Need Advice

[amblivion]

Well, today I found out that my sister's boyfriend has moved in with my sisters' temporarily. This kind of shocks me but in a way it does not. Both of my sisters have grown a little more liberal since they have moved out of my parents' home. My mom told me that my sister was not going to tell me nor her because she believed we both would give her a lecture, as we are both known to be conservative. Well, instead my sister opted to tell my dad who apparently just sat there and said um...umm..um on the phone. I think he was so shocked that he didn't know what to say. After he hung up, obviously he told my mom, and he did not approve. I have talked to my sister and told her she is putting herself right into tempations way. I told her she better be very careful because temptation is so easy to fall into. I also told her not to think she was above fallilng into fornication. My parents are going to offer her boyfriend a place to stay at their house, and I asked her to consider it as a serious option. Does anyone have any advice on what other things I can tell her? I will obviously be praying for her and her boyfriend as they are making an unwise choice.

[deafnva77]

as a person who been there (and have friends like this), Usually couples who decided live together have already committed fornication. In fact, moving in with a boyfriend is usually the second step of the relationship. All you can do is pray for her. She have already made up her mind.

I can tell you that It help alot when a father give the security a daughter need. The father should tell her he doesn't approve of this, tell her the conquences of her action, and how much it hurts him,etc. Because daughters look up to their fathers. Otherwise, they'll look elsewhere--boyfriends. My fahter went along with my sins too.

If you want to speak to her logically, She should know that she should not expect him to marry her when he got everything he want. If she say, they are going to get marry.. chances are, he will change his mind. He'll say, well wait til I have enough money, or wait til three month, or little excuses like that. He'll make her wait longer and longer because he is contented with their living arrangement right now. Living together put a strain in the relationship too. People who live together hardly last long.

[John81]

:goodpost: deafnva77

I especially liked the part about the father. All too often parents decide to keep quiet or to express their disapproval a little but not fully. Parents really need to bold and loving and tell it like it is.

By allowing him to live there they are already sinning as they are certainly not avoiding the appearance of evil, they have purposefully placed themselves in the path of temptation, they are ignoring the Word of God and the sister certainly knows she is going against the will of her parents as well.

[deafnva77]

yep, the father need to tell her how disappointed he is in her.

I should also mention about unexpected pregnancy that occurred to some people I knew. They had to deal with the heartbroken situation because the father does not want to have anything to do with the child. Sometimes they will do abortion and later regret having it done and wishing the whole situation had never happened.

there's nothing good that come out of living together.

[amblivion]

Well, I think you missed a part of the story. My other sister lives with my sister too. So it is my two sisters and my younger sister's boyfriend. I asked her straight up if she had fornicated and she said no. I talked to my older sister tonight and it worked right into our conversation. She said everything I said about it was duely noted. I am praying the she will talk to my younger sister and her boyfriend will move in with my parents. My dad talked to my younger sister today after I posted that. I don't know what he said, but they know my parents don't approve.

[deafnva77]

I just assume they both moved out and became liberal didn't realize they lived together. but still, your other sister is more likely to mind her business.

[deafnva77]

I think you did all you can.. you'll just have wait and see.

But, I will tell you that if you let the boyfriend live with the parents. It sometimes make them feel they HAVE to stay in the relationship. BTW, I did live with my exbf parents for alittle while because of his health condition. I promise you it does not work. He need to get his own apartment, or get a male roommate/stay with a male friend. Or move back home

Or if she really, really like him, they should just get marry.

[amblivion]

Well, it would be temporary until he has enough money to get an apartment. So no worries about it being permanent.

[deafnva77]

I still strongly suggest he live elsewhere that has nothing to do with your sister or your sister's family. There something different about allowing the boyfriend in, rather living in the apartment, staying with the gf parents, etc. I guess to them, it a symbol of something more than just dating. I can't explain it... but I know it will tempt them even more.

I was referring to temporary living. It's sort of a trap that they got themselves into hard to get out. your sister probably will follow him once he leave

Just offering my advice based on my experience. I hope it work out for you all and praying.

[John81]

I noted from the OP that the other sister lived there as well. That doesn't change anything, unless it makes it a bit worse, what with her approving of this and allowing it, and the obvious thoughts the world has when they see a guy living with two girls.

Both sisters, as well as the guy, are living in sin. There are other options and even if they are not to the guys liking, he should take one of those rather than to sin, be a cause of sin for both sisters, and to give the appearance of evil.

[John81]

I noted from the OP that the other sister lived there as well. That doesn't change anything, unless it makes it a bit worse, what with her approving of this and allowing it, and the obvious thoughts the world has when they see a guy living with two girls.

Both sisters, as well as the guy, are living in sin. There are other options and even if they are not to the guys liking, he should take one of those rather than to sin, be a cause of sin for both sisters, and to give the appearance of evil.

[deafnva77]

(I though sisters' was a typo for sister's as it happen sometimes to some people)

I think this guy would end up finding a place to live if they broke up. I've seen guys who act like they have no place to go.. but as soon as their gf get pregnant.. they sure do find a place quick. There's something about kids entering the picture that make guys run.

[Guest Guest]

Hi, Amber. I will give you a little situation that happened to my in-laws. When my hubby's youngest brother was 19 he met a girl through one of the other brother's wive's (now). Well...her parents moved up to Michigan, and she was left here in Cleveland b/c she was ahead in high school (she was 17) and going to college, too. My MIL was praying and trying to find a place for her to live. She even asked us (hubby and I) to take her in. My mom advised me to say, "No". If something were to happen to her (pregnant for example) we really don't know her parents at all,KWIM? We took my mom's advice. My old IFB pastor advised them to say, "NO"...too, when they asked.


Anyway, she ended up moving in with my in-laws and right under their noses...they committed fornication. It is a huge house...a huge family. Then, they lived together before getting married. Hubby and I...and, all the siblings knew (except the young ones...our son included). We suspect my FIL knew, and didn't tell my MIL (just a guess). They hid everything (or so they thought). Well, they got married in an IFB church out in Lorain, OH...and b/c her family isn't saved...they brought alcohol into the wedding. It was really a horrible testimony. My in-laws were/are still upset...and, this girl, we pray for her...has taken my BIL so far away from the Lord. I love her, but...she is so "Liberal". Everything turned around when she began living with my In-laws. She was 17-18...began resenting them and their rules, and, it was a mess. She is still very angry...and, I just deal with it...and, try to encourage her, regardless. That is all I can do. Well, something just told me to share this w/you. It is a tough situation. BTW, my other SIL...the one that introduced them (they were like sisters) hid her secrets. I just know this b/c they all tell me everything...and, I keep their secrets. I tell it to JESUS. Pray, pray, pray...on it. :Bible: