Man Can Live With Out A Woman...

[The Glory Land]

Has to be married before the Lord will allow him to Pastor, don't the Scriptures (Titus and Timothy) say such?

 

"A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach;" - 1 Timothy 3:2

 

As for the title of the OP - I could not live without my wife, would not be alive today if it were not for my wife.  

 

 

 

 

How about if he is fat and ugly.... 

[robmac68]

Umm... if God doesn't happen to send him a wife, he can hardly be blamed for not marrying one. Just sayin'...

I believe if God calls a man to be a pastor, than God will absolutely send him a wife.  I believe Scripture states the pre-requisites of pastoring is the husband of one wife and God would not go against His own Word. 

 

 

edited to add:  according to thread, I will say I believe a single man can give marital advice.  I believe a single man can give Scriptural marital advice.  I am not much into a single man, never widowed, being a pastor.  Maybe assistant pastor under a mentor and not yet married, but not a pastor.

[The Glory Land]

If a man wife is a stumbling block, for him serving God, was he not better off being single?

[swathdiver]

If a man wife is a stumbling block, for him serving God, was he not better off being single?

 

I believe there's punctuation missing in this statement!  If read as is, it would seem to say that if a Pastor's husband (both pastor and man wife are men) it would be a stumbling block and yes, he would be better off with out a man for a wife!  

[Anon]

There are two ways of looking at that verse, "Husband of one wife".

One is that he HAS to be a husband. The other, is that "If a husband, he can only have one wife."

I'm personally not sure which it means. But practically speaking, a single pastor is just asking for women trouble. Also, it will be difficult for him to do marriage counseling, similar to a childless pastor trying to counsel people in raising kids.

(Which incidentally, I don't think a pastor is required to have children, even though the qualifications, I believe, require him to lead his entire family well?)

I personally am not sure that the qualification is MUST be married, because Paul specifically said it is best if people remain "even as I" so they can give their whole heart and soul to serve God. Comparing Scripture with Scripture, it would seem to me that "Husband of one wife" means "as opposed to polygamy".

But good men agree to disagree on it. I wouldn't be comfy with a single pastor...although there are plenty of widowed pastors....and a few that probably find a good wife a year or two into the ministry.

[JerryNumbers]

Isnt a pastor supposed to be married?  Or at least widowed? 

 

1Ti 3:2 A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach;

 

1Ti 3:4 One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity;

1Ti 3:5 (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)

 

Tit 1:6 If any be blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children not accused of riot or unruly.

 

Yes, husband of one wife.

 

I can easily see why many pastors are having a difficult time if they have a wife & children, especially several children at home, taking care of wife & children takes up much time if done properly & if a pastor pastor a church properly it may leave little family time depending on the church & its members needs.

[JerryNumbers]

A Pastor that's never been married is not qualified to be a Pastor.  If he lacks the sense to follow the Bible verses on being a preacher, can he be trusted for anything else?  No, for he is out of the will of God.

 

A preacher yes, a pastor of a New Testament Church, no. For he does not meet the qualifications, he is a novice, & you cannot determine any of this about him if he has not a wife & children. And of course if the children are young you still cannot determine it.

 

.1Ti 3:2 A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach;

1Ti 3:3 Not given to wine, no striker, not greedy of filthy lucre; but patient, not a brawler, not covetous;

1Ti 3:4 One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity;

1Ti 3:5 (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)

1Ti 3:6 Not a novice, lest being lifted up with pride he fall into the condemnation of the devil.

1Ti 3:7 Moreover he must have a good report of them which are without; lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil

 

Tit 1:6 ¶ If any be blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children not accused of riot or unruly.

Tit 1:7 For a bishop must be blameless, as the steward of God; not selfwilled, not soon angry, not given to wine, no striker, not given to filthy lucre;

Tit 1:8 But a lover of hospitality, a lover of good men, sober, just, holy, temperate;

Tit 1:9 Holding fast the faithful word as he hath been taught, that he may be able by sound doctrine both to exhort and to convince the gainsayers.

 

With that said it seems many there be that pay little to no attention to the qualifications of a pastor given within the pages of the Bible.

[JerryNumbers]

The pastor was pastor of a small Independent Baptist Church in a small town. This small town had two Independent Baptist Churches, yet he was pastor of the smaller one.

 

One Sunday night after their services he got a call from a deacon of the larger Independent Baptist Church asking him to come be their pastor. As he hung up the telephone he hollers out to his wife telling her, "The large Independent Baptist Church on the other end of town just called me to be their pastor. You start packing our things while I go down to the basement to pray to God about this. As soon as I get the prayer said I'll be right back up & help you get all of our stuff packed so we can move over there the 1st thing in the morning."

 

Wonder, how many like this one had their mind made up before the call came asking them to pastor a larger church? I know of one who turned down the larger church. He was a bi-vocational pastor & another church called him that would have been full time. He told me about this in confidence about two years afterwards saying, "I feel God called me to this church & the work that He has called me to do is not yet finished, & went on giving other details about it them asking me if I thought he did the right thing."

 

I told him, "From what I have seen of you, heard you preach in your home church, & talked with the members of this church, you did the right thing."

 

He them said, "Well it was a difficult decision, it would have been a move up, I prayed about it several times a day for two weeks, & I just could not see that God was really opening up this door for me." That was in the late 90's, & he is still at the same church doing God's work.

 

I fear most pastors would have done as the pastor in the little story I told about, headed to the basement to pray while telling the wife to start packing & that he would join her in packing very shortly so they could leave the 1st thing in the morning.

[HappyChristian]

To try and say that a man must have a wife to pastor based on the verses that say a pastor is to be the husband of one wife would end in saying that a pastor must also have children because the Bible says he's got to have his children under control.

 

And then we have to go one step further and say that all deacons must also be married, because that same passage says deacons are to be husbands of one wife.  And they also must have children because they are to rule their children well.

 

God doesn't give everyone children -- so childless men cannot be pastors if unmarried men cannot be.  Nor can childless or unmarried men be deacons.  It's all right there in the same passage.

 

Problem is, the application is tradition of men rather than doctrine of God.

[JerryNumbers]

No he does not, yet the verses says that a bishop is suppose to;

 

1Ti 3:4 One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity;

1Ti 3:5 (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)

 

You cannot know that he rule his own house & his children are in subjection unless he is married with children, that is he has not proved himself qualified to be a pastor.

 

And after all:

 

Tit 1:6 ¶ If any be blameless, the husband of one wife

 

It says, if blameless, the husband of one wife, if theses qualification are not met there is no need to go any further.

 

And:

 

1Ti 3:6 Not a novice, lest being lifted up with pride he fall into the condemnation of the devil.

 

To many churches places a novice behind the pulpit.

 

Of course they say, "Oh, that other church did & it worked out just fine," we are not to do what others do, we are to go by the Word, & follow our Savior closely.

[HappyChristian]

I agree a novice shouldn't be in the pulpit.  Anyone who's had any experience with life knows that novice's are often high-minded and full of themselves, just as the Bible says.

 

To create a doctrine, though, that a pastor HAS to be married (rather than just accepting what scripture says that he have only one wife...but not as an order to marry, just as a warning that they aren't to pastor if they have more than one wife) is man-made.  Just as stating that a man must have children to be a pastor (because that's in the reading, too).  As well as deacons...because the Bible says deacons are to be the husbands of one wife.  If we create a doctrine, we gotta accept it all, not just what we want to, else it breaks down in the long run. Of course, false doctrine has a tendency to do that, anyway.

 

So - no unmarried man can pastor.  No childless man can pastor.  No unmarried man can be a deacon. No childless man can be a deacon.  No widower can pastor.  No widower can be a deacon.  Sigh.  SMH at the silliness of mankind sometimes.  

[swathdiver]

I would imagine that a pastor whose children are grown is still qualified to hold the office.  I do not think a divorced man is qualified to preach but that a widower could since one did not obey the marriage covenant while the other was faithful.

[JerryNumbers]

I would imagine that a pastor whose children are grown is still qualified to hold the office.  I do not think a divorced man is qualified to preach but that a widower could since one did not obey the marriage covenant while the other was faithful.

 

Of course, if the children are infants, young, you really cannot not tell if they will be faithful or not, how the man is actually ruling his home. And when his children have grown up, left home, them you can have an idea if they're faithful or not, & of course when his children are grown & have left home he will have plenty of time for the Lord's work.

 

[JerryNumbers]

I agree a novice shouldn't be in the pulpit.  Anyone who's had any experience with life knows that novice's are often high-minded and full of themselves, just as the Bible says.

 

To create a doctrine, though, that a pastor HAS to be married (rather than just accepting what scripture says that he have only one wife...but not as an order to marry, just as a warning that they aren't to pastor if they have more than one wife) is man-made.  Just as stating that a man must have children to be a pastor (because that's in the reading, too).  As well as deacons...because the Bible says deacons are to be the husbands of one wife.  If we create a doctrine, we gotta accept it all, not just what we want to, else it breaks down in the long run. Of course, false doctrine has a tendency to do that, anyway.

 

So - no unmarried man can pastor.  No childless man can pastor.  No unmarried man can be a deacon. No childless man can be a deacon.  No widower can pastor.  No widower can be a deacon.  Sigh.  SMH at the silliness of mankind sometimes.  

 

Creating doctrine, not at all, here are the qualifications for a pastor of a New Testament Church.

 

 

1Ti 3:1 ¶ This is a true saying, If a man desire the office of a bishop, he desireth a good work.

1Ti 3:2 A bishop then  must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach;

1Ti 3:3 Not given to wine, no striker, not greedy of filthy lucre; but patient, not a brawler, not covetous;

1Ti 3:4 One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity;

1Ti 3:5 (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)

1Ti 3:6 Not a novice, lest being lifted up with pride he fall into the condemnation of the devil.

1Ti 3:7 Moreover he must have a good report of them which are without; lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil.

 

Tit 1:6 ¶ If any be blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children not accused of riot or unruly.

Tit 1:7 For a bishop must be blameless, as the steward of God; not selfwilled, not soon angry, not given to wine, no striker, not given to filthy lucre;

Tit 1:8 But a lover of hospitality, a lover of good men, sober, just, holy, temperate;

Tit 1:9 Holding fast the faithful word as he hath been taught, that he may be able by sound doctrine both to exhort and to convince the gainsayers.

Tit 1:10 For there are many unruly and vain talkers and deceivers, specially they of the circumcision:

Tit 1:11 Whose mouths must be stopped, who subvert whole houses, teaching things which they ought not, for filthy lucre's sake.

[HappyChristian]

 

Creating doctrine, not at all, here are the qualifications for a pastor of a New Testament Church.

 

 

1Ti 3:1 ¶ This is a true saying, If a man desire the office of a bishop, he desireth a good work.

1Ti 3:2 A bishop then  must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach;

1Ti 3:3 Not given to wine, no striker, not greedy of filthy lucre; but patient, not a brawler, not covetous;

1Ti 3:4 One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity;

1Ti 3:5 (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)

1Ti 3:6 Not a novice, lest being lifted up with pride he fall into the condemnation of the devil.

1Ti 3:7 Moreover he must have a good report of them which are without; lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil.

 

Tit 1:6 ¶ If any be blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children not accused of riot or unruly.

Tit 1:7 For a bishop must be blameless, as the steward of God; not selfwilled, not soon angry, not given to wine, no striker, not given to filthy lucre;

Tit 1:8 But a lover of hospitality, a lover of good men, sober, just, holy, temperate;

Tit 1:9 Holding fast the faithful word as he hath been taught, that he may be able by sound doctrine both to exhort and to convince the gainsayers.

Tit 1:10 For there are many unruly and vain talkers and deceivers, specially they of the circumcision:

Tit 1:11 Whose mouths must be stopped, who subvert whole houses, teaching things which they ought not, for filthy lucre's sake.

 

Jerry, I know the qualifications.  Quite well, actually.  The doctrine that is being created (or has been, in some circles) is that a man MUST be married in order to pastor.  If that is the case, the man MUST have children - and there are a lot of good pastors out there to whom God has never given children...so, they are disqualified according to the spurious doctrine that they MUST be married.

 

Again, this would also apply to deacons.  I think it's interesting that, even though I've mentioned the fact that if you hold to that about pastors you must about deacons, you didn't post the verses about deacons:

 

1 Timothy 3: 8-12

 

Likewise [that's following on the heels of bishop qualifications, and it is telling us that in the same way] must the deacons be grave, not double-tongued, not given to much wine, not greedy of filthy lucre; holding the mystery of the faith in a pure conscience.  And let these also first be proved; then let them use the office of a deacon, being found blameless.  Even so must their wives be grave, not slanderers, sober, faithful in all things.  Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well.

 

Teaching that a man MUST be married to pastor is "teaching things which they ought not."