How a wife weakens her husband

[IM4given]

I do not believe there are any women here at OB that are like this, but I found this article to be very interesting!

HOW A WIFE WEAKENS HER HUSBAND

I find it hard to believe that a woman is oblivious to the influence that she has over a man or men in general. In fact, I would say that we are very aware of the power of feminine persuasion! But in light of that truth, many of us flush our female influence down the toilet simply so we can have our own will and way in various settings, with no concern for the deep affect of our indifference or rebellion. And so, today's devotion is centered on the topic of YOU and the impact of your wifely performance. I hope you are up for the confrontation! I have done some study and reflecting of my own and put together a list of ways that wives typically tamper with the character of their husbands. I'm certain there are more than are mentioned, but I think you'll find it is plenty to tackle for now! Please take the time to look up the scripture references to heighten your understanding of each point. As [bible]Titus 2:4[/bible] and [bible]1 Timothy 3:11[/bible] state, sobriety must be a woman's distinguishing characteristic if she ever expects to have the right kind of influence in the life of her husband, her children, the church, and society in general. In fact, a lack of sobriety will leave you disinclined to look into the matters I've listed below. And if that is the case, your husband is already in trouble!

1. NAGGING SPIRIT ([bible]Acts 16:16-18[/bible])
2. WEEPING AND WHINING ([bible]Judges 14:15-17[/bible])
3. CRITICIZE HIS PREACHER ([bible]Mark 6:17-19[/bible])
4. CONSTANTLY CORRECT HIM/USURP HIS AUTHORITY ([bible]1 Timothy 2:12[/bible])
5. BLAME GOD FOR ADVERSITY ([bible]Job 2:9[/bible])
6. ACCOMPANY HIM IN WRONG DOING ([bible]Acts 5:1-2[/bible])
7. STIR HIM UP IN EVIL ([bible]1 Kings 21:25[/bible])
8. SUPPLY HIM WITH UNSCRIPTURAL COUNSEL ([bible]Esther 5:14[/bible])
9. NEVER PRAY FOR HIM ([bible]1 Timothy 2:1-2[/bible])
10. DESPISE HIS ADVANCEMENTS ([bible]2 Samuel 6:16[/bible])
11. CAUSE HIM TO DOUBT YOUR CHARACTER ([bible]Proverbs 31:11-12[/bible])
12. EXCESSIVE PRAISE OF OTHER MEN ([bible]1 Samuel 18:7[/bible])
13. NEVER SEEK HIS GUIDANCE ([bible]1 Corinthians 14:35[/bible])
14. PERSONAL LAZINESS ([bible]Proverbs 31:13-28[/bible], [bible]Proverbs 19:15[/bible])
15. GRIEVE HIS PARENTS ([bible]Genesis 26:34-35[/bible], [bible]Proverbs 12:4[/bible])
16. DESPISE MOTHERHOOD ([bible]Psalm 127:4-5[/bible], [bible]Titus 2:4[/bible])
17. PLAY FAVORITES WITH HIS CHILDREN ([bible]Genesis 27:6-29[/bible])
18. INTERFERE WITH CHILD DISCIPLINE ([bible]1 Timothy 2:4-5[/bible])
19. BE A REASON HE COULDN?T ANSWER GOD?S CALL ([bible]Luke 19:14[/bible])
20. NEGLECT HIS PHYSICAL & EMOTIONAL NEEDS ([bible]Proverbs 5:18-19[/bible], [bible]1 Corinthians 7:5[/bible])

Oswald Chambers said, The radiating influence of one person rightly related to God is incalculable Ladies, I hope that you will make it your business to assess your wifely influence in your husband's life and be sure that it is strengthening him and intensifying his relationship with the Lord rather than weakening it. I'm not advocating becoming a pushy person, but a stronger Christian. If you have learned some things about yourself by way of this list and your influence is not holy, correct it and cultivate it according to the Word of God. It is the most natural thing to be like the person you live with most, therefore live most with Jesus Christ. This too, was said by Oswald Chambers and I join him in counseling you the same.
Copyright 2006 Pamela A. Iannello

I might just add that it's not the husband's duty to see that his wife submits to him. God requires the wife to submit to her husband.
1 Peter 3:1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; 2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. 3 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; 4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. 5 For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: 6 Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.

[PastorHarrison]

Good points in that....would add that the wife plays an equally influential role in the lives of the children.... The wife in a home can be the Devil's greatest weapon against the whole family....just as parents who skip church and forsake the Bible become Satans most powerful weapon against their own children.....

Women I think grasp far less of the impact they have than reality would reveal could it be seen before it's too late.

So too, a wife can be just as much the tool of God in the life of the Husband / home / children if she's able to stand for God within an otherwise unstable home. She can be the fountain from which God brings forth the waters of the Spirit.....and through her change the whole thing!!!

[HappyChristian]

Interesting...I'll have to look up the scriptures when I have time to really look at them. She had a lot of really good points.

[Guest Guest]

Good points in that....would add that the wife plays an equally influential role in the lives of the children.... The wife in a home can be the Devil's greatest weapon against the whole family....just as parents who skip church and forsake the Bible become Satans most powerful weapon against their own children.....

Women I think grasp far less of the impact they have than reality would reveal could it be seen before it's too late.

So too, a wife can be just as much the tool of God in the life of the Husband / home / children if she's able to stand for God within an otherwise unstable home. She can be the fountain from which God brings forth the waters of the Spirit.....and through her change the whole thing!!!

PastorHarrison!

[IM4given]

[quote="HappyChristian"]Interesting...I'll have to look up the scriptures when I have time to really look at them. She had a lot of really good points.[/quote]

Each verse is linked to the appropriate scripture, using the [Bible] button when I posted so that will save lots of time!

[HappyChristian]

[quote="IM4given"][quote="HappyChristian"]Interesting...I'll have to look up the scriptures when I have time to really look at them. She had a lot of really good points.[/quote]

Each verse is linked to the appropriate scripture, using the [Bible] button when I posted so that will save lots of time![/quote]

Yeah - I like that. But I like to read the surrounding verses, too. Thanks for posting this. In this day and age we live, women just don't want to accept it!

[Guest Guest]

Yeah - I like that. But I like to read the surrounding verses, too. Thanks for posting this. In this day and age we live, women just don't want to accept it!

Thanks, Janet! Yes! LuAnne! Just as my mom is appalled at this "day and age with women" and how they weaken their husbands...my dad (even though he has been long deceased) would have had a coronary by now. He couldn't believe it in the 1970-1980's. :eek

[PastorHarrison]

One way a wife weakens her husband (in the spiritual sense) is by making it easy for him. Here's what I mean: Say the husband for whatever reason has not grown into his role of decision maker in spiritual matters... in short, if the wife does not lead then the family goes nowhere spiritually. She must ever be encouraging him to pray, hold family altar, hold family Bible study, get the family motivated to go to church....etc etc... So, being used to being the driving force, she makes it in essence easy for him to 'not lead' because she's doing it for him.....

Best thing in the world, in my estimation, would be for some women to literally begin force feeding the husband his spiritual decisions.... Make him make more and more decisions and when he does, encourage him, reinforce it, demonstrate willingness and even enthusiasm over it. Men, many of them at least, unfortunately require more maintenance than the box indicates before you buy one.

Illustration: By telling your husband "that is a responsibility on your shoulders between you and God....we'll follow your lead...but please pray about where you're taking this family as it's head". Such a statement, delivered sincerely, has such a solem impact on men that they tend to take a step back and 'rethink' what theyre doing.... Not always, but its a good start.

[bzmomo7]

Good check-list to go through!! I have also found, being one of those severely flawed creatures myself, that it is my motives that I need to be watching. It is easy to do the right things for the wrong motives, or have the purest intentions and have it all muddled up because of a misunderstanding. I have seen that when my motives are right and I am drawing close to the Lord; God helps me to overcome the difficulties, but when I do the right things for the wrong reasons, it eventually falls apart and is not blessed in the end. KWIM? Well, the women on here probably know what I mean. :lol:

[IM4given]

I think some men get this all mixed up. They do not fully understand that they are to be the PROVIDERS. My xh was really upset with me when I became sick and had to have surgery and could not work - he felt I was not "carrying my share of the financial burden" - when I was perfectly willing to cut back on our household expenses and live on his salary alone. He felt that it was important for both the husband AND the wife to work! I am by nature a very frugal person. He did not want to live without all the luxuries in life that he felt he was entitled to.

1 Timothy 5:8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

Then there are women who get this verse of scripture all mixed up. They think that they GUIDE everything in the marriage, and not just the house! They want to rule over everything in the family while the husband is out working and slaving away to pay for it all. This causes everything to be out of balance, and is not the way God intended at all, IMHO.

1 Timothy 5:14 I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.

I believe that if men and women are to live together under the bonds of matrimony as God intended, they need to understand how to have balance in their lives - the man is not 100% power and neither is the woman, if they have a wrong attitude about who does what, it causes a great deal of strife. Too much of the world is into the women's lib ideas of women having successful careers and shun the whole idea of staying home and guiding the house, and there are too many men out there think they have to browbeat their wives into submission, even if that includes forcing them out of the house and into the labor force, and causing them to neglect their roles as mothers.

Best thing in the world, in my estimation, would be for some women to literally begin force feeding the husband his spiritual decisions.... Make him make more and more decisions and when he does, encourage him, reinforce it, demonstrate willingness and even enthusiasm over it. Men, many of them at least, unfortunately require more maintenance than the box indicates before you buy one.

I hate to say this PAstor Harrison, but what you are describing sounds a little like potty-training! Maybe young wives ought to spend time teaching their husbands how to take their proper roles as the Head of their House. Unfortuantaely sometimes the "worldly pattern" is too deeply ingrained for the husband to allow himself to be trained - so then much prayer is also needed!

[deafnva77]

So, being used to being the driving force, she makes it in essence easy for him to 'not lead' because she's doing it for him.....

My mother did this to my dad. She paid the bills, did most of the manly work (and I mean works that require alot of Testosterone) for him, etc. When she died, My dad was lost and clueless how to do anything for himself. He didn't know who to pay a bill or even cook except a bologna sandwich. He could look for a new wife, but he haven't do it yet. He is finally getting the hang of everything and realized how stressful things are. Yet, he still wishes my mother was still around doing everything for him.

[trc123]

!@#$%^&*()_!@#$%^&*()_.....................ah, never mind; I won't say it!

[deafnva77]

!@#$%^&*()_!@#$%^&*()_.....................ah' date=' never mind; I won't say it![/quote']

With all that symbols, I'm glad you didn't say it. Shouldn't be thinking that type of language either.

[trc123]

Oh, I got ya.........I wasn't thinking anything profane or cursing or anything like that. I was thinking what I'd like to say to men who think they are "doing God's will" by the way they are treating the women around them like a child (or worse yet a family pet).

But I won't go there.

[bzmomo7]

I think some men get this all mixed up. They do not fully understand that they are to be the PROVIDERS. My xh was really upset with me when I became sick and had to have surgery and could not work - he felt I was not "carrying my share of the financial burden" - when I was perfectly willing to cut back on our household expenses and live on his salary alone. He felt that it was important for both the husband AND the wife to work! I am by nature a very frugal person. He did not want to live without all the luxuries in life that he felt he was entitled to.

1 Timothy 5:8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

Then there are women who get this verse of scripture all mixed up. They think that they GUIDE everything in the marriage, and not just the house! They want to rule over everything in the family while the husband is out working and slaving away to pay for it all. This causes everything to be out of balance, and is not the way God intended at all, IMHO.

1 Timothy 5:14 I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.

I believe that if men and women are to live together under the bonds of matrimony as God intended, they need to understand how to have balance in their lives - the man is not 100% power and neither is the woman, if they have a wrong attitude about who does what, it causes a great deal of strife. Too much of the world is into the women's lib ideas of women having successful careers and shun the whole idea of staying home and guiding the house, and there are too many men out there think they have to browbeat their wives into submission, even if that includes forcing them out of the house and into the labor force, and causing them to neglect their roles as mothers.



I hate to say this PAstor Harrison, but what you are describing sounds a little like potty-training! Maybe young wives ought to spend time teaching their husbands how to take their proper roles as the Head of their House. Unfortuantaely sometimes the "worldly pattern" is too deeply ingrained for the husband to allow himself to be trained - so then much prayer is also needed!

"Potty-training"! You put this quite humerously, and I did think it was funny, but also, I suppose, in some ways it's not. I might be misunderstanding something here, so y'all can correct me if I'm way off, but it doesn't seem like we women ought to be trying to "train" our husbands in his spiritual role if we are not the leaders of the home. To do so by the above methods, to me, seem like manipulation to some degree.