Computer Trouble

[Charbo]

Actual dialog of a former Wordperfect Customer Support employee:

"Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"

"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

"What sort of trouble?"

"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words
went away.",

"Went away?"

"They disappeared."

"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

"How do I tell?"

"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"

"What's a sea-prompt?"

"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"

"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I
type."

"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

"What's a monitor?"

"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have
a little light that tells you when it's on?"

"I don't know."

"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power
cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

...."Yes, I think so."

"Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into
the wall."

...."Yes, it is."

"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two
cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

"No."

"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

...."Okay, here it is."

"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of
your computer."

"I can't reach."

"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

"No."

"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle-it's because
it's dark."

"Dark?"

"Yes-the office light is off, and the only light I have is
coming in from the window."

"Well, turn on the office light then."

"I can't."

"No? Why not?"

"Because there's a power outage."

"A power... A power outage? Aha! Okay, we've got it licked now. Do
you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your
computer came in?"

"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

"Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it
was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

"Really? Is it that bad?"

"Yes, I'm afraid it is."

"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."

[IM4given]

:nutty :nutty :nutty

[qwerty guy]

I don't doubt this... the most common asked question for years on support lines was "where is the any key?"

[chev1958]

Yeah, that's similar to the radio broadcaster who told me to hit the "A" key when I was ready to record my sermon. He even pointed to it on the keyboard so I would understand. When I looked at the screen, the prompt read: "Hit A Key When Ready to Record." I hit the "enter" key instead, and everything worked fine. And this kid was about half my age. :roll

Mitch

[IM4given]

I made a tech support guy really mad at me onetime when I called my C Drive the "cup holder" I was only kidding but he went ballistic! :lol:

[dwayner79]

I made a tech support guy really mad at me onetime when I called my C Drive the "cup holder" I was only kidding but he went ballistic!

Yea, everyone knows the D drive is the cup holder...

[dwayner79]

Actual dialog of a former Wordperfect Customer Support employee:

Of course this is not true, but it does make you laugh.

We did have a certain executive from a certain well known health insurance company that I offered tech support to use his CD drive as a cupholder. He did it for attention... I hope.

[kevinmiller]

I assumed it wasn't true. No tech with half a brain in his head would say that to a customer. Most techs treat you like you're stupid to begin with anyway. :frog