Biblical Authority

[Guest Guest]

Ok I have a question that a young lady asked me. Her mother is divorced and remarried, and her father is still living. She asked if she has to obey the step-father, she doesn't think she does because he is in no way related to her and is not her father. My husband and I agree because her father is still alive and God says divorce and remarriage is wrong therefore it is a wrong structure and he is not in authority, just the young lady's mother and real father.

The problem is, she very respectfully asked her parents (real parents) if she could do something, and both of them told her to wait. A few months later they talked again and both parents said that she may do it now and had their total blessing. (It was her mother that brought the issue up again, too, not the daughter). It is not a wrong thing, rather it is a good and beautiful thing she wants to do. Both parents gave their blessing.

So now the step-father decides that he doesn't like it (which might simply have to do with the fact that her real father said yes) and has forbidden her from it at all. But she doesn't think he has any authority over her considering both her parents allowed her to do this thing.

I agree with the young lady here, her God given authorities are her father and her mother, the Bible never says anything about step-fathers, especially when she shouldn't have one in the first place. But she is getting conflicting counsel.

Katy-Anne

[Anon]

This is one of the sad things that happens, one of the results of sin that goes on to affect children.

If her mother has custody of her, she should go with what mom says. If mom backs up stepdad then she needs to go with that. If mom says she can obey real dad, then she can go with that. That's the best answer I can give.

[Psalms18_28]

Is the step-father providing for her? if so, she shouldn't bite the hand that feeds her. I don't know if there any bible for it though. I do know that God provided for us. So yes, she should respect authority as long as it doesn't go against the bible.

Because if things go wrong, the step-father knows he will have to help pay for the damage.

[lettheredeemedsayso]

How old is this person?

there is a website you may like to refer her to.

http://www.successfulstepfamilies.com/e ... product/15

[Guest Guest]

She's in her late teens and her real parents both approve, what she is doing isn't dangerous, pays for most things herself because she has a good job. To me it seems as if the step-father should have said something before if he didn't like it and also it seems like he's just trying to go on a power trip. She is being very obedient and respectful to the wishes of her mother and father and following them to the letter.

Katy-Anne

[Anon]

Well if her mother said yes and her stepfather initially said yes, and the mother still says yes, then I suppose the answer is yes....

But she is going to have to pray it out on her own as she knows her situation better than anyone. If it becomes a regular problem she'll have to talk to her pastor.

[Jerry]

Is she still living at home? If so, she is responsible to obey both parents in that home - step-parents or real parents.

Joseph was Jesus' stepdad, but Jesus still obeyed him:

Luke 2:51 And he went down with them, and came to Nazareth, and was subject unto them: but his mother kept all these sayings in her heart.

[pneu-engine]

I agree, Jerry. :thumb

Whoever lives in a house must live by the rules from the head of the house.

Not only that, but she could be a shining testimony if she will voluntarily submit to his wishes in a spirit of lovingkindness. Who knows, but maybe her act of kindness by doing this might even melt her step-dad's heart, and be instrumental in his coming to the LORD.

I would advise her to err on the side of caution and humility. :lol

[Guest Guest]

Her step-father is on a power trip. He had months to say no to her and he was ok with it, that is until her mother and real father said yes. After that he decided he didn't like it anymore. Why should her real father pay any child support if the step-father refuses to let her obey his wishes?

Katy-Anne

[Anon]

I do not think that there is a cut and dry answer for this, especially not enough of one to argue over (not saying anyone is arguing but I can see it coming). The girl will have to do what she thinks will please the Lord and keep peace (as much as possible) in her family. The Bible does say "As much as lieth within you, live peaceably with all men."

Just encourage her to be in the Word and prayer and do what honors her parents best.

[Guest Guest]

I know I agree it is hard. I'm so glad I'm not in her situation. It just hurts me to see what she's going through, because she has been so respectful of her parent wishes, and waited on what she wanted to do at the time because her parents said no. Then when they brought it up again and told her they were more than ok with it, she went ahead and did it with their blessing and is now suffering for it.

Katy-Anne

[Psalms18_28]

What is it that she wanted to do? Maybe I can see his reasons behind it. I don't know the step-father, but I do know that we can't always jump the gun and say he is on power trip. Who knows, maybe he didn't really say anything because he thought one of the parents would say no.

[Anon]

I'm assuming that whatever she was allowed to do was something some of us here would disagree with LOL which is why I assume its being kept anonymous...which is fine since its not our business anyhow.

[Guest Guest]

Actually Suzy that would be incorrect. :lol You would very much approve of the way it was undertaken, even the most conservative of you. I just didn't say because although she asked for advice, I don't want to tell the whole world the actual problem. I just don't feel right about it.

Angie, the step-father does this ALL the time. He waits until the father has said it is ok, and the mother, and then he decides she can't do whatever it is. To me that's a power trip. He never says anything until her father says she can or cannot do whatever. The young lady is very respectful of her parents.

Katy-Anne

[Anon]

I figured as soon as I posted that I would be way wrong. haha.

Anyway...yeah she's just going to have to work through this the best she can. Its a pity.