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I am a 20 young christian electrical engineer (studying at a Polytechnic University + working in Electrical Power Systems) from Europe, and I want to ask you for some godly advice concerning marriage, more exactly arranged marriages. First of all, before I say something about this, I want to ask if God has picked a spouse for everyone. The idea for me is that there is no specific Bible verse or passage that speaks of God picking specific persons for us to marry. There are four examples, Adam, Isaac, Hosea and Joseph, concerning God arranging marriages but all of these were special circumstances and I don't see how can we build a doctrine on special interventios of God to stipulate that He arranges marriages. The Bible speaks of finding wife but it also says that a good spouse is a gift from God. Apostle Paul says if someone decides freely in his heart then to marry his duaghter and in the following verse he also says that if someone single decides the same then he also should get married. Moreover, God through the Holy Spirit advised us to choose not to marry, saying that he who marries does god but he who not does better because he is concerned with God's work and not with pleasing a spouse. He also wants to spare us from the hardship of marriage and life. He recommends us virginity and celibacy and seeking the Kingdom but also encourages us to marry due to immorality. I for one don't have this gift and I know for sure that I can't stand to be single in celibacy so I will get married. Moreover, Bible talks about Abraham taking a wife, Judah taking a wife etc. Proverbs 31 was written for helping young men find a good godly wife. I agree that God guides us through the Holy Spirit and gives us wisdom to seek and find a wife. The Bible says that we should inform God of our plans and intentions and He will bring things to pass. But it is one thing to say that God guides us and something else to say that He is picking spouses for everyone. It is certain for me that the story of soul mates is mythical and originates from movies, romantic novels and from Plato's philosophy. There are some logical problems I find with this issue. If God picks someone for everybody what happens if the person dies? Isn't the story of soul mates wrong? Because Bible encourages remarrying after the spouse's death. But what if one chooses the life of celibacy even if he is not gifted with this? What will happen than? What's the point of love then if God arranges everything? Who is to blame because so many young men and women are not yet married and is not sure that they will ever be? And moreover the Bible says that love is a choice and not a sentiment based on feelings. It involves feelings but basicaly is not this. It is strange because if we carefully put into action the biblical pattern for love and marriage roles described by Paul then we could get married with anyone and have the most happiest marriage from all times. And if we're honest, I think that in the end everybody chooses freely to marry with someone not because God said them to do so. There are examples of people that are saying that their marriaged was arranged by God and I don't know what to say than just affirm that there is no biblical support that God promised or sweared to us that He will arrange our marriages. Better is to say that God is guiding them through the Holy Spirit and helping in the process of finding someone to marry. In the end, if God arranges marriages shouldn't be them perfect? Why is that that these are not? I am saying all these to you because as I've said I am on the point of having an arranged marriage and I am very concerned to do God's will in my life. It was not our parents idea of arranged marriage, but ours: we at some point in life (each one individually) told our parents to look for a spouse for us and from this particular point things evolved until her parents found me and my parents found her. It is not a forced marriage neither from me nor from her. We have freely decided to marry each other and there is no pressure from our parents to act this way so we are not forced into marriage. I want to kindly ask for some godly advice concerning this idea that God has specific persons in His mind for us. It would be against God's will if we would have an arranged marriage? From what Scripture says I think not and more than that there is good biblical suport that God will bless our marriage giving the fact that we will be marrying in the Lord. Thank you for your attention and I hope that we will be in touch very soon. I am looking forward for your answer. Yours sincerely, Stephen
My fellow Brothers and Sisters in Christ, I am seeking scripture that speaks out against my topic. I do not believe that God would come to another induvidual and tell them something that he had intended for the person being told to find out. Here is what I am facing; my relationship of a month shy of two years was ruined by a woman who told my significant other that "God told her that she needed to end our relationship." I cannot blame my Girlfriend for listening to her do to the fact that I am out numbered in this fight. Her Mom, Sister, and Grandparents share the same penocostal holiness faith. She is not that way herself, however her mind could be swayed when the core of her family is in support of this. The woman who told her to do this is a Second cousin whom is more like an Aunt to her and they have always been close. She is the second wife to a man (her third marrige herself) who pastors a church in our area. His congregation is being led by him unknowing of his past life...I guess he doesn't read the book of Timothy...however thats a different discussion. I need verses and most of all prayers because the only way that her and I can make it back together is by God's touch. Thank you friends!
Hi everyone.. guess you remember me to all those who posted in the thread that I started wayback. Im back! still the same as before... Well, the guy that I've mentioned (still the same guy 2014). Well, here's an update. Our pastor and his wife invited us for a chat. Since they're concerned about me since Im a member of our church, and the guy that I like (he's studying in a bible college taking up masteral, by faith because his savings went to different people who asked for his help that they will borrow his money and return it when they're able to pay him, he sold his small business because it is not God honoring according to him, and he's changing his ways). At present he's unemployed he doesn't want to get a job because he can't manage a full-time job because according to him, he's studying and does part-time/volunteer preaching in our church (sometimes he's invited in neighboring churches). My question is should I wait for him even if I know marriage is not his priority, but he told me if I'll meet his standard of loving God first, then maybe he'll consider me. Plus I need to fix an issue about my family that is important to him. He's not looking for a relationship because he told me his vocation is his priority. If God will give him a partner it must met his standard (a God first woman, and someone who's matured spiritually). I admit I lack those criteria, or have fallen short because I'm just a newly professed Christian I was baptized 4 yrs. ago. At present he knows that I like him, and I am helping him financially, for his studies and for his things in school like gadgets. He also emphasized to me that if ever God will send him a partner the woman must be willing to be a bread-winner because he'll do full time ministry. I can't explain everything here. Anyway, should I kill my feelings for him, (coz' I have sacrificed a lot), also he's staying in my family's house because its near our church and the place of his classmate where he used to stay before is quite far. We are really like brothers and sisters. And I know most of his personal life. vice-versa He has helped me a lot, taught me Christian studies. Should I wait? Continue praying? or simply forget him? (He was in a failed relationship 5 times and the last was a hard blow) So his criteria is really hard.