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Children In The Church Service


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What approach would you use with the kids? Knowing, of course, that I have a 5yr, 8yr, and 11yr old all still participating. I think the hardest, though it should not be.........will be the oldest.


Usually parents begin things with the oldest kids, but the reverse might be best in this situation - since your oldest doesn't have that much longer before joining you anyway. Maybe you can just let them know that you want them with you in the service, to hear your preacher. Leave the 11 year old in Jr. church for the first couple of weeks, but include him (her? don't know if it's a boy or girl) in the family discussion about what the message was. Then, after a couple of weeks, let your 11 year old that you want him/her to join your family in the service. [before you bring them with you to the service, maybe spend some time talking with them about how wonderful the "big church" service is.]

Talk to your hubby and see what he suggests. He may have some thoughts rolling around, too.

Something else you could do, before you pull them out of jr. church - maybe you or your hubby could sit in on a couple of the services so you can see exactly what they are being taught, to see if there are grounds for you to fear they aren't being spiritually fed (not saying I question you - just suggesting what you could do to eliminate all possibilities).
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Usually parents begin things with the oldest kids, but the reverse might be best in this situation - since your oldest doesn't have that much longer before joining you anyway. Maybe you can just let them know that you want them with you in the service, to hear your preacher. Leave the 11 year old in Jr. church for the first couple of weeks, but include him (her? don't know if it's a boy or girl) in the family discussion about what the message was. Then, after a couple of weeks, let your 11 year old that you want him/her to join your family in the service. [before you bring them with you to the service, maybe spend some time talking with them about how wonderful the "big church" service is.]

Talk to your hubby and see what he suggests. He may have some thoughts rolling around, too.

Something else you could do, before you pull them out of jr. church - maybe you or your hubby could sit in on a couple of the services so you can see exactly what they are being taught, to see if there are grounds for you to fear they aren't being spiritually fed (not saying I question you - just suggesting what you could do to eliminate all possibilities).


My hubby was volunteering as a helper occasionally over there first, and told me that he had concerns about the class. I witnessed it first hand not too long ago. It is hard to describe, but both my husband and I are not impressed. I'd say the cause for the majority of the concern is not the lesson (though it is nothing special or greatly detailed) as much as it is the attitude with which the group is conducted--I should say allowed to conduct themselves. It is rowdy much of the time (I had to cover my ears it was so loud when they were singing, screaming?? a couple of songs--I found it soooo obnoxious! And I have seven kids!) and so, with the addition of games, treats and the like..... instead of it being a good transition into the adult service, it stands in stark contrast and probably makes the other one look dull. Does that make sense more? It reminds me more of an AWANA program. LOL, oh, and the children's church group is NOT in the main building with the sanctuary--if it were, the "loudness" would be corrected promptly!
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"The principles that were just applied to Sunday school should also be applied to Junior church. Junior Church ought to be what it sounds like, church for juniors. Too often junior church is more like babysitting or a glorified nursery. Just as there are many ways to accomplish Sunday school, the same is true regarding Junior Church. The age group for this program is determined by the church. Some churches have bus ministries and use this time strictly for bus kids. Some churches only have four year olds through fourth grade while others go through sixth grade. The age your church uses is not important as long as your philosophy of ministry is correct. The churches I have pastored and worked with have had Junior Church for ages four through fourth grade.
Since Junior Church is simply church for juniors, it would be good to utilize this time to prepare these young people for the day they will transition to the main church service. One way to do this is to have the children participate in the song service and then dismiss them afterwards to Junior Church. This will teach the children to sit through the first half of the service. It will also give the family time to worship the Lord together on Sunday morning. In many churches, families are separated when they arrive at church and do not see each other again until it is time to go home. Joshua said ?as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.? I have always believed that a family ought to not only go to church together, but it is important for our children to see and hear their parents worshipping the Lord in song."

excerpt from my the book I am writing.

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When my kids turn 3 I start having them sit with me in the service. Although sometimes since our church is small, if the nursery is not very full, I would still put them back there during Lords Supper nights until they turn maybe 4 (or if the nursery is busy). At our church we have Sunday School and kids church though, and then a Wednesday night program during the school year (nursery for the 3 year olds) so really the only service he has to sit out is Sunday PM....and then during the summer he will sit out on Wed PM as well.

I do not allow toys, candy, or drawing because sometimes I have found it makes more noise and distraction...plus my kids have always had relatively short attention spans and I find they are MUCH better just knowing they have to sit there and listen rather than draw or color...then get bored and ask for something else to do. Although at times they have had to sit with someone else who lets them draw, and they do okay... I just think its easier not to, for my particular kids.

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I don't know if this will help. Our children have had to learn to sit still in all our services from a very young age because were in a small church and my hubby was the Pastor. :lol: At our new church we have a family that have 4 little girls ranging from 19 months to 6 and half years. They all sit quietly in church because their mum and dad have spent the time at home teaching them to sit quietly for periods of time. One of the ways they do this is they start "High chair time" around 9 to ten months old where they have to sit quietly and look at a book. At first it is only a couple of minutes and then gradually progresses up to half an hour. The children have learnt at an early age the self control of sitting still. It was done at home and not at church. So much easier on them and their children. They are beautiful girls. I have always tried to do something similar. We "Played church". I would sit my kids down with a book and pretend we were in church. It helped with my very active boy.

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My first four children grew up in a conventional church environment, i.e., Sunday School, Children's Church, etc., and usually only came in Sunday nights and Wednesday nights. Some churches had programs during those services also.

As of 2000 we began practicing the family church concept. Our children (the first four and the next four,) grew up IN the services. We no longer have seperate Sunday School, but instead have family integrated services. The entire family stays together in all services. There is typically an openning service which is like an adult Sunday School message (thirty minutes,) then a childrens message (thrity minutes,) a few more songs , offering, and then the main message.

The reason we went to this program was because of the growing concern with children growing up with the more "fun" oriented services in childrens programs only to be brought into the adult services, which are not "as fun." As we all know the tendancy for "teens" to drift away from the Lord is prevelant even in fundamental circles. I think often the jump from "youth" services to the real thing takes the wind out of their sails and they no longer want to "do" church because it is not fun. I know this is not the case across the board, but we fealt that children in bygone days had a more sober attitude about the things of God and had plenty of time during the week for fun and social interaction with other children. So far it has worked great. The added benefit is when we go places and bring our large family into the main service and they all (all the way down to the six year old,) sit their quietly and orderly, the church is usually shocked that children can be so well behaved.

Just an idea,
Ben

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I find it interesting you include a children's message in the main service...whats the difference having it there, or having it in another room?

Not saying its wrong...just wondering.

My kids behave fine in church as well....especially when we have a guest speaker (they get a little used to their dad, its always more interesting to have an evangelist or somebody! They love new preachers!). The only one that is not trained to sit in church yet is the 18 mos old.

I can trust my kids to sit with other church folks and behave too if I'm in the nursery and my husband is preaching.

For us, children's programs are ideal for having in combination with outreach ministries such as bus and doorknocking. I have found in the past (not saying it about your church) that churches with the "family church" concept also do not run buses and do not have large outreach programs, as the "family church" concept generally works best in a church that is "complete" with few visitors or outside children.

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"The principles that were just applied to Sunday school should also be applied to Junior church. Junior Church ought to be what it sounds like, church for juniors. Too often junior church is more like babysitting or a glorified nursery. Just as there are many ways to accomplish Sunday school, the same is true regarding Junior Church. The age group for this program is determined by the church. Some churches have bus ministries and use this time strictly for bus kids. Some churches only have four year olds through fourth grade while others go through sixth grade. The age your church uses is not important as long as your philosophy of ministry is correct. The churches I have pastored and worked with have had Junior Church for ages four through fourth grade.
Since Junior Church is simply church for juniors, it would be good to utilize this time to prepare these young people for the day they will transition to the main church service. One way to do this is to have the children participate in the song service and then dismiss them afterwards to Junior Church. This will teach the children to sit through the first half of the service. It will also give the family time to worship the Lord together on Sunday morning. In many churches, families are separated when they arrive at church and do not see each other again until it is time to go home. Joshua said ?as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.? I have always believed that a family ought to not only go to church together, but it is important for our children to see and hear their parents worshipping the Lord in song."

excerpt from my the book I am writing.


I would like to read your book when you are done! :thumb
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The reason we went to this program was because of the growing concern with children growing up with the more "fun" oriented services in childrens programs only to be brought into the adult services, which are not "as fun." As we all know the tendancy for "teens" to drift away from the Lord is prevelant even in fundamental circles. I think often the jump from "youth" services to the real thing takes the wind out of their sails and they no longer want to "do" church because it is not fun. I know this is not the case across the board, but we fealt that children in bygone days had a more sober attitude about the things of God and had plenty of time during the week for fun and social interaction with other children.


Since Junior Church is simply church for juniors' date=' it would be good to utilize this time to prepare these young people for the day they will transition to the main church service.[/quote']

These two quotes sum up the concern that my husband and I have very well!! So well put, gentlemen! We know of people, what seemed like good Christian people too, whose kids went astray in a bad way and don't attend church. We don't want to lose our kids to the devil/world.

My kids, like many other people have described, sit quietly during service with no toys etc. You can make them sit, but just because they are sitting quietly, does not mean they are listening to the sermon. I really want to avoid the notion that the child just comes in, plops on the pew and zones out as soon as the music stops......not good. Or that if you inquire what the sermon was about, you get a one sentence answer from the preteen from the first 5 minutes when the topic was annouced. So, any ideas on that? How have you all helped your children go from sitting quietly to being not only able, but willing to listen to the sermon? Were you able to accomplish this without making the child grumbly? We all must do things for our own good, it sure does not seem to me that my children are just naturally bent towards sitting through the sermon, hanging on his every word and applying it to their heart as a good Christian should. My parents were not Christians, so maybe I'm missing something here?? Or are we resigned to just make sure they are "there", and pray for them that they will eventually "get it"? I sure could use some specific ideas from those of you who've been there because I want to make sure that we are doing everything that we can for our kids spiritually. I wasn't raised in a Christian home, and though my hubby's mom is saved, his father is not and he never had the good Christian example from him that he should have. In many ways we are learning as we go--a very scary thing!
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My hubby was volunteering as a helper occasionally over there first, and told me that he had concerns about the class. I witnessed it first hand not too long ago. It is hard to describe, but both my husband and I are not impressed. I'd say the cause for the majority of the concern is not the lesson (though it is nothing special or greatly detailed) as much as it is the attitude with which the group is conducted--I should say allowed to conduct themselves. It is rowdy much of the time (I had to cover my ears it was so loud when they were singing, screaming?? a couple of songs--I found it soooo obnoxious! And I have seven kids!) and so, with the addition of games, treats and the like..... instead of it being a good transition into the adult service, it stands in stark contrast and probably makes the other one look dull. Does that make sense more? It reminds me more of an AWANA program. LOL, oh, and the children's church group is NOT in the main building with the sanctuary--if it were, the "loudness" would be corrected promptly!


You have described a majority of junior churches. Of course, there are times in our Sunday School class that I have to tell the children singing loudly or reciting verses loudly does not mean screaming! :lol:

I have to agree - having an "exciting" jr church could very well make the "big church" service seem dull. I really think the answer for you and your family is going to have to be just have them join you in the services. If you think your 11 yr. old will give you problems (after all, leaving something that everyone else is doing, especially when it isn't sin, is hard at any age!), then perhaps ease into transitioning that one. Talk about what the pastor is teaching in the service; discuss the songs the congregation sings - who wrote them, maybe the story behind them, how they apply to us today, etc.; read passages the pastor spoke from and discuss them, apply them to the children's lives. Things like that can make the service exciting - making it a family discussion event can bring the family closer together as well. Comments will come, but God will give you grace as you need it...

We all need a pastor. But all kids don't need jr. church. As Kita said, it's a great tool for outreach. We have many, many kids that come in on our buses who attend (up through 6th grade). The kids learn alot. Yes, the serice is a little more "exciting" than the main one, but consider the homes these kids come from. The goal is to lead them to Christ and to help them learn that being a Christian is a joy. However, kids whose parents attend church bring their kids in at 5 on Sunday morning. Some people may think that's a double standard, but not really. So many kids today don't know how to behanve (as was so well pointed out by LeeAnne - sitting still training begins at home!) because they aren't taught. They learn in our jr. church, even if it's a little more noisy than the main service. But, again, the children whose parents are members of our church come with them.

I sincerely think that is what jr. church is best for - children whose parents don't attend church, haven't taught them about the Lord, aren't interested in being responsible for their children's spiritual training. Hope my comments make sense. My mind feels a little fuzzy, and I feel like I rambled on and on....

Pastorj - I'd love to read your book when you're done, too.

bzm - you were posting as I did...as I mentioned earlier - family discussions and application to personal lives is much more effective than simply questioning them as to what they got out of the service. Maybe make family Sunday lunch a time of real enjoyable discussion of what the pastor spoke on. Oh, yeah, just thought - one thing our pastor recommends from time to time is for us to re-read the passages some time during the week for our personal devotions. Perhaps your hubby could incorporate some of that into your family devotions?
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You have described a majority of junior churches. Of course, there are times in our Sunday School class that I have to tell the children singing loudly or reciting verses loudly does not mean screaming! :lol:

I have to agree - having an "exciting" jr church could very well make the "big church" service seem dull. I really think the answer for you and your family is going to have to be just have them join you in the services. If you think your 11 yr. old will give you problems (after all, leaving something that everyone else is doing, especially when it isn't sin, is hard at any age!), then perhaps ease into transitioning that one. Talk about what the pastor is teaching in the service; discuss the songs the congregation sings - who wrote them, maybe the story behind them, how they apply to us today, etc.; read passages the pastor spoke from and discuss them, apply them to the children's lives. Things like that can make the service exciting - making it a family discussion event can bring the family closer together as well. Comments will come, but God will give you grace as you need it...

We all need a pastor. But all kids don't need jr. church. As Kita said, it's a great tool for outreach. We have many, many kids that come in on our buses who attend (up through 6th grade). The kids learn alot. Yes, the serice is a little more "exciting" than the main one, but consider the homes these kids come from. The goal is to lead them to Christ and to help them learn that being a Christian is a joy. However, kids whose parents attend church bring their kids in at 5 on Sunday morning. Some people may think that's a double standard, but not really. So many kids today don't know how to behanve (as was so well pointed out by LeeAnne - sitting still training begins at home!) because they aren't taught. They learn in our jr. church, even if it's a little more noisy than the main service. But, again, the children whose parents are members of our church come with them.

I sincerely think that is what jr. church is best for - children whose parents don't attend church, haven't taught them about the Lord, aren't interested in being responsible for their children's spiritual training. Hope my comments make sense. My mind feels a little fuzzy, and I feel like I rambled on and on....

Pastorj - I'd love to read your book when you're done, too.

bzm - you were posting as I did...as I mentioned earlier - family discussions and application to personal lives is much more effective than simply questioning them as to what they got out of the service. Maybe make family Sunday lunch a time of real enjoyable discussion of what the pastor spoke on. Oh, yeah, just thought - one thing our pastor recommends from time to time is for us to re-read the passages some time during the week for our personal devotions. Perhaps your hubby could incorporate some of that into your family devotions?


Thanks, HC........I will talk to the hubby about it. :thumb And no, you didn't ramble. :lol:
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Depends on the parenting skills. If your child is able to sit through a service, silent, and still (all dependent on training), then your child is ready.

This is one of my biggest pet peeves. We have babies in our services at the church I currently attend. I AM AGIANST THIS!!!! Apparently my pastor hasn't spoken against it, so I deal with it. I know it distracts the congregation, but I can tell it is distracting to him also.

If a child couldn't be quiet, my previous pastor would call the parent down and tell that parent to remove the distraction. The devil uses many tools to distract/prevent people from getting saved, including unruly children.

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You think this is bad. I attended the church of a friend of mine once and they would have the inner city kids that were bused in sit through the service. It was so out of control that they had a big guy act as a bouncer and the evangelist who was preaching had to yell at the top of his lungs to get over the noise. To this day I can't understand why they allow that.

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If a child couldn't be quiet' date=' my previous pastor would call the parent down and tell that parent to remove the distraction. The devil uses many tools to distract/prevent people from getting saved, including unruly children.


Well, in my experience, many parents are unsure about putting their kids into a nursery. I wasn't this way until I put my first son into a church nursery and one of the workers had their pneumonia-ridden child in there with her. My son and my wife were both camped for two weeks at the hospital. Many meds and a spinal tap later, they came home. My second child went with us wherever we went after that. We did our best to keep her quiet (bottles, pacifier, etc..), but that sure beat her getting sick.

As far as the "devil" using the child as a disruptive tool, I'm not so sure. Satan is neither omnipresent or omnipotent. This means that he had to stop what he was doing, go directly to your church, and cause that baby to act up. :ooops Sometimes we give him too much credit. It could just be that the child is exactly this: a child, and perhaps the raised voice of the speaker is doing it, not the devil at all.
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Thank you Vir Decimus I was speechless to read the above posting. Sometimes it would be nice if someone would go and help a poor mum dealing with multiple children and a crying baby instead of sitting in judgement and bannishing them to an outer room where they (the Mum) are mostly not spiritually fed. Whatever happened to

Romans 12:10 (King James Version)

Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;

Of course there is also this verse to consider.
Mark 10:14 (King James Version)

14But when Jesus saw it, he was much displeased, and said unto them, Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God.



Blossom

Just for clarity my children sit quietly for the most part. They have to remain in their seats not on the floor colouring etc. We have trained them at home and by having them in church service with us. I thank the Pastors and members of the church who helped and encourage this process. I am very thankful the Lord has us in a church that loves children on good and bad days.

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