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There is something wrong with my daughter (9 years old)


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Actually my thought was more akin to Jonah. He resisted God's call to Him. The Bible states "ask and He shall enter". I don't hold the calvanitic view of being called to salvation but I do believe God has (and does) influence people to serve His purpose.

Wayne

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"I really resented being disciplined by my mother for no real good reason I can think of."


My 7 yo son seems like this...



Hhhmm... Maybe if it is practical you could switch the roll of discipline more to his father? After all in scripture discipline is described more as a fathers role anyway. I know personally that when my mother got to frustrated with me she would tell me that she was going to just leave me alone write down what I was doing and let dad deal with it when he got home. :eek That got better results than her spanking me because I had no real fear of her spanking me from around 6 or so, even though she certainly tried. Honestly, I think a lot of boys tend to resent any female discipline even at a young age. We tend to view ourselves as men even though we may not be full grown, and thus dislike being "bossed around" ,as I viewed it at the time, by a woman, even if she was my mother. :wink I know the only times when I resented being spanked by my dad was when I felt mom had made him really mad(usually justly) and "set" him on me without giving me a chance to say anything.
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:goodpost: I agree, I think males are ingrained with the thought we should "be the leader". I think what frustrates women is that we think that way a long time before we realize that with that "right" comes the resposibilty to try to be good at it! :Green

Wayne

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My husband does do the majority of it actually, and since he works at the church and we live on the property, if the boys get too rebellious or do not respond to my discipline, I sometimes phone over to the church and have my husband come home and deal with them. Sometimes I feel I'm copping out and that my boys will have no respect for me but it does work, and since they ARE boys I guess they need their dad to deal with them. My husband also tells them that if I have to call him over because they won't take it from me, they get it double from him.

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Kitagirl - :Green I think your system works - in fact I would venture to say that's what most of us older guys grew up with. The worst thing my mom could do was say "wait til your Father comes home!".



I hope it works. I'll breathe a big sigh of relief when they are grown and they decide to choose to continue to follow the Lord in their adult life!
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I am only 20 so take this with a grain of salt. :frog However' date=' there was a period in my life about 7-13 when I acted just the same way as you are describing, and my parents said the exact same thing as you are saying, "you must not be saved or you wouldn't act that way". I definitely was saved, but I was heavily suffering from carnality. I used to lie through my teeth about homework, sneak food constantly, and often was as rotten as I could get away with to my siblings. :ooops I was good enough at it that I was caught no more than 5% of the time. When I was, I was spanked big time but honestly it only made me mad(not that I am saying that one shouldn't spank), especially if my mother spanked me. I really resented being disciplined by my mother for no real good reason I can think of. Dads was always worse but I didn't mind as much. Of course when I was caught I claimed that they always caught me as well. :ooops They bought it big time to, to the point that my mother once told me that she "always" caught me because God showed her when ever I was doing something I shouldn't. :ooops I did suffer from occasional twinges of guilt since I knew I was wrong but I mostly shrugged it off(read quenched the Spirit). Finally after several years I began feeling truly miserable about it, I was still getting away with far more than they knew but I was feeling worse and worse about it to the point I was wondering if maybe they were right and I wasn't saved. Thats when I started getting more serious with God. :Green After considerable prayer and agony of spirit the Lord showed me that I was indeed saved but I had regularly quenched the Spirit to the point that my conscience was rather well seared. He had to really prick me good to get my attention. :ooops However he did and by his grace I started to act a little better at home. Through it all though I had been as good as gold at church an no one there had a clue what a rotten little boy I was at home :roll . Matter of fact I was what amounted to "Sunday school teachers pet" since I knew most of the answers and always seemed so well behaved(looks can be deceiving). All this to say that while it is certainly possible that she is not saved it is by no means certain. If she is God will bring her around sooner or later. :Green[/quote']

So, Seth, were you saved at this time or not? Your story seems to ring pretty close to the truth in my situation.
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Disciplining one's children is certainly not only a biblically authorised thing to do but an essential thing to do if they are going to grow up with a proper respect for authority. How one is to go about that, however, is a question that only the parent(s) can answer, for all parents and all children are different, and times and circumstances are variable. It is the parent(s)' responsibility to do the best job they can on this, and the way scripture approaches the issue it seems to me that proper discipline is to be applied regardless of what the child's spiritual status may be. That is to say, no one can "make" anyone else believe. But a parent does have the authority and the means to compel their children to behave in a decent and orderly way, and to alter their behavior when it transgresses this boundary as they see it. No doubt none of us will be perfect in the way we deal with our children, but we are all responsible to the Lord to lovingly, carefully, prudently, and persistently guide our children into the best paths possible when it comes to behavior. Whether or not they become believers early in life, or later in life, or even at all is something over which we have no real control. We can set the example; we can tell them the truth; we can encourage them; but we cannot alter their free will. Generally speaking, children of truly good and faithful Christian parents eventually turn out the same way - but by all means that does not mean that they won't be rebellious in their adolescent years, for example, and it may take some years thereafter, some serious interaction with "real life" before they begin to straighten out, and even some time after that before they face the reality of God and of salvation in Jesus Christ. Therefore we should never lose hope, and should never let up in praying for them, in setting a good example for them, and also in holding them to acceptable standards while they are living under our roofs.

If we do all this, I am confident that a beneficent, loving, and merciful God will certainly take our prayers to heart for the salvation, production, and respectable behavior of all of our children.

Proverbs 22:6 - Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Love,
Madeline

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So, Seth, were you saved at this time or not? Your story seems to ring pretty close to the truth in my situation.


Yes, I was, just pigheaded and stiff-necked through habitually quenching the Spirit.
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