Spending the night over

[Madeline]

A friend of mine told me that she was going to spend the night at her bf's house today. I thought that it wasn't right in the sense that it could lead to temptation, and then sin. This is the one of the rare occasions where she decided to spend the night over her bf's house - she has probably done it twice. Is this is a wise decision on her part, or on her bf's part since they both consented? In any case, please pray for them both (Ruthie and David) that they repent from any form of sexual immorality or fornication because they plan on getting married one day.

Love,
Madeline

[SouthernGal]

A friend of mine told me that she was going to spend the night at her bf's house today. I thought that it wasn't right in the sense that it could lead to temptation, and then sin. This is the one of the rare occasions where she decided to spend the night over her bf's house - she has probably done it twice. Is this is a wise decision on her part, or on her bf's part since they both consented? In any case, please pray for them both (Ruthie and David) that they repent from any form of sexual immorality or fornication because they plan on getting married one day.

Love,
Madeline

I would have to say this is a very unwise decision. Consent has nothing to do with it. Is your friend a Christian? With each decade, the line of what's right or wrong becomes blurred more and more. You always need to look at what the Bible says (that never changes), regardless of what society tells us. There's lots of scripture that would apply to why this is wrong. Can't give you the location of the verses at this moment, but I know you'll receive replies with the scripture........I'll revisit later with scripture.

We can ruin our Christian testimony by the carelessness of what we may do. For example, would you go to a bar, knowing you & your bf were not going to drink anything stronger than a coke? Just a thought.....

[Madeline]

Is your friend a Christian?

She goes to church and claims to be a Christian and her bf teaches bible study, but only the Lord knows their hearts. But yeah...I would love to get those verses on why spending the night over would be a unwise decision on their part. I know that the bible says to abstain from all appearance of evil (1 Thess. 5:22), so spending the night over would cause other Christians to wonder just why?

Love,
Madeline

[Revelation3:20]

She goes to church and claims to be a Christian and her bf teaches bible study, but only the Lord knows their hearts. But yeah...I would love to get those verses on why spending the night over would be a unwise decision on their part. I know that the bible says to abstain from all appearance of evil (1 Thess. 5:22), so spending the night over would cause other Christians to wonder just why?

Love,
Madeline

Your right, it would be unwise for them to willingly place themselves in a position where it would be easier to fall. We are supposed to avoid placing ourselves in the path of temptation when it is possible to do so. Some verses that come to mind.

"Proverbs 22:3 A prudent man foreseeth the evil, and hideth himself: but the simple pass on, and are punished."

"1 Corinthians 10:12 Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall."

[John81]

Scripture commands us to flee temptation and to flee youthful lusts.

We are never to put ourselves in the path of temptation. Many men and women have thought they would not give in to temptation only to end up giving in and sometimes finding their relationships ruined because of this and in some cases their lives radically changed.

I've also known of Christians who would start out strong but eventually give in...just a little...to temptation, and eventually one tiny step towards premarital sex would lead to another and then another until eventually they would justify going all the way by saying it's okay since they plan to marry anyway.

Temptation is nothing to play with.

[no name joe]

If they are adults, it is their decision. My wife spent the night at my place before we were married on several occasions. She came in from out of town to visit, and she slept in the extra bedroom. Nothing wrong with that. But, if it puts them in a place where they cannot control themselves, then it is probably unwise.

[John81]

If they are adults, it is their decision. My wife spent the night at my place before we were married on several occasions. She came in from out of town to visit, and she slept in the extra bedroom. Nothing wrong with that. But, if it puts them in a place where they cannot control themselves, then it is probably unwise.

Most of what we do is our decision to make. The important thing is to make biblical decisions. Whether youth or adult, it's wrong for unmarried couples to spend the night together even if they sleep in separate rooms.

At one time, even those not born again in this country recognized that.

[ptwild]

Most of what we do is our decision to make. The important thing is to make biblical decisions. Whether youth or adult, it's wrong for unmarried couples to spend the night together even if they sleep in separate rooms.

At one time, even those not born again in this country recognized that.

I would like to see your biblical evidence for this assertion. In college, I lived in a coed dorm for a year and spent every night a wall away from two girls. Nothing improper ever came close to happening.

My girlfriend lives in another country so our time together is rare and treasured. When I fly to her place, I stay in the exta bedroom (or usually fall asleep on the couch trying to recover from jet lag). I started out getting a hotel room everytime I visited but found myself falling asleep at her place most nights and it began to strain me economically. I wake up every morning with no more sins committed than the night before I went to sleep. Point is, you don't somehow magically sin just because you are in a position to sin.

It all comes down to how strong you are at controlling your self. If you have low self control, then don't put yourself in the situation. If you and your b/f or g/f are committed to refraining from fornication, you should have no problem sleeping in a seperate bedroom.

[John81]

Some Scripture has been mentioned in this thread already and much more in similar threads.

What Scripture do you have to override these to make such okay?

[HappyChristian]

Simply put, one of the verses quoted answers the OP: "Let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall."

Can a man and a woman who love each other stay under the same roof and be celibate? Yes, they can. But just because they CAN doesn't mean they SHOULD.

[ptwild]

Some Scripture has been mentioned in this thread already and much more in similar threads.

What Scripture do you have to override these to make such okay?

I must be missing something because I went back and read the entire thread and there is no scripture quoted that says it is wrong for an unmarried man and woman to spend the night together under the same roof, even if in separate beds. The only one close is the one about abstaining from the appearance of evil and that all depends on who is making the observation.

There is no scripture that addresses this issue one way or the other. If I spend the night with my g/f, no sin is committed unless we fornicate.

[HappyChristian]

I must be missing something because I went back and read the entire thread and there is no scripture quoted that says it is wrong for an unmarried man and woman to spend the night together under the same roof, even if in separate beds. The only one close is the one about abstaining from the appearance of evil and that all depends on who is making the observation.

There is no scripture that addresses this issue one way or the other. If I spend the night with my g/f, no sin is committed unless we fornicate.

Don't forget the verse, "Let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall." Just because you have in the past spent the night with your g/f and didn't fornicate, doesn't mean you won't in the future. Wisdom needs to be applied to something of this nature.

And whether we like it or not, people do look at us and assume things. Our testimony is important to presenting true Christianity.

[ptwild]

Don't forget the verse, "Let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall." Just because you have in the past spent the night with your g/f and didn't fornicate, doesn't mean you won't in the future. Wisdom needs to be applied to something of this nature.

And whether we like it or not, people do look at us and assume things. Our testimony is important to presenting true Christianity.

Yet, I am not judged for sins that I might commit in the future. As far as people and their assumptions, they are left to their own devices.

On the night my savior was born, his unwed parents were spending the night with one another under the same roof. If you apply the extreme standard you are supporting, then there is never a situation where it is ok for umarried member of the opposite sex to so much as stay in a hotel together, even if they have separate rooms.

[no name joe]

Most of what we do is our decision to make. The important thing is to make biblical decisions. Whether youth or adult, it's wrong for unmarried couples to spend the night together even if they sleep in separate rooms.

At one time, even those not born again in this country recognized that.

I don't see how sleeping under the same roof in different rooms is a sin. there is no scriptural evidnece for that. If a young couple does not have the control, to do so alone might be very foolish. But for others who have good control, there is no problem with this.

[HappyChristian]

Yet, I am not judged for sins that I might commit in the future. As far as people and their assumptions, they are left to their own devices.

On the night my savior was born, his unwed parents were spending the night with one another under the same roof. If you apply the extreme standard you are supporting, then there is never a situation where it is ok for umarried member of the opposite sex to so much as stay in a hotel together, even if they have separate rooms.

pt - I never said you were judged by sins you'd commit in the future. THE BIBLE says that a wise man discerns that evil could happen and avoids it. As far as people and their assumptions, the BIBLE also says that we look on the outward - man does. Yes, the heart is vital and only God knows the heart...but our spiritual condition is seen in our lifestyle. We do not belong to ourselves - when we get saved, our bodies become God's...many of us don't remember that, nor do we care because, hey, I can do what I want regardless of what anyone thinks. And if someone thinks something bad, it's THEIR fault. Wrong.

As far as the night my Saviour was born, his wedded parents were together. Matthew 1:19 clearly calls Joseph Mary's husband, while verse 20 calls Mary Joseph's wife. Unconsummated, but still wed. That is why Joseph was considering putting her away privily - putting her away in divorce.

pt, I never said anything about hotel rooms. A hotel is not the same as a house. And you cannot stretch it to be so.

Again, the Bible says, "Let him that thinketh he standeth, take heed lest he fall." When a person believes they are strong enough to avoid sin, they become arrogant...and that leads to destruction.