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Children In The Church Service


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At what age did you all expect your children to be able to sit in a sermon and pay attention well enough to be able to tell you what it was about so that you knew they were indeed paying attention? How did you go about training them to pay attention? I am asking because I am wondering if I'm expecting too much, too little or about right out of my kids.

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Our son joined us in the evening services when he turned 3. The morning service at 5. That didn't mean he would understand everything, but he could begin = at 3, to learn to sit still, and start learning more songs. My hubby would question him about what he heard and we would kind of discuss it - more as he grew older. When he was able to write, he started taking "notes." He would write down each time certain words were said in the message. He had to listen in order to catch them all.

I think each child would be different as to the age that they could really start listening and understanding, but beginning the steps early is a good idea.

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My five year-old started sitting in church with us about two months ago, while he was still four. He is exceptionally alert, but usually only pays attention for about ten minutes after the song service ends. He knows he has to sit still, and does a really good job at it. Occasionally mid-sermon, if the pastor uses an illustration or is exceptionally dynamic - he will still be listening. On three occasions, I've had him ask me questions about the sermon on the drive home. That is encouraging.

Last Sunday night, he turned to me during the invitation and whispered, "God loves even the people who aren't in church, doesn't He?" in a matter-of-fact, rhetorical manner. It was good he was in church because this allows instances for him to ask me about God of his own accord and desire. It's like discipleship: a person who desires to learn will always go further than one who is being pressured into it.

Of course, it also probably helps that his grandpa is the pastor. :Green

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My five year-old started sitting in church with us about two months ago, while he was still four. He is exceptionally alert, but usually only pays attention for about ten minutes after the song service ends. He knows he has to sit still, and does a really good job at it. Occasionally mid-sermon, if the pastor uses an illustration or is exceptionally dynamic - he will still be listening. On three occasions, I've had him ask me questions about the sermon on the drive home. That is encouraging.

Last Sunday night, he turned to me during the invitation and whispered, "God loves even the people who aren't in church, doesn't He?" in a matter-of-fact, rhetorical manner. It was good he was in church because this allows instances for him to ask me about God of his own accord and desire. It's like discipleship: a person who desires to learn will always go further than one who is being pressured into it.

Of course, it also probably helps that his grandpa is the pastor. :Green


Aha! I am sure you're right. What a wonderful blessing that must be to your family. :thumb

I really appreciate all the comments, guys, keep them coming! What would you expect out of say, an 8yr. old? And would you have him take notes or not? My 8yr. old will not be 9 until Oct. but he is in 3rd grade.
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Aha! I am sure you're right. What a wonderful blessing that must be to your family. :thumb

I really appreciate all the comments, guys, keep them coming! What would you expect out of say, an 8yr. old? And would you have him take notes or not? My 8yr. old will not be 9 until Oct. but he is in 3rd grade.


They (my dad and my son) are both wonderful blessings, to be sure. :smile

When I was eight, I was definitely in church. Taking notes? I was never forced to learn, but the opportunity was always present. Occasionally I took notes, but that was mainly so I could rip off Pastor Oullette's sermons and use them on my family when it was my turn to give the family devotions. :lol

When I hit third grade, our school had an after-school soulwinning program. We learned the Bible and traveled on buses (under supervision, of course) and went door-to-door. I saw my first convert at age eight.
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I'd say taking notes would have to be determined by your child - does the child enjoy writing? If not, it could really distract. What we did with Josh was actually kind of his idea, but we simplified it so he could listen and not be concerned about the outline,etc. Maybe you could experiment with your child - have him listen to a sermon on tape or cd at home, and try to take notes. Then you can see if he's able to really concentrate ont he message or just on the form.

I'd say, though, that he is definitely old enough for you and your hubby to talk to him about what he learned...especially if the whole family was discussing it.

Vir - did you go to Rene Oullette's church? He speaks at our church about once a year...good preacher!

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3 1/2 - Sat through Wed service
4 - Sat through all services (except Sun AM-Junior Church)

By age 5, I expected them to learn at least 1 factual thing.


Thank you for being specific......that is what I was looking for. We have individual Sunday School classes, Jr church through 6th grade, nursery through 3yrs, and a children's program on Wed. night. The kids are with the adults for opening on Sun. am and Wed. pm. The only service they are with us completely on is Sunday Eve. as long as they are 4yrs. Sometimes I feel like that is not enough time to train them, and that the junior church "un-does" some of it because they gear it to be "fun". Is this an experience that is unique to me?
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I'd say taking notes would have to be determined by your child - does the child enjoy writing? If not, it could really distract. What we did with Josh was actually kind of his idea, but we simplified it so he could listen and not be concerned about the outline,etc. Maybe you could experiment with your child - have him listen to a sermon on tape or cd at home, and try to take notes. Then you can see if he's able to really concentrate ont he message or just on the form.

I'd say, though, that he is definitely old enough for you and your hubby to talk to him about what he learned...especially if the whole family was discussing it.

Vir - did you go to Rene Oullette's church? He speaks at our church about once a year...good preacher!


Thanks, HC, I'll give that a try. :thumb
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Thank you for being specific......that is what I was looking for. We have individual Sunday School classes, Jr church through 6th grade, nursery through 3yrs, and a children's program on Wed. night. The kids are with the adults for opening on Sun. am and Wed. pm. The only service they are with us completely on is Sunday Eve. as long as they are 4yrs. Sometimes I feel like that is not enough time to train them, and that the junior church "un-does" some of it because they gear it to be "fun". Is this an experience that is unique to me?


The ages I mentioned coincide with how our church operates. When kids get into kindergarten or turn 5, they start coming to the morning service. At three, they begin coming in to the evening services. We do have a kid's program on Thursday nights - the kids begin the service with us, and then go on to Master's Club.

Could you opt to bring your 4 or 5 year old into the Sun a.m. service.? That way they would be in two services? Personally, I think it's good for kids to be in the main service with their parents.
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Vir - did you go to Rene Oullette's church? He speaks at our church about once a year...good preacher!


If Rene Oullette = R.B. Oullette of Michigan, then yes. My father was his assistant pastor for about eight years before we moved to Florida. He was just down here a week ago, it was good to see him and his family again.
r.b._ouellette_1_wc98.jpg <----- ?
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The ages I mentioned coincide with how our church operates. When kids get into kindergarten or turn 5, they start coming to the morning service. At three, they begin coming in to the evening services. We do have a kid's program on Thursday nights - the kids begin the service with us, and then go on to Master's Club.

Could you opt to bring your 4 or 5 year old into the Sun a.m. service.? That way they would be in two services? Personally, I think it's good for kids to be in the main service with their parents.


I have seriously been considering just that. My only trepidation is that there will be some grumbling about "missing out on jr./children's church". I honestly am beginning to think that such a class is seriously hindering my kids more than it is helping. As in, it perhaps, enabling them or encouraging them to neglect spiritual food that they could otherwise tolerate by implying they aren't capable of ingesting it yet. Does that make sense? I'm so frustrated by it all.
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I have seriously been considering just that. My only trepidation is that there will be some grumbling about "missing out on jr./children's church". I honestly am beginning to think that such a class is seriously hindering my kids more than it is helping. As in' date=' it perhaps, enabling them or encouraging them to neglect spiritual food that they could otherwise tolerate by implying they aren't capable of ingesting it yet. Does that make sense? I'm so frustrated by it all.[/quote']

Well, our children's church is designed to be spiritually feeding, so I do feel for you! And I know that some would grumble...but it isn't their child! I remember one time when Josh was three, I told his children's ministry leader that we would be keeping him with us in the next service, because we didn't agree with some things she had planned. She said, "They aren't going to like that." And I told her, "Well, THEY aren't raising our son, we are." As it happened, she was the only one not happy with it, because she knew we weren't thrilled with her plans (nothing doctrinal, just a personal preference...but as parents we had the right to call it!). If 4 is the general age your church's kids join the service (even if it is usually only on the evenings), then, if your hubby is in agreement, by all means bring them into the service with you...and steel yourself to the grumbling, but be prepared to answer people straightly, if they ask, that you and your hubby believe it's the way God would have you do things. Be sweet, but they are your kids!!
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