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Police called on us....


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I have been gone a few days... Its good to be back.!!

Anyway the police came to our house tonight. Apparently a report was filed that a child was being abused at our house. It just so happens that when the police arrived she was in the middle of letting everyone know she was being abused with constant screaming. The abuse of course..is letting her cry it out in her bed. We have been having her cry it out, not going to get her, and hoping that she would learn to sleep on her own. We are up to about 2 weeks straight of sticking to it and this happens. In Hawaii you live in close quarters unless you are lucky enough or rich enough to get a house. Anyway the neighbors all stuck their heads out and of course it was a tad embarrassing for the wife and myself. I tell you...I am at my wits end trying to figure this out. If i go in there and spank her it just lasts longer and she screams harder. If i just wait it out she screams forever, no matter how tired i try to get her before hand. Ive cut her nap times, put her too bed later, tried putting her to bed on a full stomach etc... I know its just rebellion to. If you pick her up she is an angel again. Let her go play, not a peep out of her... Put her in bed and stand by for madness and persistence like i have never seen. She is going to be 2 in a few weeks. I feel like if i give in and pick her up or let her sleep with us ill be stuck with her in our bed for 10 years. She isnt too cold, too hot, hungry, or thirsty. Ive put each of those subjects to rest.......

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Ohhhhh no that is terrible. :sad What did the police say? Were they satisfied with your explanation of the screaming? I can't stand nosey neighbors.... and I know living in an apartment is horrible these days for trying to raise young children.

I know my sister, before they recently moved, lived in an apartment and her son did not like going to bed and a neighbor below her commented on the noise, although they never called anyone on them.

I do not know what to tell you...except I feel for you!

The only other thing I can think of is trying to get her to stay in bed with you sitting by the bed...? And each time she tries to get up gently put her back down? I do not know if the screaming would continue then....

Man that's no fun.

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I have been gone a few days... Its good to be back.!!

Anyway the police came to our house tonight. Apparently a report was filed that a child was being abused at our house. It just so happens that when the police arrived she was in the middle of letting everyone know she was being abused with constant screaming. The abuse of course..is letting her cry it out in her bed. We have been having her cry it out, not going to get her, and hoping that she would learn to sleep on her own. We are up to about 2 weeks straight of sticking to it and this happens. In Hawaii you live in close quarters unless you are lucky enough or rich enough to get a house. Anyway the neighbors all stuck their heads out and of course it was a tad embarrassing for the wife and myself. I tell you...I am at my wits end trying to figure this out. If i go in there and spank her it just lasts longer and she screams harder. If i just wait it out she screams forever, no matter how tired i try to get her before hand. Ive cut her nap times, put her too bed later, tried putting her to bed on a full stomach etc... I know its just rebellion to. If you pick her up she is an angel again. Let her go play, not a peep out of her... Put her in bed and stand by for madness and persistence like i have never seen. She is going to be 2 in a few weeks. I feel like if i give in and pick her up or let her sleep with us ill be stuck with her in our bed for 10 years. She isnt too cold, too hot, hungry, or thirsty. Ive put each of those subjects to rest.......

I feel for you...really I do. I'm sorry about the police! :eek Could I ask you a few questions without offending you? Are you spanking her only for crying? What do you do before her bedtime to prepare her (besides feeding her)? Do you rock her? Tickle her? Snuggle with her? Sing to her? Read her a bedtime story? Gently warn her that bedtime is coming and remind her that she's Daddy's big girl now? Put on music or a story tape for her to listen to? Praise her for getting into her "big bed?" Tell her that if she doesn't cry, you'll come in and give her a big hug and kiss right away? Pray with her before bed? In other words, do you do anything but spank to encourage proper behavior? How long do you think she would cry if you didn't spank her at all, but (after doing some of the "bedtime fun things") just left her in her bed? Sorry for all of the questions, but as a mom who has been where you are right now (and who learned the hard way what just doesn't work), I'm just trying to get a feel for what you're doing.
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I empathise..my oldest was a nightmare too....Because I just couldn't stand the screaming, he often ended up in my bed... :sad

He continued to have a strong will thru his life...but God eventually got hold of him... :pray :smile


Were the police understanding???

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I have been gone a few days... Its good to be back.!!

Anyway the police came to our house tonight. Apparently a report was filed that a child was being abused at our house. It just so happens that when the police arrived she was in the middle of letting everyone know she was being abused with constant screaming. The abuse of course..is letting her cry it out in her bed. We have been having her cry it out, not going to get her, and hoping that she would learn to sleep on her own. We are up to about 2 weeks straight of sticking to it and this happens. In Hawaii you live in close quarters unless you are lucky enough or rich enough to get a house. Anyway the neighbors all stuck their heads out and of course it was a tad embarrassing for the wife and myself. I tell you...I am at my wits end trying to figure this out. If i go in there and spank her it just lasts longer and she screams harder. If i just wait it out she screams forever, no matter how tired i try to get her before hand. Ive cut her nap times, put her too bed later, tried putting her to bed on a full stomach etc... I know its just rebellion to. If you pick her up she is an angel again. Let her go play, not a peep out of her... Put her in bed and stand by for madness and persistence like i have never seen. She is going to be 2 in a few weeks. I feel like if i give in and pick her up or let her sleep with us ill be stuck with her in our bed for 10 years. She isnt too cold, too hot, hungry, or thirsty. Ive put each of those subjects to rest.......


alot of doctors recommend crying it out so don't worry. The police were just checking to see if everything is ok. Is she still night feeding? if so, stop. Is she still breastfeeding? if so your wife will have to wean her rather she is breastfeeding at night or not, because it is the scent of her mother she wants to be with.
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That is horrible, but I do think that you need to be aware of the neighbors also. She may need to feel more secure before she is ready to sleep in a different room than you. Do what we did. We lived in a condo and could not have our oldest crying for fear of that happening to us, so we moved her crib into our room and that worked wonders. We put her to bed with a bottle/cup of water or sometimes milk and left. Sometimes we stayed in the room, but ignored her and she was much better with going to sleep on her own.

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Wow I guess I'm lucky we've always lived in single family homes (at least while we had kids). They've always been parsonages that we haven't owned, but at least they were single family!

We usually do try "cry it out" before the child is one year old though, because the older they get, the more stubborn they get. :eek

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Hey everyone!

The police understood. They came to our kitchen window, which you get to before the front door. My wife was washing dishes and she heard their radios/keys/heavy steps before they even got there. They told us that they had a report of a child being abused etc... My wife told him no, we simply had a 2 year old who did not want to go to sleep, that she was throwing a fit. She also offered to let them come in and see her if they needed that to satisfy them. They said that it was ok, they did not need to come in and see her. They left after another 2 min of small talk.

When i put her down to bed i spend some time rocking her, praying so she can hear me, and then kind of humming a song for her. This works as she calms down, buries her head in your shoulder and just hugs you. She may appear to be asleep, but when you go to lay her down she will wake up.
If we lived out in the country, or at least with some space this would not be so bad. Truth be told, if the neighbors weren't busy calling the police, i would not care one way or another if she screamed it out. We know we would win the battle then... Someone on here mentioned before to choose your battles wisely and win every one you choose. We are well into this one i just feel like losing it would set a tone for the future. Today im going to try giving her no nap at all and keeping her up another 30 min later. Sigh.... :pray :pray :pray :pray :pray :pray

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It is not losing a battle if you realize what you are doing is not working and try a new direction for the desired end. case in point, moving our daughters crib to our room. She still knew that bedtime was bedtime, difference was that she was more secure and our neighbors were not bothered. We have noisy neighbors now and it is quite annoying. Can't be a good testimony if you are annoying someone. I also agree that a tired cranky child is harder to get to sleep for the night than a well rested one. I have 4 girls all different temperments and this is true of all of them. Hope this helps.

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I agree, Your real battle is reaching your goal, and that is for her not to sleep with her mommy and daddy anymore. If one way is not working after many attempts, try a different way. think of a coach who try different strategies to score a goal.

you can tell it is not working if she have not been crying less and less everyday after the first week.

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Definately an overtired child will not sleep well... What has worked best for us is same naptime, same bedtime EVERY night unless providentially hindered.

I guess just remember with your next child, that if you start earlier that it is easier...they don't know enough to be stubborn when they are crawling age or so.... as soon as they are over the nighttime feeding is best.

Trish may have a good point there about moving the crib but still doing the same leaving her alone routine. Only I personally would prefer a pacifer to a drink, as a drink is a bad habit (but I know alot of moms disagree!)... but if it is a drink make sure its only water to prevent tooth decay. Otherwise you might just have to try a new tactic if your daughter is that stubborn with what you are doing now.

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:lol: :lol::lol: Only I personally would prefer a pacifier to a drink, :lol::lol::lol:


True if you could have gotten my girls to take a pacifier past the first week, I would have considered you a miracle worker. I agree water is better than milk, but our first wouldn't drink much of that so we gave her what worked and to this day she has no cavities. Some kids have strong teeth I guess.

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