Putting your parents in a nursing home, Sin?

[TheGloryLand]

This is sad, but it may come a day when you will have to put your parents in a nursing home. I know a couple in my church, first, the wife with Alzheimer’s was placed in the nursing home, later the husband health issues. Sad, this Christian couple that live over 50 years together, are separate into different nursing homes. Some might say, is this God’s plan that they end their lives this way?  I believe the children should take care of their parents as long as they can, but if this cannot be done because of their health conditions, and they need professional service it’s OK. Those children that take care of their parents to the end, these will be blessed and live a very long life here on earth …. Take Care, and do well.

[BrotherTony]

2 minutes ago, TheGloryLand said:

This is sad, but it may come a day when you will have to put your parents in a nursing home. I know a couple in my church, first, the wife with Alzheimer’s was placed in the nursing home, later the husband health issues. Sad, this Christian couple that live over 50 years together, are separate into different nursing homes. Some might say, is this God’s plan that they end their lives this way?  I believe the children should take care of their parents as long as they can, but if this cannot be done because of their health conditions, and they need professional service it’s OK. Those children that take care of their parents to the end, these will be blessed and live a very long life here on earth …. Take Care, and do well.

In my family, my maternal grandmother developed dementia and later full-blown Alzheimer's. It put enough stress on my grandfather that he eventually had a major stroke. My grandma was put into the same nursing home that her mother had spent the last years of her life in. Grandpa was shuffled between my parents and my aunt and uncle. Grandma was in Indiana and grandpa was in Indiana for a few months each year, but he was mostly in Georgia where my parents lived. My aunt and uncle were usually on the road in their RV checking on my uncles former students from Indiana State University. 

If there is no other choice there's not much that can be done. It's far from being a sin unless there were some way to effectively and safely take care of the parents.

[HappyChristian]

My mom took care of her mom until her death at almost 102. She was also taking care of my dad, who passed 4 months later. She reared four children mostly alone for many years and did a pretty good job of it...my mom deserves being taken care of by family. I was basically elected to do that, even though I would do it whether the others agree or not. She is pretty healthy for her age, thankfully (probably genes from  my grandma). My husband is a wonderful man who treats her like his own mom. She doesn't have anything to worry about.

I agree with Tony that it isn't a sin to put parents in a place where they can get care - IF the children cannot do it (not just don't want to), and IF said home is good. Too many of them are not.

[SureWord]

I eventually had to put my father in a nursing home for hospice care. It became too much with his bed sores for me to care for. Me by myself with no help from anyone else in the family. No wife or siblings, nobody.  Not even any aides wanted to come out to where we lived so far outside of town. He was a big man and could no longer help me with moving his body. Along with other health and mental issues he developed it spiraled out of control. It was at the point when I could barely even leave the house to go shopping which would be the only reason I leaved. Forgot about church. 

So, no, it's not a sin and nobody better judge me.

[Martyr_4_FutureJoy]

On 8/14/2023 at 5:15 PM, TheGloryLand said:

This is sad,

Yes,  as it is,  as it has been,  as has been noted,  is way way way more than sad....

Just to see what would come up for illumination,   I searched online simple:

'a good church helps take care ... ... '  

and this first item quoted that came up is fairly illustrative of how far from Scripture most are (including the source quoted, btw) : 

"What is the role of churches in caring for the aging population?

February 23, 2022 - As a church we must have a great deal of respect for the aging generation, as we are commanded by God in Leviticus 19:32 stating, “Stand up in the presence of the aged, show respect for the elderly and revere your God. I am the LORD” (NIV). We are also called to care for widows and orphans, help the weak, honor our parents, and care for our families..."

 

Even more sad, or worse,  is that most think that the condition of the church they are in,  that is not fulfilling God's Own Word,  is okay and nothing can be done to fix it,  or even worse that nothing should be done to fix it - no one it seems knows how to fulfill Ephesians et al about training the believers to do what is right - after all,  who cares ?   Not enough,  it seems.

 

Edited August 17, 2023 by Martyr_4_FutureJoy

[TheGloryLand]

11 hours ago, Martyr_4_FutureJoy said:

Yes,  as it is,  as it has been,  as has been noted,  is way way way more than sad....

Just to see what would come up for illumination,   I searched online simple:

'a good church helps take care ... ... '  

and this first item quoted that came up is fairly illustrative of how far from Scripture most are (including the source quoted, btw) : 

"What is the role of churches in caring for the aging population?

February 23, 2022 - As a church we must have a great deal of respect for the aging generation, as we are commanded by God in Leviticus 19:32 stating, “Stand up in the presence of the aged, show respect for the elderly and revere your God. I am the LORD” (NIV). We are also called to care for widows and orphans, help the weak, honor our parents, and care for our families..."

 

Even more sad, or worse,  is that most think that the condition of the church they are in,  that is not fulfilling God's Own Word,  is okay and nothing can be done to fix it,  or even worse that nothing should be done to fix it - no one it seems knows how to fulfill Ephesians et al about training the believers to do what is right - after all,  who cares ?   Not enough,  it seems.

 

If the church new that they we’re going to receive some inheritance, they would stay closer to their sick members? Do you think this could happen in this business world today. 

[Martyr_4_FutureJoy]

What does Jesus say on Judgment day to those who cared for the sick, the hungry, the homeless,  today ? 

 

[TheGloryLand]

54 minutes ago, Martyr_4_FutureJoy said:

What does Jesus say on Judgment day to those who cared for the sick, the hungry, the homeless,  today ? 

 

Well done

[BrotherTony]

1 hour ago, Martyr_4_FutureJoy said:

What does Jesus say on Judgment day to those who cared for the sick, the hungry, the homeless,  today ? 

 

So, are you advocating for children who aren't qualified to treat or attend to many physical ailments, ie, dementia, Alzheimer's, Lou Gehrigs, etc, to do it anyway? It's not a smart thing to do. I helped take care of my grandmother who had Alzheimer's, but, only until it became apparent that neither my grandfather nor I could properly care for her. We did it for the same with a family member that had been burned in a fire back in the mid 80s. In her case there were certain medications and treatments that had to be administered by a professional. The Lord will indeed say well done to those who can take care of them, but those who have done their best will receive the same acknowledgement.

[Disciple.Luke]

6 hours ago, BrotherTony said:

So, are you advocating for children who aren't qualified to treat or attend to many physical ailments, ie, dementia, Alzheimer's, Lou Gehrigs, etc, to do it anyway? It's not a smart thing to do. I helped take care of my grandmother who had Alzheimer's, but, only until it became apparent that neither my grandfather nor I could properly care for her. We did it for the same with a family member that had been burned in a fire back in the mid 80s. In her case there were certain medications and treatments that had to be administered by a professional. The Lord will indeed say well done to those who can take care of them, but those who have done their best will receive the same acknowledgement.

That's true, Tony. I seen how my mother and her siblings were unable to handle taking care of their Aunt with dementia. It got a point where she believed that money was missing from her account or out of her purse, forgot things like to debone chicken before cooking it and there were potential violent situations because she forget that other people were in the house with her.

Even her Pastor tried to help her by picking her up for church and helping her with finances until she began to make the same accusations of money missing towards him and at that point he knew he couldn't continue to help in that capacity.

Edited October 6, 2023 by Disciple.Luke

[Joe Chandler]

 

On 8/14/2023 at 6:15 PM, TheGloryLand said:

This is sad, but it may come a day when you will have to put your parents in a nursing home. I know a couple in my church, first, the wife with Alzheimer’s was placed in the nursing home, later the husband health issues. Sad, this Christian couple that live over 50 years together, are separate into different nursing homes. Some might say, is this God’s plan that they end their lives this way?  I believe the children should take care of their parents as long as they can, but if this cannot be done because of their health conditions, and they need professional service it’s OK. Those children that take care of their parents to the end, these will be blessed and live a very long life here on earth …. Take Care, and do well.

My wife and I took care of my mother until she died. She had dementia. I could calm her down when she became upset, but she was 5'3" and I am 6'3". I could sit next to her and put my arms around her and she would relax. I have already instructed my children to put me in a nursing home if I get dementia. What if I become violent or abusive. I don't want to put my kids through that, but I suspect that they will try to take care of me.