A Baptist gets marooned on a deserted island...

[Danny Carlton]

If someone's already posted this, I apologize for the repetition. The thread on starting a new church made me remember this...

A Baptist man was lost at seas and found himself on a deserted island. Four months later a rescue ship arrived and found him. As he boarded the rescue ship the captain looked a shore and saw three crude huts.

"Where are the other two people?" the captain asked.

"It's just me," the man replied.

"Then why three huts?"

"Oh, the one on the left is where I live. The one next to it is where I go to church. The one next to it is where I used to go to church."

[John81]

:lol:

That has a ring of truth to it! :eek

[Anon]

That's almost too real to be funny!!!!!

Our immediate area has three IFB churches (more around, but these are the main ones) and sometimes I think every IFB in town has been a member of at least two, if not all three, sometime in their life.

[Guest Guest]

That is hilarious, Danny!

Some people in my area have been to so many that I think they will have to move out of state to find another one. LOL.

[John81]

The Methodists in this small town went through that for several years. They kept having church splits. A new church would start and some of the Methodists would go there. Then they would return to the Methodist and the split church would fold. Then more splits would occur, new churches formed, then there would be a split within the split church and another split church formed. Members going back and forth between the Methodist and the two split churches.

It got really crazy there sometimes. One never knew which group of Methodists were friends on any given week. Now we are down to just one split church and the Methodist church...until the next time one of them has a split!

[Guest Guest]

One never knew which group of Methodists were friends on any given week. Now we are down to just one split church and the Methodist church...until the next time one of them has a split!

WOW! That would be really difficult to deal with. I wouldn't know who I could talk with.

The RCC goes through this, too. My mom stayed way out of those things---years back. "The Ladies Guild?" I imagine it is in every religion, though. Satan loves division.

[John81]

Most of the splits seem to have been over aspects of spiritual gifts and such. I know the split churches were far more charismatic in nature than the Methodist. One of the pastors for one of the split churches was trained at the charismatic school of Kenneth Hagin.

It seems many of the folks would waver back and forth over what is and isn't biblical, who should decide, who should lead and who should follow and many rather petty things as well.

Thankfully, the church I attend has never had a split and I pray they never will. :pray

[Guest Guest]

Interesting. Coming from the RCC I had never even heard the word, Charismatic until I went to the IFB. Most RCC people are afraid of that type of thing. Although, some thrive on shows like "The Ghost Whisperer."

Thankfully, neither of my IFB churches have had "splits" either. :pray

The Baptist (GARBC) church split was enough in town. That was real awful. :sad

[John81]

One of the creepy things I ran across on TV some years ago was a program put forth by Charismatic Catholics! :-S Wow! Was that something else or what?! :bonK:

[Guest Guest]

I think I know which one you mean. Was it the one where they were all "babbling" and you couldn't make out a thing, as to what they were saying? If so, that gave me the chills. The one I saw was on the "History Station."

[John81]

I think I know which one you mean. Was it the one where they were all "babbling" and you couldn't make out a thing' date=' as to what they were saying? If so, that gave me the chills. The one I saw was on the "History Station."[/quote']

I don't know what station it was, this was in the 90s when I was living near a big city. These Catholics were dressed like Catholics (priest and nun uniforms), and to an extent the acted like typical Catholics you see on Catholic programs until they got into that Charismatic stuff. Just seeing them and hearing that stuff was really creepy.

[Guest Guest]

You saw something much weirder that I did, John. :eek

[John81]

I made it a point never to even stumble across that program again! If I recall, I saw something about the program coming up and they mentioned Charismatic Catholics and I was curious as to what that was so I checked it out. It began with a priest and one or two nuns (all dressed in their Catholic garb) and they talked (mostly the priest) and it was mostly monotone, dull and boring as many Catholics I've listened to are, until they got up and went to another room section of that room (whatever it was) and then the Charismatic started flowing with weird music and babblings and thankfully I don't remember much else.