Jump to content
  • Welcome Guest

    For an ad free experience on Online Baptist, Please login or register for free

Perhaps I'm more out of touch with the world than I thought


Recommended Posts

  • Members

One of the roots too, though, is all the tv and video games that have 12 year old kids having a powerful sex drive. In the "old days" the kids were helping the family with farms or ranches or flocks and they didn't have time to oogle girls or role play sexual things or chat online.

We have really made it difficult on our young generation to stay pure because they are introduced to sex so young. Minds are dirtied today FAR earlier than God ever intended.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 70
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Members
What I was saying is there is nothing wrong with showing physical affection towards any person. Physical affection is not the same as preparing your body for sex. A boy kissing a girl goodnight is not preparing their bodies for sex....it is a goodnight kiss. Making out in the back of a car or in a bedroom is preparing your bodies for sex.

There is undoubtedly different types of kisses and different types of affection. There is the affection one has for mom, dad, brother, sister, uncle, aunt, friend, colleague, girlfriend, boyfriend, etc.

Showing affection is different than sex. Showing affection is not immoral in any way, shape or form, as long as it is mutual.

I can respect two people who decide not to kiss. But, to say kissing before marriage is universally wrong can lead to a very unhealthy attitude towards affection and confusion between physical contact and sexual stimulation.


To be honest, it seems your opinion disagrees with God's opinion.

1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
1 Cor 7:1-2 (KJV)
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Your church never joins hands in prayer? If so, then by pure mathmatics, someone is going to be holding the hand of a person of the opposite sex during prayer. Is that wrong?

Admittedly, in our culture we are more apt to hug as a greeting then kiss on the cheek, but my grandmom for instance if old school. She greets everyone with a lip kiss. That is how the dutch greet, and she still has that as her greeting. If your husband met my 96yo grandmom, he would lip kiss her (He would have no choice, she grabs your face... its rather annoying). I highly doubt that kissing is a typical greeting among people these days, but hugs certainly are. You said that "a holy kiss" means a handshake in America. Where did you get that from. Who says. Its totally cultural, and within most of our christian culture a hug is a completely benign greeting (and therefore an acceptable usage of the "holy kiss").

Your asking for Biblical principles that are right in front of you (IMO of course).

Principle one - Sexual touching is off limits outside of marriage (thanks to many passages, but I Cor 7 will do).
Principle two - Affectionate greetings that show love for one another are expected (actually encouraged) in church ("holy kiss")

Now I am not trying to defend Danny's position (I don't fully understand it, so I don't want to support it), or even the others. My main point of discussion was to say that I Cor 7 does NOT mean "touch" like touch his robe. Its obvious sexual touch.

I also follow your logic between what you do to another person's husband and what you do to a potential spouse should be the same. Therefore, if its ok to Kiss your BF, if ok to kiss anyone. I get that logic, but I disagree with it. That is a completely different matter all together. In other words, the two biblical principles listed above have nothing to do with what we are talking about here. SoS talks about not awakening love (again, that is rather sexual in nature). There are plenty of warnings about sexuality, but not about how to show affection.

You would have to show some biblical reason to avoid showing affection to someone to hold that kissing before marriage is a bad thing. Its completely normal for a person to show affection according to the measure of how much of a bond they have with that person. I kiss my wife. I huge a friend. I shake hands with an aquantance. Its measured culturally. In our culture Grandmom Gerda's lip kisses are just gross, but just because she has a different cultural context, that does not make them wrong. There can certainly be holy affection between two people. That affection can include a kiss goodnight. In fact, biblically, the only affection that is off limits is sexual in nature. Now I don't recommend that for young people, because of the old slippery slope, but certainly two people can kiss goodnight without taking their clothes off (physically or mentally).

The reason the measure of bond changes after marriage is the strength of that marriage bond. Once you give the ultimate measure of affection to your spouse, the bond with others diminishes. Culturally speaking, the bond I have with my gf (before marriage) is much stronger then the one I have with my friend's wives (after marriage). That is just common sense. My wife and I have very close friends who we feel fortunate enough to be close to. I hug him and her all the time. There is a stronger bond of affection (holy affection) between the four of us then with some of our other friends. Naturally, there is more holy affection shown.


And the boy said, I got to kiss her good night on our 1st date, can't wait for our 2nd date.

After 2nd date he thinks, wow, we held hands in the car and kissed, can't wait for that 3rd date.

Surely anyone knows where this leads to.

Yes, boyfriend and girlfriend kissing and holding hands leads to a place unmarried boy and girl should never go. Why tempt one another?

Holding hands in a prayer circle or with the next one to you while praying is nothing like the boyfriend and girlfriend who are alone.

Hugging someone at church is nothing like the boyfriend and girlfriend hugging one another when they're alone.

I recall a game we played in grade school once with life savers. Each row in our class took a toothpick held it with out teeth. the teacher put a lifesaver on the toothpick of the student that set on front, them they turned in their seat and that student would try to put it on the toothpick of the student behind them and so on.

I had a boy who set in front of me, that made me uncomfortable, had a girl setting behind me, that made me uncomfortable, must have been in the 2nd or 3rd grade.

Which the point was to see who got the lifesaver to the student on the back row the quickest.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members


To be honest, it seems your opinion disagrees with God's opinion.

1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
1 Cor 7:1-2 (KJV)


I think what you mean is that my opinion disagrees with your interpretation of God's opinion.

Those verses clearly refer to touching in a sexual way.

Physical contact is not the same as sexual contact. Contact to show affection is not the same as sexual contact.

The Biblical principal is that we should not touch each other in a sexual way outside of marriage. Kissing a date goodnight is far different from making out.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

If My son kissed a girl goodnight, I wouldn't act like he have sinned as if he had sex. I just think that he should work on avoiding temptation and that it is a good idea to wait your first kiss on the day you marry.

kinda like telling a child not to smell and touch a cookie if he can't resist the temptation. In fact, you would put it away until he is allowed to eat the cookie.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members


I think what you mean is that my opinion disagrees with your interpretation of God's opinion.

Those verses clearly refer to touching in a sexual way.

Physical contact is not the same as sexual contact. Contact to show affection is not the same as sexual contact.

The Biblical principal is that we should not touch each other in a sexual way outside of marriage. Kissing a date goodnight is far different from making out.


To the boyfriend and girlfriend who feel they're in love with one another kissing can lead to touching in a sexual way. And I'll guarantee that kiss your son or daughter places on their girlfriend & or boyfriend is much different than that kiss they kiss you with and means a completely different thing. I was not born yesterday nor did I just fall of the turnip truck.

The 1st step for our modern teens in having sex starts with them holding hands and kissing.

Why tempt one another? Why encourage teens to temp one another?
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

I know from my own personal experiences that kissing, even just a good-night kiss, to your date or girlfriend brings about sexual feelings and thoughts. It's also the case that kissing is generally the beginning of sexual things.

Kissing is one of the most passionate connections a couple can share and it releases so many hormones and feelings that raise sexual awareness and excitement. This is especially true when folks are younger and everything is in hyperdrive anyway.

And just like Jerry pointed out; the kissing leads to wanting just a little more...which leads to wanting just a little more...which leads to...

How many times have we heard about young Christian folks getting caught up in out of wedlock pregnancies and the story is typically the same. We started out kissing and then thought it would be okay to do this too and later it lead to doing that and eventually...

Best not to fire the stove up if you don't want it to burn.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Seems this is something many Christians just can't understand, what holding hands and kissing will lead to among teenagers. I'm 61 years old and I understand that well. Perhaps that is one reason there is so many babies born out of wedlock.

Of course now days there are many churches that sponsors a shower for the young unwed mother rewarding sinful behavior and it influences other young girls to do the same.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

What does I Corinthians mean then, when its says it is good for a man not to touch a woman?

I'm sure I"d have loved kissing around before marriage. Probably would have even enjoyed sex after engagement, as would anyone. But we waited. Why? Biblical principles....


that's the best example. I know from experience that if I kiss my bf one time, then the next time I'd want another kiss, and perhaps after a month, more kisses. This is very tricky cause it can lead to inappropriate situations thus it is better to stop it from the beginning by keeping physical contact to a bare minimum.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.



×
×
  • Create New...