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for those who are married


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I have some questions requests for you.

1. How did God bring you and your spouse together?

2. Did you have any doubts about whether or not it was God's will for you to marry your spouse?

3. What advice can you give to a young man like myself who is seeking to find the right spouse?

4. add anything else you feel relevant.

Edited by Jordan Kurecki
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1. My wife and I met as pen pals.

2. No doubts. So many things came together in unusual ways for this come about just right.

3. Don't seek to hard and don't rush it. Spend a great deal of time in prayer and wait upon the Lord to connect you with the right woman and make it clear she's the one. Along with this, don't try to "help" God bring this about and don't be willing to settle for less than God's plan or compromise on key matters in order to get married quicker.

4. Be patient. God's timing is perfect, ours is too often rushed and filled with mistakes.

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May I suggest that it is not so much WHO you marry, but HOW you marry? Is there one man (woman) God has prepared to be your life & ministry companion? Marry a fellow believer & your positive approach to marriage will be blessed. In earlier (including Biblical) times marriages were often arranged by families & you found yourself with a life companion who you would then begin to get to know. Youngsters did not have the freedom for courting they have today. 

Marry a fellow believer and you will have your God-given life companion.

In the 50s, when we married, there were plenty of church-based youth groups where you could get to know the other sex in an open situation. At university, where Ann & I met, we were members of the Christian Union. She first noticed me at my baptism. It was about 6 months later, after exams, when we were visiting on behalf of a church, that we paired up. Marriage was 4 years later. Nearly 63 years ago. 

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I have some questions requests for you.

1. How did God bring you and your spouse together?

2. Did you have any doubts about whether or not it was God's will for you to marry your spouse?

3. What advice can you give to a young man like myself who is seeking to find the right spouse?

4. add anything else you feel relevant.

​Apart from your spouse being born again Jordan, there is no other direction in God's Word about it. Except I Cor 7 which says you will be far better off serving God as a virgin and unmarried. But that is in direct contradiction to most folk's misunderstanding of pastoral quals.

I recommend you stop thinking you might receive a dream, vision or extra gooey feeling from the Spirit about one believer over another. IMO God could care less as long as you follow His Word (see point 1). IE, you won't get any extra revelation about it.

I am assuming you feel the need to have you your one wife before you get to pastor anything. Keep in mind though that you two will need to find you some younguns also before you get to start. So get busy brother, time's a wasting.

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1. Facebook, oddly enough. I was stationed in Hawaii and she was living in Texas working a night shift so we were about the only ones online to talk to and it just kind of sparked. (I've known her since 1st grade so it wasn't some blind internet dating or anything like that).

2. Not even a little bit. It was about a week or two after I had finally had enough of my backslidden life and asked God for forgiveness and told Him I'd do things His way from now on if He'd just show me how. Our relationship progressed in ways that only God could have made happen. He changed my heart through her.

3. Look for a Godly one that puts her relationship with Him before her relationship with you. Generally, just like what everyone else has said, the number 1 criteria should be that she is a saved child of God. Since you feel called to ministry, I would also make sure you find someone who is as given over to God as you are, or at least willing to head that direction.

4. Make a commitment to put God first and grow together by growing in Him. It takes 3 to make a marriage work: you, her, and God, with Him at the center.

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6 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.

7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

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My wife and I both attended IFB churches, at the time; but we were both lost. But sometimes God does things like giving us "handfuls of purpose" and He gives His "rain" (blessings) and the goodness of God to everyone. But it's ultimately up to you to choose the right one that God may bring your way and NOT choose the ones which are doubtful. I would advise marrying someone who loves God, loves people, loves your parents, is modest, behaves like a lady, and is grounded in a good solid, King James, IFB church.. I have known two men, in my present church, who married Pentecostals and they have had nothing but trouble and heartaches. The wives refused to attend church with them. One man finally gave in, went to his wife's Pentecostal church and the other man, still attending Baptist, is now talking about divorce.

Edited by heartstrings
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Good postings Heartstrings!

If we are in much prayer over the matter the Holy Spirit will give us the peace to know we are in the Lord's will. If that peace is missing, something is wrong; whether the wrong person, wrong timing or something else.

The Lord answers prayer, it's up to us to wait, listen and obey.

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I have some questions requests for you.

1. How did God bring you and your spouse together?

2. Did you have any doubts about whether or not it was God's will for you to marry your spouse?

3. What advice can you give to a young man like myself who is seeking to find the right spouse?

4. add anything else you feel relevant.

​How can I keep this short? :nuts:

1. How did God bring you and your spouse together?

I met my wife while I was dating another young lady. I'll spare all the details, but a couple of years later, we started dating; however, we both felt that after a few months, we should break up. She went to a well-known Bible College and got engaged to a guy while there. He turned out to be a psycho (that's true and not a cut at him) and caused her all kinds of problems. She left the college and came home. By this time, I was 26 years old, and I had decided that I would stay single; however, we started dating again, and the rest is history. So from the time we first met until we married was probably about 5 or 6 years.

2. Did you have any doubts about whether or not it was God's will for you to marry your spouse?

In my case, no...not at all. 

3. What advice can you give to a young man like myself who is seeking to find the right spouse?

As others have said, make sure she's saved and sincerely loves the Lord. 

4. add anything else you feel relevant.

 Make sure that you and she both SINCERELY love the Lord. I'm going to be blunt here Jordan...unfortunately, people are human. People change through the years. You'll change and she will change. There will be things that you both have problems with later on. I'm not the same man I was when we married, nor is she the same woman. Pride will rear its ugly head in both of your lives...what will bring you through is the Lord. Make sure that you both are devoted to the Lord and that you both are willing to be servants to one another.

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Great generalities laid out by Heartstrings, too many to quote. Unfortunately I don't see any directions for choosing a wife in there anywhere.

Good advice from others if Jordan can read minds, hearts and see the future. Unfortunately he can't so her testimony is all he's got.

If she is born again and you want her, go for it, plain and simple. Sounds like the Lord already put you together if she has equal interest in you. I guess that is the question you really need answered.

Edited by wretched
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Mat 6:33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

 

​Can I  just post a warning?

There is a danger that a young man can put the desire for a wife ahead of his desire to honour and serve the Lord.

If we put Him first in our lives, He will provide what we need.

I have seen it before where a young man becomes so caught up in finding a wife that he loses sight of the Lord.

Not suggesting this is where you are, but warning before you get there. ;) 

 

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