the Bible do you find this great, deep "truth"??? :puzzled:

[Guest Guest]

MC1171611 wrote:::



...and where in the Bible do you find this great, deep "truth"??? :puzzled:

In reality, the burden of proof lies on you; I made a logical statement about the non-existence of something in the Bible: in order to prove your feelings, beliefs or whatever-you-may-call-it, you will need to come up with some Biblical evidence of your own.

[Madeline]

Holding hands prior to marriage is dating and dating FOR CHRISTIANS is primarily the way we find a husband. We should ask ourselves, are we looking for a husband at this point in our life, or is dating more just a way to have a relationship that feels good tous? Are we ready to get married? Do we want to get married? Is the point of our "dating" specifically to find a husband? These are questions we need to ask ourself before we engage in a relationship. Make sense? :duh

[Guest Guest]

He can't prove it's wrong, Vince, but he'll keep saying that it is anyway because he wants to.

Katy-Anne

[heartstrings]

And where in the Bible do you find this great, deep truth? :puzzled:



A young man (a boy, rather) who does something like this is indeed in rebellion. My dad has not placed a boundary like this on me, though he has stated that he is not in favor of hand-holding before marriage. Since it's not a "rule," and he allows me to have my own standards to a certain point, then I have come to my own conclusions about this issue. This passage, in no way shape or form, can be honestly construed to say that it is wrong for a man to touch a woman in the way you are trying to apply it. It is clear that a sexual touch is wrong; but to simply state that it is sinful to hold hands or hug or things like that is simply ridiculous! In fact, sometimes the Bible tells people to "greet one another with an holy kiss." Now, with regard to that passage, is kissing outside of marriage sinful? Provide BIBLE VERSES, por favor.





It is clear that as far as your son is concerned, he is totally out of line. As your son, he should respect and obey you, until he is a Biblical adult (most agree this is around age 20) and is responsible before God for his own actions. Yes, your son is wrong to disobey and rebel, but that is simply because he rebels against your rules, not the Bible. In essence, he could be defended to be correct Biblically, but he's actually not because of his rebellion.

This passage, in no way shape or form, can be honestly construed to say that it is wrong for a man to touch a woman in the way you are trying to apply it.

I accurately showed the general context of the passage....go back and read it again.
And I'll take this abit further just so you know where I'm "trying to apply it"....
I see teenage kids hugging one another, hanging on one another, laying on one another. Lets' see...did the Bible verse say...."it is good for a man not to have sex with a woman"?? It said "touch". I've been married to my wife for over 20 years and it is STILL exciting to me when we hold hands.....let alone kissing. So don't tell me that hand holding is not included int hat verse. The Bible means what it says and says what it means. It did not say "have sex" it did not say "sexual touch" it simply said "touch". I'm just going to have to believe the Bible my friend.

And as far as the "holy kiss" is concerned.....give my wife a "holy kiss" and I'll give you one right on the kisser'

until he is a Biblical adult (most agree this is around age 20)

"Most may agree", but what does the Bible say? It does say "honour thy father and mother .....and children obey your parents" I don't remember reading an age or time limit on those two commandments.

[Guest Guest]

Yet you still say that touch means everything but if we say that a guy shaking a girls hand is touching and therefore wrong, you think we're being ridiculous. Be consistent if you are gonna take it outta context.

Katy-Anne

[Madeline]

@heartstrings, what about drawing definitive boundaries in our dating activities? This can be done by having pre-determined boundaries of what/when/how (especially concerning physical contact) we will be able to avoid sin in this area. This seems like a simple solution to me!

[Guest Guest]

Holding hands prior to marriage is dating and dating FOR CHRISTIANS is primarily the way we find a husband. We should ask ourselves, are we looking for a husband at this point in our life, or is dating more just a way to have a relationship that feels good tous? Are we ready to get married? Do we want to get married? Is the point of our "dating" specifically to find a husband? These are questions we need to ask ourself before we engage in a relationship. Make sense? :duh

Ohhh yeah, I know exactly what you mean...I've seen it so many times, and it's really sad; kids "going out" just for that "emotional rush" that comes from being in a relationship. Though they might not even touch each other, they become they become what I call "emotionally immoral," or just whores with emotions (or whore mongers, whatever you want to call it :tum ).

I am in a relationship because I fully and completely intend to marry the person I'm dating. I believe God put her and I together for that purpose, and that purpose only. She's my first girlfriend, and she'll be the first girl I kiss (other than a Latin greeting...social customs :cooldude: ). I think that people shouldn't even date until they believe they have found the mate that God has prepared for them. Not that marrying someone else will totally screw up God's will for everyone else in the world, but I do think that the Lord knows you well enough to match you up with someone very special. Not that I'm a genius when it comes to relationships (far from it, actually!), but I have experienced that hand of God in my life, bringing me to meet someone very special.

[Guest Guest]

I've been married to my wife for over 20 years and it is STILL exciting to me when we hold hands.....let alone kissing. So don't tell me that hand holding is not included int hat verse.

I've never even touched a guy but I know I've gotten excited about just looking into a guy's eyes, or talking to him and hearing his voice...does that make talking and looking at each other wrong too? I know it'd be wrong for another man to talk sweetly and look into your wife's eyes like that, but is it wrong for unmarried couples to be sweet to each other before they get married?

[Guest Guest]

It must be wrong, Kathie, it might make you go further. I'd definetly stop talking to him and looking at him, because that's fleshly and it can be proven from the Bible. It doesn't matter that you believe he's "the one" you shouldn't have feelings of attraction for each other until you are married. You first need to get your parents to arrange a marriage for you, and then give you rules on how to get to know your guy they are forcing you to marry.

Ok, sarcasm over.

Katy-Anne