How to protect our boys

[John81]

How do I protect the eyes, and heart, of my 13 year old son from the almost constant display female skin all about?

Things were bad enough when I was a teen but they are so much worse now. We stopped at a gas station today and while there a car load of teen girls pulls in. They all get out of the car and they are all wearing shorts so short and tight that I don't know how they got them on or how they can even move in them. Thankfully for myself, seeing such doesn't cause me to lust and I can turn my eyes, but when I was a teen I no doubt would have lusted and my eyes would have been glued to them.

We now have teen girls living across from us and they wear shorts and tank tops out in the yard all the time, as do their friends that come over.

Most of us know how so many women dress in Wal-Mart, at the park or walking down the road.

Of course I know what the Bible says about such things and we put that into our training of our son but with it all around him, almost constantly, I guess maybe I was just wondering if anyone had any practical thoughts on this; something you have tried that worked, suggestions, anything.

We will certainly continue to train him in the ways of the Word and keep him in prayer about such matters and trust God.

It's just such a difficult thing our young boys have to deal with, and at such young ages.

[Anon]

I have no answer but I know what you mean...with four boys, one of them reaching teenage-hood (he just turned 11) I have no clue. When I was growing up, I was NEVER exposed to the amount of s*x that our generation is being exposed to, just out in public, and with other "friends"....

[farouk]

I'm sure part of the answer must be in encouraging an ongoing occupation with the Scriptures and prayer, individually and collectively.

[Miss Linda]

I am constantly amazed and very embarrassed at the way people (particularly women) dress in public. I can only imagine what it must be like to be the father of a young boy, anxious for his soul. I hope he has a few friends of his own age who are church members that he can be friends with. Godly associations can be such a help in keeping out of trouble!

Have you ever read the following titles by John Angell James? I've only read a few sentences here and there but I am certain they are as wonderful as all his other books. He offers excellent godly advice to young men who are venturing out into the world. Perhaps these would be good books to get your son.

The Young Man From Home
http://www.amazon.com/Young-Home-John-Angell-James/dp/0217621937/ref=sr_1_47?ie=UTF8&qid=1308925200&sr=8-47

The Young Man's Friend and Guide Through Life to Immortality
http://www.amazon.com/Young-Friend-Guide-Through-Immortality/dp/021737686X/ref=sr_1_46?ie=UTF8&qid=1308925137&sr=8-46

[HappyChristian]

Another good book is Thoughts for Young Men by J.C. Ryle. It's a very good book, not long at all, and quite readable.

http://www.amazon.com/Thoughts-Young-Men-J-Ryle/dp/1879737183

http://www.preachtheword.com/bookstore/thoughts.pdf

[no name joe]

I don't think you can protect them. We can only train them up in the way they should go. I think the best way to avoid lust is to see women as fellow sisters, to treat them as we would want to be treated, to treat them as we would want someone to treat our daughters, to respect them, and to know them as people. Once we know someone as a person, it is much more difficult to entertain lustful thoughts.

So, we should train young men to be gentlemen. We should train them to think of other women in a manner of respect. That is the best weapon to combat lust.

[irishman]

I don't think you can protect them. We can only train them up in the way they should go. I think the best way to avoid lust is to see women as fellow sisters, to treat them as we would want to be treated, to treat them as we would want someone to treat our daughters, to respect them, and to know them as people. Once we know someone as a person, it is much more difficult to entertain lustful thoughts.

So, we should train young men to be gentlemen. We should train them to think of other women in a manner of respect. That is the best weapon to combat lust.

Though ladies dressed much more modestly in those days, one could imagine what Christ would do. I believe, as He walked through the multitudes, that He saw ans heard things that were repulsive to him. All we can really hope to do is set a good example, and rely on God's grace. Jesus did not "friendship" with unbelievers. We need to choose their friends in the area that we have control; they are not mature enough to make the right decisions yet.(This may even include Christian friends. My wife and I would not allow our kids to go to services with "split sessions" unless at least one of us was with them. Some speakers, though well meaning perhaps, cause curiosity where ther is already a lot of curiosity). Edited June 24, 2011 by irishman

[Miss Linda]

Though ladies dressed much more modestly in those days, one could imagine what Christ would do. I believe, as He walked through the multitudes, that He saw ans heard things that were repulsive to him. All we can really hope to do is set a good example, and rely on God's grace. Jesus did not "friendship" with unbelievers. We need to choose their friends in the area that we have control; they are not mature enough to make the right decisions yet.

Nice to see you here again, Irishman! I've been praying for you!

[farouk]

I am constantly amazed and very embarrassed at the way people (particularly women) dress in public. I can only imagine what it must be like to be the father of a young boy, anxious for his soul. I hope he has a few friends of his own age who are church members that he can be friends with. Godly associations can be such a help in keeping out of trouble!

Have you ever read the following titles by John Angell James? I've only read a few sentences here and there but I am certain they are as wonderful as all his other books. He offers excellent godly advice to young men who are venturing out into the world. Perhaps these would be good books to get your son.

The Young Man From Home
http://www.amazon.com/Young-Home-John-Angell-James/dp/0217621937/ref=sr_1_47?ie=UTF8&qid=1308925200&sr=8-47

The Young Man's Friend and Guide Through Life to Immortality
http://www.amazon.com/Young-Friend-Guide-Through-Immortality/dp/021737686X/ref=sr_1_46?ie=UTF8&qid=1308925137&sr=8-46

Ms Linda:

Do you know John Angel James's 'An Earnest Ministry'? It was re-issued some years ago.

I think earnest desires for holiness are a heart matter, and it's from the heart that the striving to be holy (which includes, but isn't exclusive to, dress customs) comes.