Sexual deviancy in the church

[Anthony John Thornton]

I realize this may be a somewhat questionable question because of the topic, but I feel it's necessary to ask. Here's some back story before I ask the question.

 

I'm an assistant pastor at my church. I'm also the RU director. I had a guy, last year, get busted for being in town in drag. People told me they saw him. I confronted him, not in a harsh way, but in a Biblical way. He told me it was true. I've been working closely with this guy for a year now. Very few people knew about it. He came to me later and thanked me for confronting him and said the Lord was dealing with him. I thought "amen, that's what we are supposed to do."  He's got 15 months sober from alcohol. Two weeks ago, he showed up to a church function, in a service capacity (usher/security) with makeup on. Some of our members asked him if he was wearing makeup, which is a legitimate question to ask as far as I am concerned. He denied it. Essentially, I have confronted him and his sin again, but he has dug his heels in and says he sees nothing wrong with it. Of course I showed him from the Bible from Old Testament to New Testament how it's not of the Lord to do it. It's not just the blurring of gender lines but also the rebellion, disregard of God's word, and literal pride associated with him wanting to "express" himself. He also has a homosexual-encounter past. I believe the Lord can deliver anyone from anything, truly. There are tons of layers here from his wife, who I think is a lesbian, to him replacing alcohol with being in drag, to him watching porn etc.

 

My question is, has anyone else had to deal with this? I know adultery is pretty typical but cross dressing is a new one for me. I know it's wrong Biblically, both the cross dressing and gender bending, but it's also pride. I wonder if anyone has any advice on it. He "left" the church but I still have hope and faith the Lord will drive him back to Him.

[Pastor Matt]

Thankfully we've not had to deal with this yet. I'll be praying for you guys. Let us know how it all works out. 

[Anthony John Thornton]

1 hour ago, PastorMatt said:

Thankfully we've not had to deal with this yet. I'll be praying for you guys. Let us know how it all works out. 

So far he says he won't come back because we won't accept him. It's his lifestyle we don't accept. I told him he could come back to church but just not serve. He left on his own volition. He says we "ran" him off, which isn't true. We never told him to leave. What's incredible is, he has a huge knowledge of the Bible. I'd say he's one of the more astute Bible studiers (if that's a word) we have at the church. It just shows, though, that it's all head knowledge and no heart knowledge. His defensive reactions are reflexive because he knows it's wrong but his flesh is overriding the Spirit.

[SureWord]

4 hours ago, Anthony John Thornton said:

So far he says he won't come back because we won't accept him. It's his lifestyle we don't accept. I told him he could come back to church but just not serve. He left on his own volition. He says we "ran" him off, which isn't true. We never told him to leave. What's incredible is, he has a huge knowledge of the Bible. I'd say he's one of the more astute Bible studiers (if that's a word) we have at the church. It just shows, though, that it's all head knowledge and no heart knowledge. His defensive reactions are reflexive because he knows it's wrong but his flesh is overriding the Spirit.

Don't let him back in until he repents. Being tolerant is what has destroyed many churches.

[Anthony John Thornton]

8 hours ago, SureWord said:

Don't let him back in until he repents. Being tolerant is what has destroyed many churches.

No doubt. His supposed repentance is what allowed him to come back the first time. It just boggles my mind how a Christian (perhaps in name only) can live like that and think it's ok.

[Jim_Alaska]

Just the fact that he left is grounds for serious discipline, but coupled with what you described, this church needs to take action. (not my call, just my opinion)

Allowing a member that is this far out of line can be extremely dangerous to the whole congregation. 1 Corinthians 11:30 (KJV) For this cause many are weak and sickly among you, and many sleep. 1Co 11:31 For if we would judge ourselves, we should not be judged.
1Co 11:32 But when we are judged, we are chastened of the Lord, that we should not be condemned with the world.
 

[Anthony John Thornton]

4 hours ago, Jim_Alaska said:

Just the fact that he left is grounds for serious discipline, but coupled with what you described, this church needs to take action. (not my call, just my opinion)

Allowing a member that is this far out of line can be extremely dangerous to the whole congregation. 1 Corinthians 11:30 (KJV) For this cause many are weak and sickly among you, and many sleep. 1Co 11:31 For if we would judge ourselves, we should not be judged.
1Co 11:32 But when we are judged, we are chastened of the Lord, that we should not be condemned with the world.
 

Yep, I tried to restore him (Galatians 6) after I reproved, rebuked, and exhorted (2 Tim. 4) him. I took it directly to him (Matthew 18:15). Now I am at 2 Thessalonians 3:14 "And if any man obey not our word by this epistle, note that man, and have no company with him, that he may be ashamed" unfortunately. I'm not as heavy burdened for it as I was when this all started. I do want him to get right but it's out of our hands now.