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Is this a new attitude or..?


Anon

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Seems like everyone these days has this attitude of "Its MY life, you have NO business in it." Many professing Christians believe that way as well. We are sending our kids to a new Christian school this year (long story) and so far the only bad thing I've heard about it from "outsiders" is that they are "too strict" and "too many rules about what you can wear at home".

I am NOT bringing up the pants issue so lets just not go there...however....I see in the Bible that Christians were meant to be integrated, encouraging and exhorting one another, like a big family. I do not see the current mentality of "Let me life my own life".

I guess it started, what, in the 60's and now its in the churches....? That song I remember from my childhood..."I don't care what you say anymore, this is MY LIFE...." Seems like the whole world is like this now...everybody has a chip on their shoulder.

I was talking to an acquaintence/friend recently and we were comparing our kids' school and when she said something about the school we chose, suddenly her face got hard and her eyes got angry and she said "NOBODY is going to tell ME how to dress MY little girl at MY home."

While I understand a certain freedom to make choices at home...this attitude is really not healthy for Christians...its an automatic defensive thing, and people don't want you in their life.

Is this just the Northeast or is it nationwide?

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Its definitely in the world...you know..."I'm g ay, stay out of MY bedroom" or "I want an ab ortion, stay out of MY body", etc.... but now its in the churches too. "I am going to serve God MY way because He accepts ME how I am and you have no right to tell me otherwise!!!!"

I mean people generally don't go around saying that, but they sure live it...

(The typos are on purpose to avoid searches picking up my post)

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Seems like everyone these days has this attitude of "Its MY life, you have NO business in it." Many professing Christians believe that way as well. We are sending our kids to a new Christian school this year (long story) and so far the only bad thing I've heard about it from "outsiders" is that they are "too strict" and "too many rules about what you can wear at home".

I am NOT bringing up the pants issue so lets just not go there...however....I see in the Bible that Christians were meant to be integrated, encouraging and exhorting one another, like a big family. I do not see the current mentality of "Let me life my own life".

I guess it started, what, in the 60's and now its in the churches....? That song I remember from my childhood..."I don't care what you say anymore, this is MY LIFE...." Seems like the whole world is like this now...everybody has a chip on their shoulder.

I was talking to an acquaintence/friend recently and we were comparing our kids' school and when she said something about the school we chose, suddenly her face got hard and her eyes got angry and she said "NOBODY is going to tell ME how to dress MY little girl at MY home."

While I understand a certain freedom to make choices at home...this attitude is really not healthy for Christians...its an automatic defensive thing, and people don't want you in their life.

Is this just the Northeast or is it nationwide?


Oh that attitude is everywhere alright, and I think it comes from two closely related issues. There is a lot of doctrinal disagreement even among IFB's and even more disagreement on how to live a godly Christian life. That right there is a recipe for friction since there is little unity of heart and mind.

Also as a result of this reality a considerable number of IFB's tend to be rather withdrawn even(or perhaps more so) in church(guilty) because it seems like they get hurt almost every time they let down their guard a little. Since they are not very trusting they tend to be rather private and have some difficulty forming emotional attachments or sharing personal things even with people they think they pretty much agree with. Such people are exceedingly difficult to get to know or draw out very far in conversation, are often hard to get to participate in anything, and may seem rather cold & stiff.(again probably guilty, one of my faults)

Sometimes it is sort of like the old joke about two Quaker friends discussing their church. Says Quaker number one, Alas, I am sure of no one in our church but thee and me. Says Quaker number two after a brief pause... I also am sure of no one in our church but thee and me and I am none to sure of thee... :blink:


Is that the way things should be? No, but to get greater unity there is really only two options. One, everyone must become more Christlike and as our views/opinions/actions become closer to his we sort of bump in to one another and realize we are pretty unified in him. Obviously that is ideal but it is also easier said than done and rarely happens on a large scale. Option number two is lowering everything to the lowest common denominator for the sake of unity. That is what compromise/ecumenicalism is all about and while it "works" after a fashion I think most here would agree it isn't worth the cost since in the end almost everything of value ends up being sacrificed for unity as little by little the "common denominator" sinks lower and lower.

Slightly pessimistic post? Perhaps, but perhaps just realistic. If your focus is on people you will be disappointed. Something we all "know" but don't always remember to practice. Biblical unity requires everyone being inline with God, and while that is great it is also something we have very little control over. All we can control is ourselves and even that isn't easy. Edited by Seth-Doty
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Hmmm good point about the thing about putting walls up to avoid being hurt. I find myself doing that at times. Its so much easier just not to try to be somebody's good friend because I've been hurt SO many times....but still...Jesus said to forgive, not hole up. (Speaking to myself!)

I'm talking even further than that though....its like today, heaven forbid you have any personal standards higher than someone else....or they don't want to hear anything from you. God put in the NT about exhorting one another but man...you can't even accidentally HINT about anything like that these days, or people think you are being bossy or holier than thou. People are afraid to be honest these days because everyone seems to carry around so much inner anger and defensiveness.

I think I would have liked meeting somebody in the New Testament. Haha. I imagine they'd tell you to your face what is wrong with you but then they'd give you a hug, and tell you that they loved you, and you'd know beyond a doubt they really meant it!

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I think I would have liked meeting somebody in the New Testament. Haha. I imagine they'd tell you to your face what is wrong with you but then they'd give you a hug, and tell you that they loved you, and you'd know beyond a doubt they really meant it!


Yes, between such stalwarts as Demas, Hymenaeus, Alexander, Diotrephes etc. you could know you could count on everyone alright. Great choices for your early NT experience. :wink Paul made sure to tell use what a fabulous time in overall Christian holiness/ sincerity/purity it was in Philippians 2:20-21. :frog:

Just kidding a little, hope you don't mind. Seriously, in the biblical record following God has almost always been both a difficult and somewhat lonely path. We can be tickled when we encounter people on the same path that we can have close fellowship with, but we should not count on it.
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Much of it has to do with putting self above God. This is an especial problem in America where there is so much taught, often wrongly, about independence, liberty, be your own man, nobody can tell me what to do, and especially among some churched folks, I'm under grace...with the attitude being they can do as they please.

I recently encountered a Christian who seemed pretty conservative, fundamentalist leaning, as we talked. Then suddenly he brought up music and said something to the effect that fundamentalists are losing the younger generation and holding back those who could be saved because they refuse to accept hip-hop and rap Christian music! He was very energized about this, more so than any of the topics we had touched previously, and then he said Christians that are unwilling to adopt the hip-hop style, or gansta rap style, or skater style (and a few others) are working against God and condemning millions of young people to hell. Then he raises his shirtsleave and shows me a sword tattoo he got "to remind him of the power of God's Word" and to show those in these other groups how cool he can be even though he's a Christian. Our conversation didn't go too well after this though I tried to calmly raise some points because he was hyper-emotional about all this. He finally said that maybe someday I'd see the light and grow more in the Lord (not that time always matters, but I've been in the Lord for 30 years, he says he's been a Christian less than 5 years) and he left.

There are many professing Christian women who dress anywhere from immodestly to very immodestly and they proclaim they can dress however they want, nobody can tell them different and if anyone has a problem with it then it's the other persons problem.

I hear similar with regards to boozing, dirty movies, etc.

It "costs" a lot to truly put Christ first and most are unwilling to do this.

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I agree that there is an attitude amongst Christians that is not God-honoring. I would venture to say, though, that there is no scriptural authority given to the Christian school to mandate what goes on in individual homes. I do believe that there needs to be strong preaching about "thus saith the Lord." But all too often, since the '70's, in many churches the pastor becomes the de facto head of the home, and by extension, the Christian school carries that out as well. It isn't scriptural, as each individual man is the head of his home (and yes, I know that the man is to be subject to the Bible...but oftimes what is demanded is not biblical, it is man's opinion) and that headship is also usurped when the school says, "this is the way it's gonna be even in your home."

That said, however, I do believe that if someone places their children in a Christian school, they agree to abide by the rules and should carry through on that.. If they can't agree, they shouldn't place their kids in the school.

.

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I agree that there is an attitude amongst Christians that is not God-honoring. I would venture to say, though, that there is no scriptural authority given to the Christian school to mandate what goes on in individual homes. I do believe that there needs to be strong preaching about "thus saith the Lord." But all too often, since the '70's, in many churches the pastor becomes the de facto head of the home, and by extension, the Christian school carries that out as well. It isn't scriptural, as each individual man is the head of his home (and yes, I know that the man is to be subject to the Bible...but oftimes what is demanded is not biblical, it is man's opinion) and that headship is also usurped when the school says, "this is the way it's gonna be even in your home."

That said, however, I do believe that if someone places their children in a Christian school, they agree to abide by the rules and should carry through on that.. If they can't agree, they shouldn't place their kids in the school.

.

Sounds like what folks oughtta do before they join a church. Many a time young people hear what pastor preaches, then mom & dad don't agree so there is the inconsistency. I think it is just one more reason so many of the young people get out of church.
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Interesting topic! I think that people claim the liberty of Christ instead of personal accountablity to Christ. I don't agree with the school dictating what happens in the home that is the job of the head the home. As for people getting defensive. I think it's world wide and the reasons are so varied the generalisations on it are pointless. The Lord has taught me over the past year to show grace where I disagree and to lead by example and prayer. If something is outright wrong I will very definately say I don't agree and give scripture why, if it's an issue that can be argued both ways and not of major importance, I just let it go.

I would like to encourage those that talked about holding back and building walls to please reconsider. People need grace and love! Quitting is another worldly favourite in the attitude department, I had a friend who didn't quit on me when I was depressed, defensive, angry and more. She loved me despite myself and I am ever so grateful. Sometimes reactions are coming from more than a bad attitude.

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To defend the school....I am not sure about the rules but they prefer the students to dress modestly at all times. Most of the school is their own church members. They are good enough to extend the school to those outside of the church, with certain qualifications. If a person chooses to go to the school, then they also choose to abide by the rules.

I was just saying there's nothing to be angry about, really.....people go overboard these days...even to the extent of feeling that a woman having to wear a skirt is "abusive". Really? I mean, you don't have to wear a skirt, but its not abusive to do so....

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