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Get Ready to ROFL! Join the Hilarity Brigade in Our Jokes & Humor Forum for Endless Laughter and Good Times!
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The Disease outside is frightful, But the fire is so delightful, There's really no place to go, Think of snow, Think of snow, Think of snow.
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Grif.Net Robert E Griffin · 22h · 12/27/21 Grif.Net - AAADD Many are not old enough to understand this very real health challenge. Yet “Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder” (AAADD) often sneaks up on us “seniors” and can lead to situations like this: I finished my morning coffee and decided to do work on the car, start to the garage and notice the mail on the table. OK, I’m going to work on the car. BUT FIRST I’m going to go through the mail. Lay car keys down on the desk. After discarding the junk mail, I notice the trash can is full. OK, I’ll just put the bills on my desk. BUT FIRST I’ll take the trash out. Since I’m going to be nea…
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12/23/21 Grif.Net - Special Christmas Present It was summer when a father asked his little boy what he wanted that year for Christmas. The boy replied, “A baby sister.” As it turned out, the wife was already pregnant, and delivered on Christmas Eve. On Christmas day she brought home a brand-new baby sister for their son. The little boy was overjoyed. The next summer when the father asked his little boy what he was thinking about for Christmas, the boy said, “If it wouldn’t make mommy too uncomfortable, I’d like a pony.”
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Frist kid, my father is a plumber and he makes 20 dollars the hour Second kid, my father is a electrician and he makes 25 dollars a hour Third kid, my father is the pastor of the church, and it take 4 men to collect all his money every Sunday. Now you know the rest of the story...?
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Some people wake up feeling like a million dollars! I wake up feeling like....INSUFFICIENT FUNDS! ?
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My buddy Jose went to see the baseball game last night. He told me after, he had climbed the flag pole during the game and everyone started to say, Jose can you see… Now you know the rest of the story ?
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One member said, our new pastor is like the new broom cleaning out the place. The other member said, I prefer the old pastor, his old broom knows where all the dirt is.
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09/14/21 Grif.Net - At Our House Overheard at our house . . . Bob: Honey, I think the new dryer is shrinking my clothes. Teresa: No, Sweetie. It’s the fridge. Bob: I am afraid I might be having memory issues. Teresa: How long has this problem been going on? Bob: What problem? Teresa: Look at the neighbors down the street, how lovely they look. He keeps holding her hand, kissing her, even holding the door for her. Why can’t you do the same? Bob: Are you crazy? I barely know that woman. Bob: I haven’t been sleeping well lately. Teresa: Well there goes the last of your talents. Bob: Doctor…
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There was a couple that was married 60 years sitting on a bench in the park. The man feeding birds with popcorn, His wife tells him, I admire you, he kept feeding the birds. Then she tapped him on the shoulder and says louder, I admire you, he then looks at her and said, and I am tired of you too. ? Now you know the rest of the story…
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A man and his wife visit a church to hear the service, he said it was very boring to his wife. During the service the preacher announced that there will be a meeting of the board after service in the back of the church. So the man visiting went after the service went to the back of the church. The pastor said welcome may I help you? The man visiting said, is this the meeting of the boring service ?
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Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
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From the website GodsLittleAcre.net Kids Say the Funniest Things 2 01. HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. - Alan, age 10 No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with. - Kirsten, age 10 02. WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED? Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then. - Camille, age 10 No age is good to get married at. You got t…
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Hanlon's razor, "never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity."
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Jenning’s Corollary The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is in direct proportion to the cost of the carpet.
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Creation An atheist scientist came to God and said, "We've figured out how to make a man without you." God said, "OK, let me see you do it." So the atheist bent down to the ground and scooped up a handful. But God stopped him and said, "Oh, no you don't. Get your own dirt!"
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There are two things you don’t want to see being made: sausage and legislation. Anonymous
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A preacher is being chased in the woods by a large grizzly bear. Exhausted, he fell to his knees praying, "Good Lord! Deliver me from danger!" Looking back he saw the bear kneeling, paws together in prayer and exclaimed, "It's a Christian bear! Thank God I am saved!" Meanwhile the bear started praying, "For this food I am about to receive, Lord, I give you thanks."
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Doughboy Falls at Age 71 Please join in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. Rumor has it that some uninvited Ho-Ho's also appeared. The gravesite was piled high with flours. Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy ros…
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By BrotherTony · Posted
Yeppers... many of us have noticed how over the past 50+ years Tom Turkey has been pushed off the road by the fat man in the bright red suit, flying around with his eight tiny reindeer! LOL The over commercialization of Christmas has gotten way out of hand! My parents Western Wear Store would NEVER allow Thanksgiving to be bypassed. None of the decorations for Christmas at their store came out until BLACK FRIDAY. I'm thankful for that. 🤠 -
By BrotherTony · Posted
Have we fallen short in baptisms? And why are baptisms being used as a measure for how strong churches are? Many pastors have seen the futility and falseness of dunking people just for the numbers? They've come to the realization that people need to understand what baptism is, and in the true discipling of people first. In the days of Christ people understood the implications of being baptized into this new religion called Christianity. They could be kicked out of the synagogues, lose their livelihoods, and even their lives. That's exactly what Saul of Tarsus was doing before he had his encounter with Christ on the road to Damascus. -
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By TheGloryLand · Posted
For we all fall short to His Glory. We are not Angels, but a little higher. Those that are Saved or born again.
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