Disciplining your children

[JerryNumbers]

Long lecture Yes
Grounding Yes
Spanking No

Hard to vote, but my daughter is now 37 and the above is what I used.

I must say, spanking is right for some children, lecture is right for other children. I don't think spanking and or lecturing is right for ever child. A parent has to see what works on each of their children, then use what works, it may be different on each child.

I have no memory prior to August 1951 before I turned 5 that following December. I had a tragic event happen in that month. The man I called father and the woman I called mother after that, I have no memory of them ever laying a hand on me, they always lectured me. Since he died, I have wondered many times, did he never whip me because of the event that happened just prior to me coming to live with them, or was that just his way of doing things, or was it because he lost his mother as about 2 years of age, I lost mine at about 20 months of age, the my birth father put me and brother on an orphan home. I feel that had something to do with the way he handle matters with me.

The woman who I called grand mother slapped me once. I must say, when she slapped me I was in total shock. But I learned that one never disputes her word or any gown up person.

I'm rightly ashamed of it, but I did slap my daughter once. She got real smart with me because I would not let her do what some of her friend where going to do. She said she was going to call the child abuse people on me. I slapped her face, we were standing right close to the phone. I picked up the phone, dialed 0, asked he operator who I could report a child being abuse to.

My daughter asked me what I was doing, I told her, I getting the child abuse people on the phone where you can talk to them. At that moment she broke out in tears, saying daddy I love you, you never have abused me.

I reminded her that she wanted to report me to the child abuse people, that I'm just helping you get them on the phone, she apologized to me and hugged my neck. She never argued with me again when I said no. I'm not sure, but she was probably about 10 to 12 years of age when that happened. That is the only time I ever laid a hand on her.

So I suppose rightly it was the right thing to do at that moment, she has never forgot it, in fact she mentioned it to me just a day or 2 ago and said I did the right thing.

I might add, I had a good friend, his father was a deacon in our church, wow, I've seen him get a whipping like you would not believe with a belt. Actually I never saw it, for he would take him in another room or around the corner, but I heard the results of his belt hitting his back side. It was loud.

But, it was always over his younger brother Gary, Gary was always wanting to play with us when we were at his house. For some reason that would aggravate Dennis, it never bothered me, them Dennis would do something mean to Gary. Like the time he took fresh cow manure off the floor of the barn and rubbed in Gary's face. After the whipping Dennis got that day I could see tears running down his face, but ever time I heard the belt hit him that day, I winched and could easily imagine how that belt felt on Dennis's behind.

[Anon]

Jerry as much as you like to follow the Bible to a "T" I'm surprised that you don't believe in any kind of spanking whatsoever.

I'm not saying using it all the time but the Bible does teach spanking.

[lettheredeemedsayso]

Check out today's Bible reading. I believe that alot of christians are actually afraid of disciplining their children. I don't believe it is always necessary but I also believe God. There is so much abuse today that it has caused many Christians to shy away for discipling. Hence we see a society that has become lax and children are the ones suffering for our failure to heed God's word. No correction is ever an easy thing and like the Lord we don't want to do it but when it is necessary we must because we love our children. The following verse is speaking of the Lord chasten His child. I believe that this verse models for us the example of the attitude that we should have in discipline.

Hbr 12:11 Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.

I think if people that don't believe in chastening should go and visit Bro Roloff's homes or some of the others homes for children. They would see the results. Children crave structure and boundries and oftentimes to enforce the boundries they must be spanked.

[John81]

I do agree with Jerry that spanking isn't the right correction for every occasion and that discipline needs to be different for different children.

Our two sons are a prime example of this. With our oldest son, all too often nothing but a spanking will get his attention. With our youngest son, most often all I have to do is talk with him; it's very rare a spanking is necessary for our youngest son.

Of course, our oldest son seems to think he should be able to do whatever he wents whenever he wants simply because he wants to and says he doesn't bother to think about the rules when he wants to do something against them.

On the other hand, our youngest son is very attentive to wanting to be helpful and is really grieved when he does something to get in trouble and he's quick to repent.

So, for us and our two boys, discipline is definetly specific to each child and markedly different.

[JerryNumbers]

Jerry as much as you like to follow the Bible to a "T" I'm surprised that you don't believe in any kind of spanking whatsoever.

I'm not saying using it all the time but the Bible does teach spanking.

Please reread my post. I did not say that I did not believe in spanking, for I do.

But that said, some children you do not have to spank, you can talk to them, lecture them, and it takes care of the matter.

It appears to me, a family can have 2 boys, when they get in trouble, it may be for one it takes a spanking to get the point across, but the other one it takes only a good talking to.

With my daughter, a talking to always got the point across and the matter was settled and did not occur again.

By the way, Jerri Lynn has told me many times since growing up, that she would have rather had me give her a spanking instead of making her listen to one of my lectures.

And what I said about my friend, I think he needed a spanking for the way he did his brother, I frankly could never understand why he was always so mean to his brother. But he had 8 brothers and sisters.

I alway love to be at there house, I believe the main reason for this was I had 11 brothers and sister, but just grew up knowing one of them, perhaps being around this large family filled in a void that I had in my life. One thing I always wanted when I was young, an older brother, yet I had one, but didn't have one, for one was in an orphan home, and the others I did not even know they existed until years later.

I always felt they were people that should have been in my life, but were missing. When I finally found all of them, it surely filled in many blank spots and ? marks.

[John81]

By the way, Jerri Lynn has told me many times since growing up, that she would have rather had me give her a spanking instead of making her listen to one of my lectures.

My Dad has said that. He said he preferred the spankings over lectures because that talking too hurt him more.

[JerryNumbers]

I recall times that I wish father would go on and whip me and get it over with, and I'm 60 years old.