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Get Ready to ROFL! Join the Hilarity Brigade in Our Jokes & Humor Forum for Endless Laughter and Good Times! 
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Frist kid, my father is a plumber and he makes 20 dollars the hour Second kid, my father is a electrician and he makes 25 dollars a hour Third kid, my father is the pastor of the church, and it take 4 men to collect all his money every Sunday. Now you know the rest of the story...?
Last reply by TheGloryLand, -
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Some people wake up feeling like a million dollars! I wake up feeling like....INSUFFICIENT FUNDS! ?
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My buddy Jose went to see the baseball game last night. He told me after, he had climbed the flag pole during the game and everyone started to say, Jose can you see… Now you know the rest of the story ?
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Last reply by BrotherTony, -
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One member said, our new pastor is like the new broom cleaning out the place. The other member said, I prefer the old pastor, his old broom knows where all the dirt is.
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09/14/21 Grif.Net - At Our House Overheard at our house . . . Bob: Honey, I think the new dryer is shrinking my clothes. Teresa: No, Sweetie. It’s the fridge. Bob: I am afraid I might be having memory issues. Teresa: How long has this problem been going on? Bob: What problem? Teresa: Look at the neighbors down the street, how lovely they look. He keeps holding her hand, kissing her, even holding the door for her. Why can’t you do the same? Bob: Are you crazy? I barely know that woman. Bob: I haven’t been sleeping well lately. Teresa: Well there goes the last of your talents. Bob: Doctor…
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There was a couple that was married 60 years sitting on a bench in the park. The man feeding birds with popcorn, His wife tells him, I admire you, he kept feeding the birds. Then she tapped him on the shoulder and says louder, I admire you, he then looks at her and said, and I am tired of you too. ? Now you know the rest of the story…
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A man and his wife visit a church to hear the service, he said it was very boring to his wife. During the service the preacher announced that there will be a meeting of the board after service in the back of the church. So the man visiting went after the service went to the back of the church. The pastor said welcome may I help you? The man visiting said, is this the meeting of the boring service ?
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Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
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Last reply by Bouncing Bill, -
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From the website GodsLittleAcre.net Kids Say the Funniest Things 2 01. HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. - Alan, age 10 No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with. - Kirsten, age 10 02. WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED? Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then. - Camille, age 10 No age is good to get married at. You got t…
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Hanlon's razor, "never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity."
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Jenning’s Corollary The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is in direct proportion to the cost of the carpet.
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Creation An atheist scientist came to God and said, "We've figured out how to make a man without you." God said, "OK, let me see you do it." So the atheist bent down to the ground and scooped up a handful. But God stopped him and said, "Oh, no you don't. Get your own dirt!"
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There are two things you don’t want to see being made: sausage and legislation. Anonymous
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A preacher is being chased in the woods by a large grizzly bear. Exhausted, he fell to his knees praying, "Good Lord! Deliver me from danger!" Looking back he saw the bear kneeling, paws together in prayer and exclaimed, "It's a Christian bear! Thank God I am saved!" Meanwhile the bear started praying, "For this food I am about to receive, Lord, I give you thanks."
Last reply by Jim_Alaska, -
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Doughboy Falls at Age 71 Please join in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. Rumor has it that some uninvited Ho-Ho's also appeared. The gravesite was piled high with flours. Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy ros…
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Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference. (Unknown author)
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The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they should not interfere with God’s divine will. At the Baptist church, the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistry. The deacons met and decided to put a water-slide on the baptistry and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked the slide and, unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim, so twice as many squirrel…
Last reply by Jim_Alaska, -
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We are supposed to respect our elders. I have always tried to do just that. However, I noticed recently I have a problem. It is harder and harder to find someone more elderly that I. [Should I laugh or cry. This is so true for me.]
Last reply by Jim_Alaska, -
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The Bible teaches by man came death. At the end of creation week, there was no evil in the universe. God declared all He had made very good. All the angels rejoiced on day three - when the foundations of the earth were laid - Job 38:7 - which meant none had fallen yet. You can also see the same order of events of creation week (as shown in Job 38) presented the same way in Psalm 104. Satan walked in Eden before he fell - Ezekiel 28:13 - and Eden was not created until day 6. Nowhere does the Bible state Adam and Eve fully understood how death would affect things, only that it was promised as a judgement if they sinned. Satan fell sometime after creation week, then he later tempted Eve and Adam; and their sin resulted in death, the curse, etc. being brought on creation, including all biological life. Romans 5 is very clear on that.
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What did the grape do when someone sat on it? It gave out a little whine. What do you call people who really like tractors? Protractors. A rancher had 97 cows in his field. When he rounded them up, he had a hundred! Why did the man name his dogs Rolex and Timex? They were watch dogs. -
By heartstrings · Posted
replenish (v.) mid-14c., replenishen, "provide" with food or drink, also riches, beauty, etc., from Old French repleniss-, extended present-participle stem of replenir "to fill up," from re-, here perhaps an intensive prefix based on the notion of "fill repeatedly," thus "fill completely" (see re-), + -plenir, from Latin plenus "full" (from PIE root *pele- (1) "to fill"). Specifically as "to fill up again, restore to a former amount or condition" by 1610s. Related: Replenished; replenishing; replenishment. And here's the link to the prefix "re" https://www.etymonline.com/word/re- I'm not convinced either way. Evil did exist before man sinned, otherwise God would not have "known good and evil" and the serpent would not have been an evil entity to have tempted Eve. And "death" was a known concept, otherwise the serpent and Eve would not have discussed it. The Bible says that death passed upon Adam and Eve.. I don't recall reading where it says that animals had not yet died. I'm just curious as to what happened to all them "dinosaurs". Except for crocodilians, they were completely annihilated long ago and I don't believe any of them were on the ark. -
This man started his own cult. Unless you love being deceived, I recommend staying a million miles away from this dangerous heretic.
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Yes, I love listening to Bruce. He brought real truth to what it means to be an actual Christian. I really appreciated how he pointed out Platonic and Socrates world views in Christian religion. He's a real life-giver.
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