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Called into the Ministry?


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One of my daughters married a very nice young man a couple of years ago and they now have their own daughter, who is 10 months old. They met in Bible college, did the courtship thing, got married, and settled down to life together. The husband majored in pastor studies, and my daugther earned her secondary education degree.

Back in the spring, they announced they were moving from Oklahoma City to a small town in the middle of Washington state. The husband's father is pastor of a church there. My understanding that my son-in-law would serve as music director/youth director, and this would be a full-time paying ministry jOB. They said they were sure this is what the Lord wanted them to do.

Last week, however, my daughter mentioned to my wife that they had to get medical insurance for their child through a state program, and they were drawing food stamps. Apparently, the ministry jOB isn't paying anything and can't. They are living in the basement of his parents' house.

My son-in-law has been doing odd jOBs to bring some cash in. He applied to a local grocery store where he worked while in high school, but didn't get the jOB because of his preferred schedule and salary. My daughter didn't tell my wife what those desires were. I don't know how actively he is looking for work.

What I'm thinking is that his excitement to move back home and serve in the ministry with his father clouded his judgement. They moved there without any prospects for financial support. They both had good-paying jOBs in Oklahoma City and were actively involved in their church there.

Here's my dilemma: I OBviously don't want to play the Holy Spirit, because I don't know how the Holy Spirit directed them. But I'm having a hard time justifying this as a Holy Spirit calling if they have to depend on the state to meet their needs.

I want to talk to him about this, but I'm in an awkward position. I don't want to butt in, but he's not providing for his family (my daughter and granddaughter), which I think should be his top priority. Yes, the ministry is important but not as the expense of his family.

I don't know whether to talk to his father about this, either as pastor to pastor or as father to father. I don't know what, if any, advice he's been giving my son-in-law. My daughter is trying to be the submissive wife, but my wife sensed concern in my daughter's voice. My daughter had built up a sizeable savings account, and she's seeing it being depleted without any money replacing it.

Do y'all have any advice or suggestions?

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Only you know whether talking with his father will be beneficial.....but we can all talk to our heavenly Father on your behalf and theirs and we know that will be beneficial. I'll be praying for you and your family.

God Bless,

Futurehope

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  • Independent Fundamental Baptist

Wow.....I feel bad for what a tight spot you are in. What is your relationship with your SIL? It seems like it would be best to go straight to him, rather than his father...because if his father wants to keep his son there, it will only make the prOBlem worse if the father knows you have a prOBlem with it.

:-(

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  • Advanced Member

We have a good relationship, as far as I'm concerned. And I don't have a prOBlem with him serving with his father, as long as the Lord is in it. My prOBlem is that he dragged his family there without any means of financial support. That hints to me that the Lord may not have been in it.

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  • Independent Fundamental Baptist

I totally understand....there were times my dad had a hard time with feeling like my sister's husband wasn't doing enough financially and they were hurting...but somehow God always pulled through. I guess the only thing you can do is talk it out with your SIL and just make sure its of God, and make some suggestions about finances. I know its a tight spot to be in....wanting the best for your daughter but trying not to interfere.

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  • Independent Fundamental Baptist

Sorry you have this facing you. I've noticed there seems to be many Christians nowadays that seems to take somewhat the same route as your son-in-law.

I know of a local man who surrendered to preach in a local independent Baptist Church who seems to dislike working but loves to spend money and will try and get all the handouts from the government he can for his family. He now has one son married expecting their 1st baby right soon and one who graduated last year and working, it seems not to bother him or his wife to get money from them to live on and pay bills.

Oh, he recently quite his jOB and of curse lost health insurance for him, wife, and daughter, the hours were from about 6:30 AM to 1:30 PM weekdays, he said it interfered with his local nursing home ministry.

Prayers that God will give you the wisdom to handle this in the proper manner.

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