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  1. Life and Death   Before I lived I did not wish for life; yet now that I live I do not wish for death. Yet both come unbidden and sudden.   As I wait for sleep, I toss and turn with the realization: I am alive and will cease to be. Death will come upon me just as it has to all life before me.   What does death have in store for me? Before I lived I had no thought of such things. There was no fear for there was no me... that I can recall.   Will it be as it was before? Before life. Before me. Before my existence in this life?   Will death restore me to the state I was in before life? Or is death just a stepping stone to another new life? Is death only the removal of my living being from its cocoon of a shell; so that it may continue on its journey of life in a new form?   Will it be to a new body (to begin a new life, with fresh memories to create, with no memory of previous life), to begin the cycle of worry and pondering over anew?   I have no memories from before this life, so why would I have them after?   All that I know now I know from this life and from the ideas of those who lived before me, in this existence.   No one has come from beyond life, nor from beyond death, to tell us they come from a place of life. No one.   That is, unless I believe what some say of Jesus, whom, some say was the God creator; life incarnate.   But even this is told to me by people of this existence; past down to them from ages past. I would certainly like to know if this is true.   Sleep is coming. I can feel it now.   The focus of my pondering is wandering. Fear of death and worries of life slowly leave me; a calm assurance covers me.   I know that when I sleep I will dream and then I will awake.

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