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FYI I am not a calvinist but I have dealt with calvinist's on other boards. Calvinism is not heresy. I would say that most have a great love for God but they error in their understanding of the means of salvation. Some are just a "bit" more zealous in their support of the TULIP / DoG. Where they error is they start with the calvinist philosophy and then search scripture in the hope of finding a verse to support their view even if they have to twist the text or change the meaning of words. It seems you encountered a more zealous one who trust what some man tells him the bible means rather than actually trusting what the bible actually says.

I had a Calvinst straight up tell me that unelected babies go to hell and that we should be thankful and give God glory for this. He was the most consistent adherent to what the heresy ultimately comes to, i.e. God fueling the fires of hell with babies. Most will stop short of this conclusion.

Calvinists teach that God’s elect have eternal life before they can come to Christ to receive eternal life. Calvinists teach that we must be born again with life from the Holy Spirit before we may respond to God in any way. “A cardinal point of Reformed theology is the maxim: ‘Regeneration precedes faith.’ [R.C. Sproul Chosen By God, pp.72-73]. “A man is not saved because he believes in Christ; he believes in Christ because he is saved”. [L. Boettner The Reformed Doctrine of Predestination, Page 75] If Calvinism is true then faith in Jesus is secondary to election and logically faith plays no part in your salvation, election is what matters not faith. The Calvinist asks: “How shall they believe if they have not been regenerated?” whereas Christianity asks: “How shall they believe if they have not heard?” Rom_10:14; Joh_5:39-40

The arguments given here against Calvinism are profound, and scripturally true. But I am a simple man and to me it all boils down to a very simple argument and verse. If Calvinism is true, then God deliberately creates THIS person for Heaven and then He deliberately creates THAT person for hell. 1 John 4:8 tells us that God is love. I'm sure that person that the Calvinistic god deliberately created for hell sure sees the Calvinistic god as love. I just cannot cross over that very simple hurdle. And no Calvinistic argument can change my mind. God is love. And He wants to share that love with whosever will. My loving God has NEVER created anyone for hell. If that is where you end up it was entirely your choice.

You're right - no one can will to be regenerated. But we certainly can respond positively to God's offer of salvation, then HE regenerates us (NOT BEFORE). To be blunt, how do YOU know you ARE saved if you never responded to the Lord Jesus Christ nor received His gift of salvation, nor personally trusted in His finished work? Sounds like you might still be unsaved. The Bible teaches we can KNOW. 1 John 5:13 These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that ye may know that ye have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God. Pity the poor person who has no assurance of personal faith or salvation in the Lord Jesus Christ because they never made a choice of their own. We don't find anywhere in the Bible that God forces people to be saved, nor regenerates them against their will.